It is another Sunday preachy blog today.
I was with someone today and he told me in a very hurt voice that, “not everyone good, some people so bad.”
Like a mother comforting her child, I told him that the world is like this. But he is not a child. It involves a deeper hurt. So, what more can I tell him? I have to agree with him.
“Yes, there are some people whom we thought we can rely on and they will be the one that hurt us most. People whom we look up to, depend on and even love and they are the ones likely to hurt us most. But we still have Jesus, right? And a few good people, right?”
He is strong in his faith and can relates to what I said. And anyone who do not believe in God, has to know this person I was talking to, to believe there is God.
When I think about his problems, I reflected back on my grouses. Recently, I had a chat with a wise one about how tired I am of giving. I do not mind doing it but after a while, I feel drained and being taken for granted. The wise one told me that it is like that. We had a good talk and I felt better. But, within the next day, when I heard these questions,
“When was the last time you help …..”
“When was the last time you give ……”
“When was the last time you …..”
(I have intentionally leave blank the things because I do not want the persons mentioned to feel that we should pity them.)
I wanted to stand up and scream, “F.U. I had been doing that all the time! And I want to stop doing it NOW! Leave me alone! Others think if they just drop a few bucks and they had fulfilled all the ‘helpful’ things. NO!!! Life is not like that. We have to give our time, our love, our frustrations, all of ourselves to make a change. To make life less miserable for others.”
But, the heart tugs and yes, I am going to go back to my old kpc business. I had cleared up the mess on my computer table, arranged all the books into the shelf. And today onwards, I am going to send out my PICU books. I am going to concentrate on reaching out to the ill children parents. Baby Ryan’s death did demoralise me but I cannot allow it to stop my own baby Vincent’s legacy.
Don’t worry… I am still blogging.
P/S : My webhost server was down this morning. Apologies.