I posted something at MG’s comments board but the damn internet censored it! I was having some older, wicked, women devilish talk with a bunch of married women about hooking up with a younger man.
(OK, that lines on top are meant to attract PPS’s traffic, the blurb.)
Now, first of all, the little voice in my heart says:
In all the years I started this (grief) group, I had never felt as blue as now. Sometimes, those emails that you have all sent? I dare not even read it. I saw (the 2 mth old baby) photo and I broke down. I do not know what is wrong with me so I keep on pushing my humour, more and more. I do not know if it is a good thing or bad. Sort of a person turning alchoholic or something (blogaholic?), I decided to venture into a new world, mixing with ‘normal’ people to avoid my own inner pain.
OK, I am not asking for anyone’s sympathy. Just that I have to clarify these as my blog is read by many and I do not want to be misunderstood. The above is an excerpt that I had just mailed to my grief support group. Now, back to the main story……
MG was telling the SYTs to marry a man at least 5 years older than a girl. That’s how the older women/younger men talks start. MrsT said her husband is 8 years younger than her. And some of the women agreed that after some years, the men seems to stay young and the women older. Don’t miss MG’s comment board, ok? Some famous blogger is quoted……*wink*
If there is anyone who is in a dilemma about younger man/older woman, it is me. Like they say, love is blind. In my case, love is totally blind. I married an OLDER man, 4 years older than me. But he is well, young looking. KS can attest to that? How old do you think my atm looks? Late thirties? I had been in many awkward situations where people are actually waiting for my husband when he is already standing right there. Unless I say ‘THIS IS MY HUSBAND, WHOM I MARRIED’ no one will guess. *sigh*
I want to ask MrsT if is fun to be married to a man 8 years younger than her. Because it is certainly not nice for me exteriorly when internally, the hormonal older man rules! LOL! I am a mother to my husband. Ewwwss…..Or an older sister….. Shitty marn. And people may thinks I digs younger men.
Anyhow, with my durian thorns (and now, SKII), I do not care at all lah. But once, on my 16th wedding anniversary, I have the bad luck of bumping into my ex-bf. I hate it how men seems to grow old slower than woman. He looks still the same and yikes, he must be relieved that he did not marry me. LOL! But at least I have bigger cars, houses, more kids and richer husband than he is now. (4 vs 1)
So, now I better put more MSG into my atm’s food so that he can go bald or something. In order to make him look old and I feel young. *muahahaha*
So, SYTs, leng luis, Ah Lian, Ah Hua sekalian, remember? If you want to find a man to marry, find someone at least TEN years older than you. Or even better, 20-30 years older. That way, you have a better chance of marrying twice. Hahaha. Once he kicked the bucket, you sapu all the harta-benda (properties) and re-marry a stud. Woo hoo!
And all the lek chai (clever boys), never marry a girl that is the same age as you. Or older than you. Otherwise, you will be following your cheh-cheh (older sister) or even worse mommy around in a few years time. Hahahaha. I tell ya, it must be damn malu-fying. (But in reality, this is not the case of us married women ‘cos we know how to menambat hati jantan (tie the male’s heart). hahahaha. Gimme a five, ladies!)
Anyone married to an older woman? Or a much, much older husband? Wanna share your stories? Comments, please.
Wow when i tried to post comment last night there wasn’t so many.Great topic my thoughts on this age issue is it really depends on the two ppl involved.
As for myself my gf and i talk often about finding partners hehe mostly joke about it.But i honestly couldn’t date a guy ten yrs older then myself bcoz i think at that age a aussie guy would be too boring n lazy .I do not act my age as i play xbox ps2 , roller blade basketball.Actually aussie guys age n go grey ,just look older then aussie women so thats good hehe.
Actually my hubby same age with me.Very early i wanna find the hubby same age with me so can get a baby in dragon year which are also same with us.
Me got young looking face but my hubby look older compare with me. His collegue dun beleive i was same age with him. Someone also ask me whether my son was my little brother (that time i got twins in 6 mth old), and some said i look like a study student.
p/s : lilian i put on the blogger comment liao, see whether you can comment or not?
i think there is a few ways all this can be looked at, most of society seems to cast judgements about a woman marrying a younger guy. Most people know that a) a woman usually outlives her husband if they are similar ages b) a woman reaches her sexual peak at 40, a man reaches his at 18 or so, in terms of developmental stages a woman matures emotionally faster than a male (but what about other areas of life, whom of which there are many?)
but my question is how do you determine someone’s maturity? is it their age, their life experience, their spirituality, their values, their upbringing, have they travellled?, what traumas or hardships have they endured, their financial security? All of these things are valid and contribute.
How often do opinions and attitudes from others jade our view of these things. people are so different.
an example;
I know these two brothers one is 21 the other is 28, but it seems the 21 year old is more mature in some ways the 28 yr old is more financially stable-but the 21 year has priorities spiritually that are more similar to mine.
Maybe this is old fashioned but I want a man who can stand up to me, who wants to see me at my best. there is nothing worse than a husband who allows his wife to dominate him. Maybe in the bedroom that could be fun, but a man who takes the lead and who has some initiative is very appealing indeed.Someone who values a woman’s strength.
Lets face it some men are very insecure and are threatened by a woman’s sense of herself.
After many months of thinking about this I’m not convinced that a ten year age gap is alot, what numbers sound like or look like as a gap is not enough to convince me that a marriage with the woman being older either won’t work unless you apply it to the couple individual in question.
the only danger I see is that when you are in love often you are quite blind to reality, you can’t see the roses for the trees 🙂
If you want to find a man to marry, find someone at least TEN years YOUNGER than you. Or even better, 20-30 years younger. Men die earlier than women
That way, you’ll never be a widow.