Rated : Highly sensitive.
Aha! I am going to write about no no at funerals. Keep my fingers, thumbs and toes crossed. God bless and protect me. I am merely stating my own experiences and please God, tell all the others to stay away so that they don’t get provoked. If they like being provoke, please tell them to go to Xiaxue and add on to her 261, and counting, comments.
Once I went to my husband’s eldest sister’s husband’s funeral. He died after suffering from Parkinson disease. He was converted on his last few days and had been following Christ when he was well. He is a great guy, the head of the family after my parents-in-laws passed away. Therefore, I have great respect for sis & bro -in-law.
But at the funeral wake, I was appalled by what the church leader said. Here is a great man, famous all over Air Itam town for his roasted pork. And the pastor said….Yesterday, my friend’s dog died. He was very sad and gave the dog a proper funeral yadda yadda yadda. Then more yadda yadda yadda, when a person died, the body is like a piece of ‘char thau’ (log of dead wood) yadda yadda yadda.
Needless to say, I wasn’t a Christian then and have absolutely no desire to be one, ever! OMG (I can curse OMG last time, ok?) how can you bring up a dog and a log to compare to this great man!!!! Goodness, the whole family are still reeling with disorientation because the old gentleman converted to Christianity just a few days ago!
Then, fast forward to my own son’s funeral. I shall not quote who said this.
“Your son is young. They (undertaker) will not nail the coffin. Very fast only, he (Vincent) will be reborn.”
Godammit! (again, I wasn’t a Christian yet, remember?) Are you trying to tell me that my son, whom is going to be burnt in the incinerator soon is going to open the coffin top and walk out, just like that! Go find a new mommy and end of story? Fuck off, if you do not know what to say, just shaddap! Have you ever been dead? Have your son ever been dead? Are you some sort of magicwoman whom had travelled between heaven and hell, nirvana and earth?
Another sentence that I am highly allergic to, a favourite in church, is:
“Don’t cry. He is in a better place now.”
Oh yeah, like hell, I can believe your words. You think my tears got tap head to turn on and off ah? How do you know he is in a better place? Because your ‘book’ said so?
(Of course, I only trust two persons words, i.e. Vincent’s nurse from India and his doctor whom had seen him gone through the ordeal in the hospital and whom are Orthodox and Catholics respectively to give me that assurances on resurrection and Heaven. And I converted to Catholicism on my own free will a year later and now believe in what I believe now. God bless them. Amen.)
So, the no no at funerals? Don’t say anything. Keep the mouth shut, open your arms and heart instead, give the family your touch, hugs and tears. And yeah, wear black.
Finally, my forum for bereaved parents is up. MyHealingPath Pray for us (bereaved parents) that we will find our healing.