People, go check out something I said in the parenting magazine Mother & Baby, March 2005 issue, page 58. It is my views regarding antenatal testing. I said “It was never an option for me.”
The article is pretty mild because it is for public reading. So, I hope to share some of my very stern stand on the issues of abortion. I am against abortion, no matter at what stage or for whatever reason. Unless the mother’s life is threaten. Otherwise, I don’t see any other reason to do it.
However, it is a fact that many women are still going for abortions with mere excuse that they are just ‘washing’ their womb. WTF! Washing indeed. Now, don’t get me wrong, I do not hate these women. I sympathise with them. I know someone close to me who is ignorant and never think twice about all her wanted pregnancies. She can’t afford financially and physically. She wasn’t counselled on birth control so what do you expect her to do? In this case, I can only assure her that whatever have been done, have been done. Sometimes,she will wonder if all her hardship is a punishment from the one up there. What can I tell her but – God doesn’t keep accounts so you have time to make good your mistakes. Just don’t do it anymore.
Then, there are many admirable women whom I know through my grief support who hold on to their pregnancies eventhough they knew their babies cannot survive much longer or are severely deformed. Some babies developed without a brain. These women carried through their pregnancies till it is self-terminated. They held their baby, gave the baby a proper funeral and move on to another chapter of their lives.
However, there are also some people I know that drove me cuckcoo with the way they see a pregnancy. Got too many girls? Another baby girl? Terminate it. They also never hesitate to terminate a pregnancy because of some unconfirmed fear that the baby will be handicapped. One of them wanted to terminate a pregnancy and went to a few established ob-gyns, got rejected and was searching for a backyard one to do the job. Through some intervention, I showed a middle person, my pregnancy book and explained that the baby in the womb is already having a heart and limbs.
One of my distant cousin committed suicide in her teenage years due to an unwanted pregnancy. I feel that this is such a tragedy! My uncle got very ill after her death and died not long after. Sometimes, I try to put myself in the shoes of a parent with a son or daugther who has gotten pregnant accidentally. Maybe I am very idealistic but I know that I would want a grandchild, even if the baby is illegitimate. Babies are all so adorable so it doesn’t matter where they come from. And if they are born without a proper home, there will be lots of people willing to adopt the babies.
It will be selfish if say, a young girl wanted to do away with her pregnancy so that her studies, future, image are not affected. If she has gotten herself into it, I think it is only right that she solved the problem, hopefully with helpful and supportive people. The parents of course, should not put their own selfishness like image, reputation above the life of a baby.
Of course, I hope and pray that my kids will be able to grow up with a proper religious foundation of no pre-marital sex and definitely, no abortion. It is a big challenge to me as a mother but I shall try to put my faith into this.
Back to the article, the reason I was against any form of pre-natal testing is because I had told my ob-gynae that I do not care if my baby has any disabilities or whatever. It is mine, a gift from God, and therefore, I will accept it. Sadly, many women still opt for pre-natal testing for Down Syndrome for e.g. If they found out that the baby has a risk of getting Down Syndrome, they think they have the upper hand to decide the future of the baby – by killing it.
My strong contention is not entirely my own foolishness. I had mingled with many mothers of special children and I do not see what is so different about having special children except that it involves more work and bigger challenges. They deserve to live if they can survive in this world. I had also attended a doctors’ seminar (as a guest la) where our country top ob-gynae talked to the nurses on the risk of pre-natal testing. There were 200 of us women in the room and he said that if everyone of us were to take the test, two babies will have to be terminated. And out of these two, maybe they may not be entirely ‘rejected’ but still can live a normal life. Isn’t that so cruel?
He earned my highest respect when he quoted our Rukun Negara, Kepercayaan Kepada Tuhan. It is all God’s will. We have to accept and carry it through. Say NO to abortion.
(Flame retardant – Yeah, yeah, I know….I am self-uprighteous, I am cocky, I am vain, I am too idealistic, I am a bitch. Whatever la.. Think twice before you screw?)
Another interesting note : We actually have couples who sued their doctors because the doctors did not detect that the baby is ‘something wrong’ when pregnant and poor doctors have to tangggung (pay) for the maintenance of the child. Oh boy, I do not know how to feel for these couples. My sympathy, support or tell them to go kill themselves to solve their own miseries? In my personal opionions, this is just so, so wrong.
5xmom quotes : It is easier to bring a baby into this world than to carry the guilt of abortion.
To all those women whom have done it, I extend my understanding and hope that they are able to come to terms with their actions.