Actually, what prompted me to write more about myself is Venus’s blog about Restrictions. Venus or JuJu as her friends fondly call her is 19 years old and have written many well-thought out postings.
i am 19, going on 20 🙂 i personally feel it is crucial for parents to take note of their children’s general attitude/personalities and work towards bonding with him/her.
I would say the teenage years of bonding would be of utmost difficult and yet, most important. or you shall lose her when he/she has finally grown up. (just a thought)
i’ve noticed that the Truth lies in the fact that during our teenage years, we were once an Extreme Rebel.
we throw hurtful words, without considering the concequences, to our parents and loved ones, who are trying to be in a position to Guide us to the supposedly “right” route
This has profound effects on me, both as a girl Venus’s age and now, as a parent to my teenage sons. Let’s talk about the girl stage. I only have one parent as a child and the bonding with my mom was the traditional Chinese way. Hence, I benefitted in being independent.
At Venus’s age, I had been an independent person, working for my own survival. I lived with my mom at my sister’s place as mom was helping to take care of my nephew and nieces. Even at that age, I hate relying on my bro-in-law for shelter and food. Hence, I moved out on my own after my 21st birthday.
I remember once when I was too broke and asked for advance pay. The Financial Controller (paymaster) wanted to take out some money from his pocket to lend to me as he said it takes a lot of red-tape to apply for advance pay. I refused borrowing money from him (ala Erin Brockovich , though that movie hasn’t materialise yet) and went on starvation instead. Of course, if you are a girl at around that age, you can easily get free lunches and dinners if you just flutter eyelids or something.
Now, when I look back, I asked myself if I still have that independent streak in me. Do I have the courage to strike out on my own if say some ‘tung kwa tau foo’ (unfortunate events)happens? I know I would. Many women had been trapped in a bad marriage because they are afraid of not being able to survive on their own. Recently, I heard of many cases and hence, these thoughts linger.
I suppose if each of us look real hard, after putting aside our roles as wives, mothers and daughters, we would find a real self that we had, once upon a time.
(to be continued)