SE630 phone showing battery extremely low. 5xmom frantically punched the buttons.
5xmom : Tiuss la, tyre pamcit (punctured)
Man : You wearing skirt?
5xmom : Hah? (brain blur ‘cos today puasa, no coffee, no food at noon)
Man : Go and lift up the skirt and stop traffic.
5xmom : CBlar, I got no mood to siao (joke) with you. I got two grouchy sons in the car, and another poor guy waiting for me outside the home (just back from school).
Man : Like that ah? Lemme think
5xmom : Faster lah, otherwise, I drive all the way home ok? Let the axle terus patah (broken).
5xmom’s fantasies : Along came a sleek black Mercedes. Tall 6′ 2″, well-built, moustache, total bald, dark, handsome taukey (preferably a widower), wind down the heavily tinted, back window.
SBM : Miss, you got a flat tyre? Need some help?
5xmom : *pretending breathless and protrude tongue ala Xiaxue* Err…yes, puhleeeeez (in squeaky voice).
SBM : *give instruction to driver* Dey, you go and change the tyre for the sweet lady, take her kids home and take the rest of the day off.
And 5xmom and SBM got on the sbm and rode to eternity. Never need to blog anymore because SBM and 5xmom are going to be telling each other their life stories, whispering into each other ears, drinking champagne and eating strawberries. *sigh*
NOW, THE REALITY:
5xdad (the man lar) : Tell you what, you leave the car by the road side. I call Nazri (5xdad regular taxi fren) and see if he is around town.
5xmom : Die lah, I only have RM5 in the wallet. Your son root canal used up RM350. I no money how to call taxi!!!!
Impatient, 5xmom decided to stand ala Malboro man behind her Perdana. Instead of Malboro, she held her SE630 with almost no battery. Thank God, one taxi came by. 5xmom scrimped and searched the car for spare changes and found RM5 in coins. Woohoo! (oh ya, Nazri the taximan missed ferrying the celebrity 5xmom ‘cos she sped home on the first available taxi paying RM6 in notes and coins).
So, Penangites, if you see a Perdana, car registration PEM XXXX parked illegally outside St. George’s girls school in Macalister Road, help to push it into the drain, ok? Make it a total wreck for me? Hopefully, I get to ride a sleek black mercedes someday.