Entry #500 of 5xmom (B*tching, of course)

Hokkien four-letter words ahead. Not suitable for parents.

If you follow this blog since I started, you will know that I detested the word ‘housewife’. I had blogged about being a professional.
I had talked about my identity crises. Also I claimed to be a dignified housewife.

I do not understand why some women allow themselves to be moulded into one. It is not they lack education or anything like that.

I have one neighbour who lurves to ask these questions:
1) Your son? How many you got?
2) Your husband? Where he work?
3) What you feed your son (re toddler rosy cheeks and smooth skin)? How old is he? Bla bla bla.

She often go around asking these same questions to almost everyone I suppose. Because she asked the same questions every single time I bumped into her. She seems to have a lot of time hanging around lift lobby too. However…one day, she asked?

‘Ah Chee, har leh si lu eh soon orh?’
(Older sister, is that your grandson?)*pointing to my toddler*

KNNMCB, Damade….I was dressed in proper clothes and had my make-up on and yet this stupid woman think I am a grandmother to a 15 yrs old boy right up to 2 yrs old baby. Is she blind or what? Brain-damaged? I swear I will never smile at her again. So much for ‘Love thy neighbour’. If I don’t show any friendliness to her, then, I wouldn’t have to hate her. So there…no more hello, no more smile.

There is also another eat-full-nothing-to-do housewife whom I wish I can sue her. If I am living in the United States of America, probably, I can start a legal suit against her for traumatising my son.

My #2 son is small frame. He is in Form One (13 yrs). She often asked him, “You are in Standard Four ah (10 yrs)? Why you so thin? Your mother never feed you ah? You must eat a lot lor, you so short.

WTF you care about my kids wor? You go and keep an eye on your own brood enough la.

Usually, I will retaliate behind her back. It is to ease my kid’s feelings and also to make him laugh. So, I will say these in Hokkien when she is out of earshot.

“macibaimapuki lu kaypoh hamik lanchiaw?”

Which my son will LOL and challenge me to say it in front of her and see what her reaction is. Of course, I am not a housewife so those words can’t escape from my mouth eventhough I very much like to scream out loud KNNMCBMPKLC to a person.

At the end of our conversation, I would warn my kids, “Don’t anyone of you dare to repeat what I just said or else I cut your tong-giu (tongue).” They do have lessons on four letter words to prepare them for ‘just in case’ situations.

Am I sweet or what? Cheers to Entry #500!

11 Replies to “Entry #500 of 5xmom (B*tching, of course)”

  1. wah….i baru 100…yours sudah 500 =P

    Anyway, the reason why my mom dun like mixing with other SAHMs is because she wants to avoid all these nonsense questions being thrown to her repeatedly. She finds these ppl very….tak han mou yeh chou lah in short.

    Which is why she has very very very few KL friends. Hehehehehhehe and all she has is her kids to talk to.

  2. Relax, mam…the fact that you can distinguish yourself from that Ah Chee (or Ah CP) neighbour and yet put up a different face for her and your family…means only one thing…you are prepared to continue living in this place you call “Home”.

  3. goodness…for a moment there you brought me down memory lane with that, “Why you so thin? Your mother never feed you ah? You must eat a lot lor, you so short.”.

    for me, it was the total opposite. although that was like 6 to 7 yrs ago, i still get the almost alike,’wah, yvy…so fat oredi hor? eating too much is it? aiyooo….wat happen to your face?? dont eat kacang la…very bad for the skin’. damn it, woman!! leave ME alone…!!!!!

  4. ROFLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL Lilian, you are such a RIOT!!! When you wanna be funny, you can be sooooooooooooooo funny LOL. Hey, this is better than PAID entertainment you know hahahha!

  5. Cantonese has one world that fit female that keep aci-ah-jaw : Sei Pak Por. It can be used for all age group, from 8 to 80 years old, it even fit for man who aci-ah-jaw.

  6. moo_t – Unfortunately, sei pat phor did not sound so great in hokkien and over here, we speak hokkien mah.

    Tinkerbell – Hahaha, I got plenty of moods to play around. Watch out!

    Lobaksoup – Don’t repeat hor? Nanti all the guys run away if you talk like that.

    kasba – Dun la learn all the bad things.

    spectrakia – Yalar, have to fit in.

    S-Kay – It is very stressful talking to these housewives you know? So very kiasu and always want to be better than you one step. Even when something is not good, they will say theirs even worse. So, that’s why I always stay home.

    Yvy – That’s the problem with us Asians lor. Always give negative inputs, stating the obvious. Hate them! I also grew up with ‘aiyoh..you so thin, got cacing issit?’

  7. muahahahah… I really like the way you render those profanities. Such swearing would sound totally different in English.

  8. U just have to evangelize (sp?) to them. Just ask, ” Ah Soh, lu pat Yeh Su boh? Yeh Su jin jia ho. Yeh Su jin sayang lu.” If she’s willing to listen, you’ve done a good job. If she doesn’t, she’ll avoid you forever. Hahaha! This is not speaking of the Lord’s name in vain, is it?

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