*Caution : Boring ahead. This is a whiney, ranting post.*
Story 1 – My cut
Girls go to beauty salon to do their hair like rebonding, dyeing, perming, steaming etc. Guys, not gays, go to barber to cut their hair. Cool 5xmom? Just ‘cut hair’ minus any gender references. Only RM23, 4 times a year.
I was nodding off because the chatters around me do not interest me. You knowlah, housewives talk. So, boink, boink, boink, the head kept dropping off after too many Women’s Day (Australia), Glamour (UK) and Time magazines. Wish I have a Compaq like the Frozen Lily, then, maybe I can do blogging while waiting.
When it is my turn, the lady does not need to even ask me what style or how short/long I want. I usually surrender my whole head to the hairdresser. Fai si waste gas (wasting my breath)because no one can tame my hair because it is that curly.
After more shut eye and day dreaming, she is finished with my head. And then came the big blow. One auntie of about 65yrs old came in with her old man. She walked straight to me and pointed so close to my head. I thought I had grown a horn or something after all my bitch blogs about abortion and gay issues. But TNS, she said she wanted to cut like my style! I wish I am bold enough to stand up and scream, Auntie ah, can you look into the mirror and take a look at yourself? Oh puhleez, I am in a red t-shirt and blue jeans and you are in a flowery, loose, grey blouse typical of our grandmother. My hair is shiny, black and natural wavy and your gray hair is all white, like straws and permed.
Now, wait, I am not being disrespectful to old people. Old people loves me. I am such a dear, sweet woman. But I don’t deserve this. Pleeeeassseee….
Came back home, happily blogging this (half way) and the ang (hubby) came out from the room, after his nap and asked,
“You know where is my wife or not ha?”
After being compared with a 65yrs old auntie, I dare not probe if that is a compliment from him or a perli (sarcasm). I just dare not find out. *now, where is my SKII? anyone got Marie France number?*
Story Two – MYKAD application
Earlier in the day, we went to do our MyKad (ID card). It goes like this.
Need to bring : One cute, youngish looking hubby and one even cuter toddler.
Take number. SYT in tudung asked atm, “ei, hari itu bukan baru you datang?” (didn’t you just come the other day?) (5xmom was far away from counter but can hear)
5xmom : *muttering in her breath* Diusss, Penang has at least a few hundred thousands citizens and you still remember him!!!!????? OI!!!! Hari ini bini ada kat sini tau (wife here, you know?) Nak kena sumbat dengan cabai ke? (cannot translate, vulgar)
We waited. And waited. Got number 1244, now serving 1156. The SYT told atm that photo taking is very fast, so better wait. Stomach grumbling. 5xmom chasing toddler who are socialising with everyone. 5xdad took a comfy seat near the counter buaya-socialising. After 25 mins. of waiting, another long hair SYT told hubby, ‘Eleh, computer rosak lah, tak boleh process’ (system down) We went for breakfast. Came back, still rosak and long hair SYT made announcement. Atm took the phone number and off we went shopping. Caling intermittently to see if computer is working again.
Return to the IC office and whoooooossssshhhh….. Chan Lilian, Chan Lilian being called loudly by the burly officer. Alamak!!!!!! Like a convict, I sat down, panting, sweaty and heavy breathing after 2 flights of stairs carrying toddler and snap, snap, snap. Photo taken. And until the day I die, I am going to be stuck with a photo of a convict. Why la can’t they have a better photo taking? Why la we always look so ugly in our identity cards? Why oh why? Take for e.g. when I was a SYT at 17 years old, I carry a nerdy 12 years old girl photo. When I am 40 years, I carry a pregnant, big nose 28 years old photo. And when I am 90 years old, I will be carrying a convict-lookalike 41 years old photo.