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Someone finally ask me a question that I has been dying for people to ask me. “Why do you turn to Christianity from (previous faith)? So far, no one ever ask me a direct question like this probably because they think it is rude or probably they take for granted that they know (for e.g. some funny theories like God is calling, you are struck by lighting, you are tired of your old religion, you have nothing better to do, you just enjoy doing something different, etc).

I gave the following reasons over the IM but I feel I should elaborate further.

A) I want to find someone to blame
B) It is in English
C) My son, Vincent still lives

I am not joking when I said I want to find someone to put the blame on for those things that had happened to me. It is not like blaming God that He is wrong or bad. I merely have to find a good reason why I have to shoulder certain things whilst others don’t. And the explanation comes from being a Christian. That I, as a Christian, has to bear some of the burdens because God has made me tougher than others. Others jerks screwed up, I pick up the cheque. Simply put, I carry the karma of others. Fine with me because I can always turn to God when I myself am about to screw up too. As long as I believe in Jesus, I am secured that He will carry me through.

English and Bahasa Malaysia are the only two languages I can read. The Bible is in English. My first Bible is the above. I bought it from MPH, Mid Valley. I merely went to the promoter and ask her which Bible is the easiest to understand. She showed it to me and I was taken aback by the price. It is RM90+. Awww…mannnnn…for that amount of money, I can buy 3 paperbacks with the latest suspense thriller already. But I was the verge of breaking into pieces and I have nowhere else to turn to. I am against finding people to help me because I can bet 100% they don’t know how to help me because how often do you meet people who is taking care of a very ill child who is dying? So, I bought it, and start reading like one would read a storybook, from page 1 – Genesis : In the beginning…… Only problem is – the Bible is a very confusing book. Incest, mass slaughtering of babies, murders, killing own’s siblings, whoring and all sort of characters are in the Bible. And I go, damn, what is the matter with these people? It is only when I stumbled upon the New Testament that I finally hear THE WORD. (Bible has 4,000 yrs history. The New Testament starts from Jesus’s birth, 2,000+ ago.)

The most motivating factor that made me a Christian is the fact that we believe in resurrection. I don’t want my son to die and be born again as someone else – reincarnation. I am selfish, I want him to be there, up in Heaven.

Funnily, the persons whom I look up to before I change religion aren’t limited to Christians but also Muslims. I personally see how tabah/calm they are in adversities. If Allah makes them that calm and strong, Allah can make me like that too. (My Catholic church refers to God as Allah too, in our Bahasa Malaysia hymns. Yeap, we do sing songs in Bahasa Malaysia fyi.)

And that’s how I turn to Christianity. Because life was too hard and I need someone to take over. And He has taken over.

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P/S : I choose my church from the Yellow Pages. Thanks to Telekom Malaysia. Hahahaha. Will blog about that later.