In Part 1, several guys whom had been married longer than me shared some humbling and enlightening thoughts. I will not analyse the feedbacks. Feel free to read through their comments.
Many individuals, dating couples and newly married couples may think that LOVE will be the answer. But in my opinion, love is the culprit. Women tend to measure how well a marriage is going by using ‘love’ as the yardstick. Unfortunately, ‘love’ can be a puzzling and confusing thing.
In any disagreements, women probably will end with the conclusion that all these quarrels, squabbles, misunderstandings, neglects etc etc is due to ‘You love me less/no more/very little/etc etc.
The marriage is greatly put the test when there is a critical illness in the family, like what my son went through and even more when there is a death in one of the children. I know at least 3 marriages broke up because of these stresses. Two bereaved fathers (my own relative and an ex-employer messed up the marriage by jumping from affairs to affairs.) Mine pull through, not owing to love alone but I would say, matured thinking, discipline and commitment.
Then, love can easily be manipulated too. Let’s admit that each spouse can easily fall in love with a third party. It happens all the time. So, it is back to discipline on the individual to stay away from the fire.
So, my conclusion is – love alone will not hold a marriage. Routine, responsibility, commitment, humour, tolerance, communication, discipline, children (ideally), common goals, respect and a never give up attitude. Well, aren’t all these BORING stuffs? Yeah, and that’s what marriage is all about. Therefore, don’t jump into a marriage with fairy tale expectations because one is gonna be real disappointed and will call it quits as soon as the honeymoon is over.
Oh ya, what about sex, finance, in-laws? Hahaha, those are marriage threats. Then, what are things that can spice up marriages? Urgggh…this will never end.