They should have chopped off Valentine’s head before he got a chance to send the love note. He should not have been called a saint because he has caused many women, for centuries to shed tears. And some like Twinsmom and I (and millions of other wives) to turn into sour grapes. Yadda yadda yadda every day is a Valentine’s Day yadda yadda yadda. Oh, another sin of this person is – he caused many males to turn into nervous wrecks. And some into sinister guys like a certain heavenly blogger.
It is early morning on Valentine’s Day and so, Auntie Lilian aka 5xmom aka the love doctor wannabe has some tips to a tear free/nerves free day.
You did not get that bouquet/gift/wish/dinner invitation from that one guy that you had been dying and craving for? No big deal. Receiving a bouquet of flowers doesn’t seal love for eternity. There are lots of fishes in the big ocean, he may not be the one. He may be too broke to spend. He is just being rebellious, not wanting to go with the flow. Frankly speaking, it is pukey to see all those couples out in town. Damn very Ah Lian and Ah Beng, if you ask me. Stay at home tonight and stay off all those mushy TV programmes. Instead tune in to 5xmom entertaining blogs. Or you can try reading the Dragon turning wind’s blog. After that, go on to more blogs. Most of all, love yourself before you want to love another person. You have to appreciate and admire yourself before you can present your best side to anyone.
I got this IM last night. (whoever it is, I swear I do not reveal identity, ok?)
Guy : Auntie Lilian, what can I get for RMXX?
AL : Condoms?
Guy : LOL
AL : Dey, if you are broke, tell your gal. If she doesn’t understand and accept the fact, tell her go fly kite. A girl should appreciate sincerity more than money.
Guy : Still, I have to get her something.
AL : Age/working/studying?
Guy : *given answer*
AL : OKlah, get her something she can hug. Tell her that something is you. Girls are damn dumb and romantic wan, they are going to giggle every night, in bed imagine she is hugging you.
Trust me – lots of people are going to be disappointed today. If they don’t read 5xmom’s very motivating blog.
Excuse the love doctor wannabe now, she has to get herself a very kau-kau, Nescafe Gold+Hershey Chocholate+susu cap
koteteko. Because she did not get even get a wish! But who cares, she is a woman. Who knows where she stands. Who knows who love her. (err…you?) Fark Valentine.
Disclaimer – Lest my Catholics peers condemn me with names, please know that this is written in humour. I believe in God…the communion of saints, the resurrection of life….I believe my little Vincent is my little Saint Vincent. So get off my blog if you misread me, ok? Because I believe in angels and saints more than most of you.
And to those females who cannot wait to jump on me for being submissive, neh, neh, neh, you can go flush your head down the toilet bowl. Doc says so (in my comment board).