I am a professional……

Went to bookshop today. Noticed that our Malaysians are pretty dull in the area of reading. Only 3 4 sections are popular.

1) Housewives and women hoping to oil their husbands and in-laws crouch at the cookbook sections.

2) Housewives and mothers (i.e. those women who live in denial that they are housewives as well) hang around the buku kerja/workbooks used to torment their kids and drive ’em kids cuckoo.

3) Cheapskates who hang around magazines section reading free mags.

**added**

Oh ya, dumb people who believe in the books of the other person same name as me but with two L L? (Cis, I think if I print some books and put on the bookstores, people will also buy them. BTW, I seriously have many of her books, I accidentally packed and bring to my apartment and did not left it with my old house stuffs to be thrown into the fire. Anyone want? But old edition liao.)

Me? I usually act pandai (clever) go to computer books section. I had bought a few computer books before. Walau eh, the feeling of hanging around with pimply faced teenagers, nerdy chaps and smart looking computer whizs is worth every sen (usually hundred of ringgits though) of the books I bought (but hardly refer). Feel like so blardy clever like dat.

Today, I was buying books on photography. I bought 3 books which costs quite a bit. But I make sure when I belek-belek (browsing) through every one of them, I catch people’s attention. Like blocking the path or stretching out my hands far, far. Act like a peacok like that. Damn kembang….. Other women? They are buying alphabets books la, colouring books la, potty training la….Me? Reading about lenses and stuff wor (not that I understand).

*muahahaha* ‘Cos I am a professional.

Professional what?

The cashier asked me if I want to join member and get 20% discount from the books I bought. I asked her will the member card cost more than the discounts. No wor, so I quickly grabbed a form and fill-in lor. It was a blardy long queue. All eyes are on Ah Soh filling in form.

Name : Chan LiUlian
IC : 640907-07-XXXX
bla bla bla

CB! KNN! Occupation! WTF! Just need to tick only. Cool, woman.
The pen was damn heavy. I want to tick ‘Housewife’ but I cannot drag my hand there. I want to use ‘Others’ but need to specify wor. So? I tick……..

tick……..

Professional

as in professional liar and professional kay poh chee (busybody) and professional houlian (boastful).

Interests? Choose and tick.
Cooking (tiuuu la, I don’t need any more cookbook la, I am already the best cook)
Gardening (wait until I 90 years old ok?)
So, I ticked – multimedia, graphic design, advertising (self)

Oh dear, I committed so many lies in one day. Hope my confessions here clear my kesalahan-kesalahan.

On an unrelated post

I boo-hoo-hoo at church this evening ‘cos the psalm (like a pantun) is the same one read at Vincent’s funeral. Really hingus meleleh that type but I was sitting so in front, so let it dripped into my mouth lor. Salty wor.

Came back home and someone had made me laughed so loud till I peed in my pants and fell off the chair. Read this:

A proud Penang mom wit a lot of time ta spare n thoughts ta share if you gots a paper stack. Wizzy n strong, kind n cruel, stoked n sad, lov’n n straight trippin’ compassionate n couldn’t care less at tha same time too. All these is true qualities everyone possess but not everyone dizzy ta shizzow tha bad side motha fucka.

Go to Gizoogle, type in your URL, in my case, http://chanlilian.net. You are promised a blardy good laugh. Try reading this loud:

I do not give tha blogga n shot calla commentors tha chance ta taunt me . Listen to how a motherfucker flow shit. Say what they like, I stand by what I had commented n will motherfucka return ta counta-explain

Oh dear, do I have such foul mouth? BTW, please leave your comment first before clicking the URL or else you will be laughing too hard and cannot breathe and dropped dead, leaving me with no comments to treasure.

Have a good weekend to all!

(Flame retardant : Don’t anyone dare flame me for looking down at others for not reading ok? I am not rich but enough money to buy cheap books to read and improve. I am not highly educated and most probably all of you are more educated than me. And those foul languages in quote section are NOT written by me but the contents are from my earlier blog.)