Imagine this – my son is so small, he fits only into age 8 yrs clothes. His teacher gave him a set of shorts and singlet that can fit into an 80KG fatso size XXL. The shorts can fill 3 of my sons and still got room. The singlet’s arms and collar opening dropped down to almost his navel, revealing the nipples and rack of bones. And we had to fork out RM100 for that.
Be calm. Son looks worried and told 5xmom and papa that teacher said he must wear this tomorrow morning. Pull deep breath. Ask son if he has pointed out to teacher that the sizes do not fit. Son said, got, told teacher liao but she said nothing.
The forever cool 5xmom did what good moms do.
5xmom – Never mind, don’t worry, you find your primary school clothes to wear tomorrow, I write letter.
Son – Teacher said cannot simply any colour *face appearing freak out at teacher’s threats*.
5xmom – Never mind, you give her my letter, she will not cane you wan.
The usually very nice papa – *hold the pants in the air* What the F is your teacher doing? Wei, we pay already, if size cannot fit, find alternatives, how can give this kind of shit? (you knowlah, accountnut always count every sens wan mah. Never short change an accountnut or you die.)
Whole family wah in unison – Wah…. papa said F word.
5xmom – F is for family, fun or friends? (good thing read blog about the F word from Loopymeals early on)
Son – But my friend Azad (same size as him) got even bigger one, size XXXL
Now, 5xmom fire start to spark liao. How many poor kids are going through this? Their whole class students are all small sizes due to the strange phenomena that kids born in the monkey year are small.
5xmom – You know? I can sue her. She traumatise my son with a giant shorts. He needs to consult a child psychologist. RM300 per hour, you need at least 10 session x 2 hours each to recover fromt the giant pants nightmare. She can afford RM6,000 or not? Plus lawyer fees? Don’t play-play with me hor, I blog her baru tau.
Kids starting to laugh when 5xmom gone bollywood.
5xmom – How would she feel if her boyfriend gives her 38D (lacy bra) when all she got is airport?
Kids now going blur with the terms.
5xmom – niamah cheekok, phulangkang, tsunami victims also got better deal la. (at least they are lucky to have people sieve out all the torn bras, soiled panties and one leg pants)
8 yrs son now curious with the new language and ask what is nmck and plk.
5xmom – nothing la, I am only speaking Hakka and Hainanese only
*sat down to write letter and curse, curse, curse. Intentionally leave out all the please and thank you.*
Update today : Son said letter given to teacher but she said all free sizes like that. And no action has been taken by the teacher to change #2 son to be in the same yellow house (sports) as his big brother eventhough we had placed the request twice as it is normal for the school to do that. Teacher said yellow house full liao, cannot fit in one more.
*conclusion – The F word papa is going to school tomorrow morning. Condolences to the form teacher. Meanwhile, 5xmom is going to make a mental note never to show her face in school, ever (It is not nice for people to know my husband say the F word, you know?). And yeah, to secretly ask son if teacher is SYT or old hag. Who knows, the nice papa turned DOM, may forget his F word and mission when faced with demure, long hair, teacher who is a SYT.
*Moral of the story – We must teach our kids to act accordingly when being short-changed. Probably, the teacher was not given this lesson on how to say ‘Tak Nak’ (no) and hence, she dare not tell the headmaster that her class are all monkeys and not rhinos sizes. She must have quietly gulped down whatever is dished to her. Though I do feel the hard situation of the teacher, I also think it is rather insensitive for her to pass out huge sizes of clothings her students can’t fit into and yet instructs them to wear it. What if one of them dropped the shorts in the school field and become impotent for the rest of his life? Or end up like Adam Sandler in Anger Management? How? How? Gooosfraba, gooosfrabaaaa