A response from me

Thank you, NICU doctor for dropping by my blog. It is a blessings indeed.

1. By pointing out that MC Fong has barked up the wrong tree does not mean that the media, journalist Michael Cheang and minishorts are not at fault. I shall not dwell on who MC Fong is and what her background is because then, it will be very unfair to me. It is like I have to keep in mind a person living on some credits. For e.g. I am a bereaved mother and I can ask to live on the credit of my status as a bereaved mother. Or a person with disabilities can live and demand sympathies on the credit of their disabilities. Then, everyone will be treading on eggs whenever they speak, right?

As a parent, I would have voiced this matter straight to the Editor of The Star. Though I do not know them very well, I had met and communicate with a few. Whether I had already expressed whatever is in my heart is a private matter. I may or may not have the same line of thoughts as MC Fong. The difference is I will stomp to the highest level, i.e. The Star and get my voice heard.

2. Two separate worlds
There are two separate things here.

As a blogger, I go with the flow. I play the games like most politicians do. In Cantonese, it is call ‘seng mok’. There are bloggers I cannot stand but then, what do I care? I will be on the losing end if I take them by the horns. I stay at my corner, they stick to theirs.

As a mother to so many children, I had done my part. In fact, I had done my part way beyond most individuals. My communities works speak for itself. I do not need to explain that.

3. As for the mention of recreational drugs and etc.
What I want to ask is – how many people are willing to speak up on this? None. I was the only one who pointed out to my fellow Penang blogger that it is not right for her to be helping out in a forum that ‘has undertones of substance abuse’. What do I get? A lot of verbal abuses including the person I was trying to help. Do I care? Nope. I don’t. Why? because it is none of my business how a person wants to glorify their knowledge on recreational drugs and abuse their own bodies. I said so for the interest of that Penang blogger whom often referred to me as a Catholic sister. I said so because if the narcotics make a swoop, she may end up being questioned. I know Malaysia and I know things like these can happen.

4. You need to read ALL of my postings to know where I stand. I had spoken up against the culture of idolising ghosts and ghosts stories.

5. I had written about my thoughts about lesbianism and homosexuals.

6. I had talked about abortions.

7. The flaks I got from the bloggers maybe daunting to others but I got balls, with durian thorns.

As a suggestion, NICU doctor, if you and anyone else want to arrest this matter, start venturing into the internet. Bring some loving kindness, some genuine care, real friendship and find out why there are so many young people who are full of pain, anger and hatred. Let’s not stand by the side and cast stones on them. It will not solve anything. It will only make the gap bigger.

This issue not only touches on bloggers vs. public out there. It goes right back to the roots between parents and their children. And it involves not only this but the future of our country. So, is my eyes open wide enough?

Frankly, for a professional doctor, you could have written to me in private and get my much more polite answers. But then, this is a blessings because I get to say so many things that I had wanted to say. For that I thank you!

****************
To Michael Cheang (hahaha, I do know which blogger you are), that article was great as with all articles that you had written. I had admired the journalist behind so many of articles I had read. So, please do not jump and accept my apologies if there is any misunderstandings.

What cause the flak is not the article, minishorts or MC Fong. It was the frenzy caused by some bloggers who are louder than others. It is also the word quoted by Aiz ‘ambassadors of bloggers’. I certainly do not agree to that. Because sixthseal, minishorts and suanie the blogs (not the person ok?) (with the exception of Simon and Kenny’s blogs) are definitely NOT the creme de la creme of Malaysian blogs.

I know Aiz did not make direct reference. But that’s the message we get. We see the same face again and again. For the article in Star In-Tech, it is a big let-down indeed.

**************

In closing, please leave a comment if you wish. But DO NOT FLAME NICU doctor nor MC Fong. Flame me if you wish.

As for MC Fong – I am sorry to hear about your son and your condition. However, the fact of the world is – If you want to tackle an issue/person, you have to go the whole way. Fight this matter to the end. Write to The Editor of StarTwo, Star In-tech and c.c to the main Editor. Good luck!

