Many people are uncomfortable with me. Some make snide remarks to me to go back to my ‘lot’ . Some forever go ‘poor thing’ and think I need their sympathies. Some do not know what to say to me and therefore, keep quiet, keep a distance and pretend like they don’t know anything. Well, does it matter? It doesn’t. I don’t give a damn to anyone’s remarks. Life is too short to be bothered with what people thinks. Life is too wonderful be to spoilt by the rotten few. Life has much more to offer than to care if anyone cares.
Being a bereaved mom is not the end of the world. I never go around begging people to listen to my sob-sob stories. My tears are too precious to be shown to anyone. But sometimes, I do enjoy opening up a few eyes with what I went through. I do get a kick out of giving some people a knock, knock, wake up, get out of your shell and live life fully. The world is full of people who lives in glass houses. They have everything provided for. They have proper home, proper food and clothing, proper kids, proper spouse, proper routine like waking up, eat, shit, sleep, waking up, eat, shit, sleep… And in the process, they think the world revolves around them and goes by their rules.
I had been through a lot, against the storm, the clouds, the rain, hailstorms, earthquakes, drought. These have toughen me up and today, I can stand up and rejoice that come what may, life is never going to get me down.
I owe this brave attitude to one person. My other son. He is my other son because he is no longer here. But that other son will remain weaved in my life. Everything I do, I do it because of him. Not for him but because of him. Here is my son which I am terribly proud of:
24th September, 2001 ~ 1st May, 2002
His life story can be found at his special site.
Not sure why I bring him into the topic but I guess I am about to embark on something big, new and scary to me. So, I will probably dig back the kind of courage I had back then and use it for good purpose this time.