It is another Sunday preachy blog today.
I was with someone today and he told me in a very hurt voice that, “not everyone good, some people so bad.”
Like a mother comforting her child, I told him that the world is like this. But he is not a child. It involves a deeper hurt. So, what more can I tell him? I have to agree with him.
“Yes, there are some people whom we thought we can rely on and they will be the one that hurt us most. People whom we look up to, depend on and even love and they are the ones likely to hurt us most. But we still have Jesus, right? And a few good people, right?”
He is strong in his faith and can relates to what I said. And anyone who do not believe in God, has to know this person I was talking to, to believe there is God.
When I think about his problems, I reflected back on my grouses. Recently, I had a chat with a wise one about how tired I am of giving. I do not mind doing it but after a while, I feel drained and being taken for granted. The wise one told me that it is like that. We had a good talk and I felt better. But, within the next day, when I heard these questions,
“When was the last time you help …..”
“When was the last time you give ……”
“When was the last time you …..”
(I have intentionally leave blank the things because I do not want the persons mentioned to feel that we should pity them.)
I wanted to stand up and scream, “F.U. I had been doing that all the time! And I want to stop doing it NOW! Leave me alone! Others think if they just drop a few bucks and they had fulfilled all the ‘helpful’ things. NO!!! Life is not like that. We have to give our time, our love, our frustrations, all of ourselves to make a change. To make life less miserable for others.”
But, the heart tugs and yes, I am going to go back to my old kpc business. I had cleared up the mess on my computer table, arranged all the books into the shelf. And today onwards, I am going to send out my PICU books. I am going to concentrate on reaching out to the ill children parents. Baby Ryan’s death did demoralise me but I cannot allow it to stop my own baby Vincent’s legacy.
Don’t worry… I am still blogging.
P/S : My webhost server was down this morning. Apologies.
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3:54 pm on March 6th, 2005 1
i think giving is good but one should not give too much, to the extent that it drains you of your energy and sanity.
4:14 pm on March 6th, 2005 2
Yeah Munkit, that is exactly why I whine and whine. Bcos I am trying to find a balance, a gray line.
4:24 pm on March 6th, 2005 3
Err…did I give you back?
6:31 pm on March 6th, 2005 4
I think everyone in the city also bad lor, seldom we will meet kind ppl one.
6:57 pm on March 6th, 2005 5
Give & take is part and parcel in our lives.If u think u’ve been giving too much & feel exhausted,maybe u shld have a break & enjoy taking from others once in a while(if & only if there’s other ppl giving as well).
8:17 pm on March 6th, 2005 6
“We have to give our time, our love, our frustrations, all of ourselves to make a change. To make life less miserable for others.”
Very true indeed. I am tired also but she never know about it. I am tired of trying to be outspoken, to be active, but I got no choice.
9:28 pm on March 6th, 2005 7
Hey.. Lilian,
I’ve always said.. i wanna volunteer this.. i wanna volunteer that.. but never actually do it.. coz’ it takes alot of commitment.. and will-power for one to make such sacrifices.. and i’m not good in making them..
This is what i think.. i think.. you are a wonderful person…. someone who is not selfish.. and wanna try and help as much as you can.. BUT .. you need your “ME” time too.. and because you’ve always been the giving party.. after a while… it is quite draining.. and then some silly ppl gotta come up .. and ask some silly questions.. and then you tell yerself.. hmmmmmmmm…. wat the F*** … wat did i not do..????? And you kinda got affected by those questions.. WHICH .. you should not.. but being human.. OF COURSE.. cannot NOT get affected lah.. !!!
Ok.. summary.. do wat you feel right ONLY for yourself.. and your family.. no need to answer to anyone!! My 2 cents only ok..
11:02 pm on March 6th, 2005 8
Mrs T - heeheehee, I love it when you show your ‘other’ side. Thanks!
Wei Jason - I enuff farn liao, you somemore kah liu ah?
tEo - Tks
MrKiasu - I read Blaberella’s blog and found something thought provoking.
Twinsmom - You come back here, you owe me alot. Give back quickly! You even have almost 2 years old email in your blog to prove it. Gee, why nowadays I don’t write with so much passion anymore? If I get another Twinsmom email like that now, probably, I will send to inbox, pending and later forget. That’s why I am worried about myself lor.
1:37 am on March 7th, 2005 9
Haha…No ah!
sorry luuu.
1:47 am on March 7th, 2005 10
hehehe…you can forward this kind of mail to me mah…
2:23 am on March 7th, 2005 11
My oh my … i must say i am impressed! …. with your blog i mean (what were you thinking?) its my 1st visits here and i am already beginning to adores you
(no faulty english here hor ? see i can do it one! )
3:08 am on March 7th, 2005 12
Wingz - Oi, you lafu one time enap la. Don’t fall too deep, no one can saves you. Suddenly need dictionary to read yingrish pulak.
Twinsmom - You will, you will. Until you end up like me and find another sui yee to forward.
Jason - kacau only la, dun worry, nothing is too hard for me.
4:33 am on March 7th, 2005 13
O-o …!! my “other side”..??? hehhehee!!!
10:51 am on March 7th, 2005 14
any sui-yee, if you want to bring hope and joy to others, please register your name now (twinsmom behide the desk holding a electric flyswatter pak-wo-ying).
12:13 pm on March 7th, 2005 15
Twinsmom - Jason is here to register for sui yee. *Grins*
3:15 pm on March 7th, 2005 16
jason, you know how to answer “why my breastmilk not enough for my baby” “how come my MIL so like tht” etc. of Qs or not?
5:04 pm on March 7th, 2005 17
twinsmom & lil - volunteer ’sui yee’ here. Wanna fish me out? ;P