I am going to touch on a few marriages of people I know. It is not meant to gossip but rather see if any of us can get any enlightment from their examples. I will only touch on what I see and hear and not on speculations. These are real stories of real people, not some Hollywood stuff or Dear Thelma-copycats. Only the names are changed.
Story One is about Ben and Jess. Ben and Jess are the hip and happening couple around town with 2 kids. Jess is a rich businesswoman with gleaming car and driver and jet-setting around the world. Whilst, Ben is handsome, babe-magnet but a very faithful and loving husband. I knew Ben for several years and not once during my acquaintance with him, has he shown any unfaithfulness to Jess. Ben is in marketing and hence had all the opportunity to fool around. But not once did he do that. Ben is in senior management but if compared to Jess, is several rung lower in terms of achievement.
Happily married like those ducks in the photo? Contended and always together. Then, one day, after I had lost touch with Ben for 2 years, I had the shock of my life. I found Ben in my neighbourhood (which is more on the ulu side of Penang) holding hands with a young girl with long, long hair. My heart dropped. My confidence in men shattered. I saw Ben with the girl a few more times.
Of course, I did not meddle into their business! I did not show my face to Ben nor tell Jess. You think I sei pat phor ah? (busy-body) Then, not long after Vincent died, Ben heard about it and send me a condolence email. Aha…..inspite of my grief, my sei pat phor mind was working also. It so happened that I got an email forward using the real name of Ben and the mail is from Daily Inspiration (some Christian based encouragement mail) about treasuring their loved ones and children. I forwarded it to Ben with the hope of sending him a message. I don’t know if it works or not but want to know what happened to Ben and Jess today?
Jess is now a SAHM, doing voluntary work helping handicapped children. They are still together. Happily married. Ben is a much happier man now compared to the times when he was two timing. (I heard about him being screwed up at one point through another friend.)
Moral of the story : A wife cannot have bigger balls than the husband. Some compromise has to be found in a marriage like that. Otherwise, the couple will go separate ways. Ben and Jess probably survived their marriage because they went through some hard times earlier before they married (details I cannot reveal). Another factor is they are both God-loving people.