The Exs encounters

Tell me. Do you have an ex or several exs that you do not keep in touch with? Ex as in ex-boyfriend/girlfriend, husband/wife or someone that has gone deeper in a relationship than those casual, platonic friends?

Surely most of us do. If you are too young to have any exs, just read on. Probably, you may learn a thing or two.

For some mysterious reasons, these encounters are ALWAYS AT THE WRONG TIME! On bad hair days, dressed in pyjamas days or simply, not the right time.

Take for e.g. today’s encounter. My #2 son wanted me to drop him at his friend’s place. So, I drag #3 and toddler along. Dressed in a grey, male, crew cut, Pierre Cardin RM13.90 t-shirt which I usually wear as pyjamas and a pair of jeans, sans make-up, gray hair and all I trudged out with my battalion. Hair also forget to comb.

It is a weekday so I thought it may be nice to bring the younger two boys to Tesco for some Mattel Matchbox toy cars, playground and McDonalds since we are already in the car.

But gosh, of all the people in the world, he has to be there. OMG, I hate bumping into ex. The one that I would have married if he had not been so much of a mama’s boy. The one I ditched in Perhentian Island, 20 years ago! OMG, OMG, what am I to do? I saw him from the corner of my eye but, but, but….

I play blind! I treat McD menu board as the most interesting screen! I dare not turn my head eventhough my toddler is running away. I ordered take-away eventhough we had wanted to eat in.

No way am I going to say ‘Hi’ to an ex when I am looking like I just stepped out of bed! Gosh, what is he thinking?

a) “Mammamia! Thank Kun Yam Pou Sat (Goddess of Mercy) we broke off?”
b) “Awwww, why aren’t we together?”

Hehheh, 5xmom has bigger balls than that. Self-chants. Stand straight, girl. Chest out, tummy in, stand tall. Make him bite his own tongue that he did not get you. Make him envy that his wife only produces two kids for him but my atm gave me four sons *muahahaha* His mom would have so loved me for producing so many heirs. Hey, my atm’s car (and everything else) is bigger than yours. My atm’s career (and everything else) is higher than yours. Go weep, go knock your head on the wall becaused I ditched you, not you ditched me. Nyek, nyek, nyek.

*Chinese opera music (motivating tune) turned into Telenovela Latin Amerika music (seductive tune)* After all the self-motivation, I thought I am going to turn my back and say ‘hi’ in the sexiest voice. (chest jiggles a bit, lips pouting, eyes alluring) I even phrased my opening lines. “Oh hi, J, how are you? Where are you attached to now? What? You are still an ac*****t? What happened to your dreams to make it BIG? Me? Oh, I am a blogger in Malaysia, you dunno meh? You never google chan lilian to find out about me before meh?”

What happen next? To be continue…..when I am in the mood to wax lyrical about exs (hey, don’t mix the three alphabets ok?)

13 thoughts on “The Exs encounters

  1. Errmm… my s ex ohhh, err i mean my exs ah? Just one la. Recognised her frm behind yelled out her name. She turned back. My jaw dropped!! Stomach looks like baloon liao. Just say hi & a very short catch up, updates & bye.

  2. hi 5xmom,
    u know what…i just wrote about my ex in my blog…it was really depressing…& here u are making it sound so…funny!!! thank you 5xmom.

    p/s thanks for visiting my blog…still trying to figure out what “flickr” means…

  3. hoho I have one ex too which I will always hope of not meeting her ever again. She is in the same college right now with me and can’t stop calling me if she had problem. I just have to direct her to my other friend to settle it. Leave me alooonneee… I need a free man life here. hohoo

    So, what I did to avoid her is, delete her phone number from my phone (I am planning to change number after graduate), delete her contact from messengers and block it, and if saw her somewhere which is sitll avoidable, I will do the same thing like you that is acting blind. Then if cannot avoid already, just say hi and buzz off. hehe I am bad. :p

  4. lilian, there’s so many horror of ex’es – very scary! i only have x (tra) kgs to shed, x(tra) work to do…etc. thanks for comments at Ummi’s

  5. wah…ok…honestly, I’ve never been dumped before. And the previous ones were all puppy loves. Nothing much lah. I’m still in touch with all my ex(s) and we’re still friends. Close to one of them but cannot tolerate his character. Thank goodness I broke off with him. I only lost touch with one. Weird but he somehow disappeared or something. Even his best friend whom I’ve been keeping in touch till now haven’t heard from him.

    But I really hate exes who comes bothering you with problems after problems (when I say this, I mean them to be girls and that I kesian guys who has ex gfs like that) Luckily Mr.BF doesn’t have exes like these. But I remember going out for some group gathering with his friends (I know some of them) and his ex was there you know…wahlaueh…she was like inspecting me from top to bottom but of course she’s no where near me lah (wahahaha…kembang giler)

  6. Only had one ex. Don’t even know if he’s dead or alive. But it was mutual parting on both sides, so nothing to argue about. But since I look better now than when I was dating him, heh………

  7. Sexymama – Woohoo, do you think he is going to bang his head on the wall for missing that opportunity to be hooked up with a hot chick like sexymama?

    Simon – Wrong…that insurance salesman is the hubby now. The dumped one is the insurance client. Hahaha.

    S-Kay – Kembang giler, indeed. But lucky, I never bother to find out details of my hubby’s ex. Don’t need to competition. But hubby know the ex la.

    Kak Teh – You saw it (the comment)! Great! That kind of x tak kira la.

    Surfnux – Ya, so sticky like ba leh ko (mak nga thong). Must be a nuisance.

    Ummi – I am so sorry to read about your experience. I am touched with your blog, very touched.

    Joe – You are so bad. Why balloon, pregnant liao or just being fat? Hahaha.

  8. Lucky for me. I don’t have any sex(typo error). I decide to pick up before I kahwin :p

    But maybe J just want to have 2 kids leh? The more kids, the more kacau mah. But nevermind lah. Maybe he sees you, he will also takut wan :p

  9. I avoid all my exes except the first ex because we’re best of friends now. Weird huh? Recently, my ex saw me online and said that he would like to meet up with me. I nearly fainted. There is NO WAY i’m gonna see him this summer. *hide hide hide* The whole situation will be so awkward. Unless I’m attached and I decided to be bitchy.. then i’ll bring the new bf along to meet him. lol. But that’s highly unlikely lah

  10. ahhaahha…i never bother also to find out but so happen I had to bump into her and be at the same dining table as her. Hah. But luckily takde jealous jealous feeling lah…i think she had man…..okok….shall stop here…too kembang adi……hahahahah

  11. i cannot seem to get rid of my exes … dah la break up, still want to cari me, call me, refer to me as their “darling”… >_<

    the worst one is that orange fella i blog about. really too much la.

  12. I think my ex goes all out to avoid me – the recent one anyways. When asked if he was free for a drink, he goes “No. Am going through a rough patch at the moment.” And it’s been nearly two years now. Wtf. ~_~

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