One more point brought up by NICU doctor. Don’t remind me about shuttling between hospital, home and children. I had done that for seven months too. I had even written a book about coping.

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43 thoughts on “A response from me”

  1. woi how can you say i am not a cremedelacreme.

    ok,i also attribute it to a hilarious stroke of luck and of course, looks seem to matter.

    but it takes all kinds.

  4. Wingz – Here no suspense thriller one la. You got wrong cinema liao. Nah, refund you popcorn and coke money. Hahahaha.

    Kasba – Right, everyone has their rights. But the issue is the person has campur aduk what I had been doing and swipe me with just one post which he had read wrongly. If he wants to swipe me with what I blog, fine. But never, ever take everything else and use it against me. That’s lame. Geddit?

    minishorts – Fuwah, you made me femes liao. hahaha.

  6. *quote*
    in the hope that self-regulation by bloggers is the way to go to protect the kids
    *end quote*

    Quoted from the previous post. That feels so not right. I cant protect your[parent] kids. Thats not what I do. Dont ask me to protect your[parent] kids. If the children find something offensive, then they should have the know how [instilled by the parents] to understand that this is something offensive, I should go somewhere else.

    It’s about empowering children to discern for themselves what is wrong and what is right.

    It’s about teaching them that it’s their choice that matters. It’s they who choose to read.

    It’s about them learning to understand how their curiosity influences their choice.

    And It’s about them learning the consequences of that curiosity.

    I’m no parent. I dont claim to know anything about parenthood. But I feel it’s wrong that we should self regulate because of somebody’s kid might read these blogs. Self regulation goes both ways. Not only for the blogger but also to the reader. If the blogger must behave, the reader should too.

  7. Misunderstood again hoh? Oi! Please do something about your cencorship system. I didn’t write anything questionable, I swear!

  8. MG – Wah…I thot solved liao wor. How come you still kena censor leh? Not my fault wor.

    Bawang Merah – Cukup oomph! This gives us a chance to see things in real life. The expectation is we (bloggers) tone down. Yeah, right, one or two bloggers may/can do it. But how many people can we control? There are millions out there. We can’t control the big bad world but as parents we can equip our own children. That was my whole point when I blogged the previous one. Otherwise, why should I bother to pick it up from minishorts? To highlight that parents have to stand up, speak up and know what to do with their kids.

    Belacan – need to tambah some belacan too? Hahaha.

  11. A writer has wrote his own experience when he encounter opium when he is still a child, his mother just say , “It is something bad. You are still young. Wait until you growth up and jugde yourself whether you still want to try it or not.”. The writer never try any drugs after he grew up.

    Another socialist talk about her own experience about story books : Too many violent scene in Alibaba and the 40 robbers; unrealistic prince/princes story,etc. Story like “Little Prince” is for adult. At the end, she resort to teach her children about values of life rather than cencored the story books.

    IMHO, parenting is not about spending ALL your time supervising your little one, but teaching the right values. Lots of parents just take “lack of time” to execuses themself from the responsibility.

  13. S-Kay, kesian u. Give me your two sens by email and I paste it for you. I really have no idea.

    moo_t – Good examples there.

    Joe!!!! – Come back, got sparks liao.

  16. For most parents, raising a child is a challenge and a half.
    Factor in particular circumstamces, it might be only 1x difficulty for the lucky ones, and 2x or even 3X for the “Pai Mia” ones. Imagine multiple kids. With a single parent. Or abusive spouse, or alcoholic/gambler or absent parent.
    It’s no cake-walk.

  17. Percolator – You are getting out of topic wor. The topic is – this matter has nothing to do with me but The Star. It is about bloggers being asked by the public to watch their acts. So, are you on the bloggers’ side or what?

    Wingz – tiuss la, i never put any filter. But maybe I had been filtering too many porn sites trackbacks it filtered everything out. Working on it, soon you can cuss again.

  18. darn it lilian, this moderation. Typed a proper response to you but couldn’t post cos of ‘questionable content’ This moderation thing is hyper or should I say, ultra. Ironic isn’t it, here we are talking about openness, but commenting system is tighter than chastity belt! You know me, no cuss words.

