MG asked me how I deal with my school going kids after hearing the kind of things Twinsmom’s friends go through.
5Xmom are you there? Got new topic for you to blog. Yoo Hoo… Can hear me or not? Yoo Hoo… Your telinga itchy adi or not? Can blog ah about exams and homework?
mumsgather | Email | Homepage | 02.23.05 – 1:16 pm |
Well, MG, I have two personalities. One was before I gave birth to Vincent. That kind of mom is long dead in me after I learnt how fragile life is. (I had met several moms whose school going children died in accidents. They are the most perfect moms with most perfect kids and had spent the most memorable time together.)
That ‘BEFORE’ kind of mom in me shouldn’t be allowed to exist in the first place. It is the kind where I practically dwell and live through my children’s lives. I spend lots and lots of time, making sure they excel in their studies. I was like an army-general (they are supposed to be mad and very strict, no?), making sure they stay ahead in leadership positions in class.
Damn, what kind of idiot was I? I remembered crying, (stupid woman!) when my eldest son failed to ‘melangkau’ to Standard 5. (at one time, children in Standard 3, age 9 yrs old can take one exam and leap to Standard 5). I was one of those brainless woman who hang around the school during exam and eagerly await to hear which topic, which chapter was in the exam papers. Fuck, it was as if I am the one taking the exam. Shart, it was as if, if my son failed to get the top ten positions, the world is going to end or something.
Marnnnn, this kind of pathetic moms are aplenty in school still. Don’t they have a life? Go back and iron your husband’s underwear or count the pubic hairs on the drain pipe! Yes, each time I drive by the school (which is often because I live next to the school now), I feel like going down and screamed at them to stop pestering their poor sons like that. Some actually stayed from Standard One to Six and move on to secondary school.
My dear husband will taunt me with things like, “People love their sons mah.”
My reply, “Yeah, love their sons? PKM, you think their sons enjoy their moms hanging around like some bitches on heat?”
OKlah, I dare not talk like that in person la. Or else I kena booted out of the house long time ago. Only in my mind. But something to that effect.
I mean, they are there as a group every single day and what do you expect when you put humans, especially women, together as a group? They get competitive. What else? After comparing how much their husbands earn, how many times they get screwed per week, how big their bust sizes are etc, they will start comparing their kids. And their school teachers. And when half a mark was miscalculated, they will turn ugly.
And the result? They will force more and more tuition on their kids. They forgot the meaning of living. They only see numbers and positions in class. I fell into that trap once. I will be
asking drilling my son to tell me so&so’s son got which position. Are you smarter than that stupid Ah Soh’s kid? How come you did not win that bitchy colleague (of mine) son?
Oh yeah, I made my kids lives miserable too. Because I have schedules and targets. I draw out timetable, prepare questions for them, plot examination questions likely to come up. Rotan them when they failed miserably when I had specifically told them to focus on certain things. Emotional blackmail them like, Look what you have done? I put in all my time for you and you disappointed me. I even torn and threw all my son’s UPSR past year exam papers into the dustbin in a fit of anger because he did not finish the papers as I ordered. (but he still get full As leh)
Oh boy, MG, your question make me naik api dy. But it is not your fault, I was wrong and I deserved to go to the kitchen now and eat the whole gallon of Haagen Dazs Green Tea icecream. And drink one mug Aik Cheong black coffee. Plus munching groundnuts and butter shortbread at midnight.
I shall continue part II of what kind of mom I am now, when I finished stuffing my face and grown a halo out of eating those foods.
Oh yeah, donch (borrowing from MrsT) anyone tell me that they love their kids and hence, want to make sure they study for their future. When a mom puts too much effort, too much time, too much gas into getting their kids to do something, expectations arise. And when expectations did not meet their targets, disappointment arises. And when disappointments arise, kids will be the brunt of the these evil women (like me once) vile abuse. Trust me, I have been there, done that.
P/S : Donch anyone dare to flame me because I am talking about myself, ok? If for some unknown reasons you feel as if I am poking on your conscience, just remember durian is my favourite fruit and my name rhymes too. Thorny on the outside, succulent inside but only connoisseur knows how to appreciate.
Smokey Hill photo taken during East Coast trip. Intentionally put up here to depict my smoking head. Also to show to Jason of http://procrastination.frens.net/