Memories of Vincent


This photo is taken on CNY in 2002. Of Vincent.

I had actually written something that needs a box of tissue papers to read but ‘someone’ had disturbed that train of thoughts. So thankful for that, ‘someone’, I ter-delete my notepad text file.

Nevertheless, just found this picture while I was organising my photos. 4 years ago, at this time, Vincent got sick and was admitted. I remember spending the 9th day of CNY in Lam Wah Ee Hospital cursing that I cannot be home for prayers to Thnee Kong. Then, I remember how desperate I was in getting home before Chap Goh Meh. At one point, Dr. Cheang had discharged Vincent. We had packed the things to return home and said goodbye to Dr. C which included my usual handshake and ‘I don’t want to see you anytime soon’ greetings. But just as we were about to leave the ward, Vincent suddenly got into trouble. (He was on oxygen and you can see the tiny tube across his face.) Nothing can describe my despair then.

And that was the end of my hope of ever returning home at all. We spent a subsequent 2 months in Lam Wah Ee, one month of which was in the ICU. Then, we went to UMMC and Vincent died after 10 days in UMMC on May 1st 2002.

Don’t anyone try to tell me I have Matthew. Yesterday, I broke down talking to Kah Shin (baby Ryan’s mom) because of this. I told Kah Shin no one can ever take Vincent’s place. No matter how. Poor Kah Shin ended up having to console me instead.

Now, I got over my foul mood. Time to find something to laugh again. Hugs please?

29 Replies to “Memories of Vincent”

  1. Me me me me…BIG BEARY HUG FOR YOU
    ((((LILIAN))))

    Guess I’ll never fully understand those anxieties and roller coaster feelings you’ve had..but then, you will always have Vincent..
    I can only see his eyes looking at you in the photo…what a sweetie he is.

  2. He is the cutest baby and a very brave one.
    It may have been a short time here for him with you here. But he certainly has achieved a whole, whole lot.
    He lead the whole family into Christ, no mean feat, for a little tyke. Take comfort, he’s waiting in heaven, and that’s for eternity. Lots of hugs and love from the Buaya family.

  3. you know I don’t give cyber hug because of some *CONCERN* and “FAB, LOL” ppl. but here I have to give you a big big big hug.
    for those ppl who said you-have-Matthew-mah, they just want to be nice, but they don’t know how to be nice, so take a deeep breath tell them they don’t share the same name. left arm can never replace right arm.
    I love this picture, he is an angel. so as you–a BIG one, LOL…

  4. alright alright … don’t rush… girls below 28 years old, you can hug me instead … and those above 28, you may proceed ahead to hug lilian.

    For the guys, it’s USD 20 per 5 seconds hug.

    Animals, you are prohibited to hug even if you have money.

    *lilian – you can count on me to “crowd control” your fans…

  5. Hugs to you Lilian. No, Mathew is not Vincent and its unfair to Mathew for anyone to say so. Vincent will always be with your family Lilian, in your thoughts and in your hearts.

  6. Awwwww….thanks all you guys and gals.
    Mike – You have said so much without making me yok ma. Thanks for that.
    Mrs B – You always have such comforting words.

  7. Time heals all wounds, yet scars remain. Scars sometimes hurt, but thats what the people around you are for. To help you as you bear your pain. Big hug to you, you’re one brave woman. 🙂

  8. My eyes filled with tears as i looked at this photo. The journey of grief may be long, but you all will never be alone…..Thanks for sharing your precious little Vincent with us,he’s so beautiful!! {{{HUGS}}}

  9. A BIG HUG to you….I used to feel sad whenever I read about things like this but now that I am a mother myself, it just tears me apart. It is only being at work that has stopped me from bursting out.

  10. Big hugs to you, Lillian. The picture brought tears to my eyes. Reminds me of the time when I almost lost my firstborn which now makes the tears unstoppable. TQ Vincent for making MMB happen & help people and ME to persevere & be strong in a good cause. U R ONE STRONG AND BRAVE LADY.

  11. I will not know what it feels like to lose a child and thus I will not even pretend to understand the depth of sorrow that a mum can face in this situation. No one can replace him, even with another kid, each is unto their own. Take heart, we are allowed our moments of sorrow, yet still the future will find moments to illicit a smile and a laugh from you. Take heart at the memory and cherish each and every moment you had with Vincent. I know this may not help but here’s a hug.

  12. I have two daughters and I can never imagine how it would feel like if I were to lose one of them. To say “I know how you feel” is an insult as only another mother grieving her child’s death would truly know what it feels like. However, I hope you stay strong and take comfort in the fact that your baby is no longer suffering and is now with god. Thank you so much for sharing the picture and your story. Sometimes when we get tired and frustrated with our children, we have to remember those who have lost their own to begin to appreciate them again.

    Lots of hugs to you and your family.

  13. As I read through your book which was published last year, it was apparent that you have done wonderful things for Vincent just by being with him through the pain, sufferings & happier times throughout his life.

    U r an inspiration to us mothers. Stay strong & big hug from me.

  14. hey!! take it easy!! after so many years and many more years to come, Vincent and Yongsen holds a very, very, very special place in our heart and our arms that no one will replace!!
    Think of those that’s around you, like darling hubby and your other four SONS!! You are all living and now is what matters most.
    Appreciate and enjoy people around you!!
    They loves you though some of them have funny(!!!) way to show you this!!
    I pledge my friendship and support to you just as how you gives yours to me since 08.08.03!!

    Cheers girl!!

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