  19. Thanks for your link Lilian! I have been away ffor a bit, and wow you’ve updated so much! I agree with you that MC Fong should take issue with the Star’s editor. After all, they are the censorship board of the paper anyway. The Internet is too powderful for anyone to impose any restrictions at the moment. Even if there are restrictive measures, it is only temporary.
    And yeah, the Star Intech was such a dissappointment. With their paparrazi lens, I would have expected a much better article than that. Probably did not make the editor’s cut.

  21. sweating too much, trying to comment. so hard to comment I gave up .When I want to comment all my thoughts sudah hilang

  24. I cussed *LMAO* in my last comment and it got thru. I tried posting a long one with no cuss words. It was “denied for questionable content” so I guess the moderator does not go on cuss words. Any lengthy one may be too much to process, so reject. Not very intelligent hhmmph!

  25. Awww marn, I cross my heart and hope to die that I DO NOT KNOW wtf is wrong with my comment board. Even I myself got ‘questionable content’. I swear I did not do anything to it. Free country, free to comment. But I am free to censor too la.

  26. haha.. ok, now I post my response in instalments, then:

    My position is this. The star’s choice of bloggers to be featured was business decision. Not necessarily an accurate reflection or represenation of all bloggers. They select subject based on ‘interest value’ what they think sells. what they think public want to read. Commercial interest.
    Alternatively, the perception they want the public to have on bloggers. If they want public to think bloggers experiment with drugs, or bake cakes and knit jumpers, they select subjects that fit the portrait. Read shaping public perception. Read ideology.
    That’s why I said “ambassadors”, a nuance most peopole no catch ball.
    My take here based on my background in journo cultures and pratices.
    btw, I appreciate the “living on credit’ bit. or

  30. Percolator – I still dun geddit. You made it sound like some conspiracy which I know is not. Because I like to believe I know where Michael Cheang (his ears much have itched) stands. So, shoo-shoo, don’t give nuance ‘cos as far as I see it, there is nothing to it. Merely, handsome guys and cun chicks get potrayed.

    But off topic, the one by Star Intech, is a different story. That report is skewed. Come on, Star Intech ought to focus on IT matters like talk about some techie lingo like what engine the bloggers used, RSS and stuffs like that. Tie in technology matters with bloggers.

    Even my Star Intech exposure have more techie thing. I was portrayed like a webmaster (in case you do not know, I was on FOUR pages ok?). They asked about the technical matters. But the PPS bash, there is zilch info about techie matters. I am disappointed because bloggers appeared to have no substance.

    Wah, we are really off topic. Anyway, like I said, I may or may not have the same line of thoughts with MC Fong. (guess la) I am a parent like her, I have concerns like her. But I would tackle the matter differently.

  33. Okay i dont get it.Im a bit stupid you see.

    From what i understood,that person emailed minishorts and said she’s concerned bcoz minishorts’ blog has a lot of curse words/foul language and her kids read it,am i right?

    So er what does all of this has to do with that? I mean,sooner or later the kids will pick up some curse words wan mer.Or the person can just filter the net,so that her kids wont surf the sites that she dont want them to.

    All blogs has curse words la.We bloggers curse,especially when we are frustrated.That’s the art of getting it all out.

    It’s not like the star did a story about blogs which are endorsing dadah or p0rn0graphy.

    And how are parents protecting their kids by forbidding them to read blogs which has curse words in it? They should expose them to it.It;s better for the parents to expose them than the kids go learning about all of it from their peers.

    IMHO,foul language is just a tip of the iceberg.
    For people like me,it’s part of life.I curse when i got electrocuted when i tried to turn the door knob.
    I curse when some idiot cut into my lane without a signal.

    But i dont do dr*gs or anything crminally wrong (except for traffic offences but thats another issue).

    Okay this is getting longer and longer.i better stop here.

    I so thank god i did not blog about this issue. Or maybe i should have.

    geez.

    sorry lilian for a comment full of bullsh*ts.

    Disclaimer : I’m not flaming anyone here ,just merely expressing my opinions.

    Just in case,Article 10 (1)(a) of the Constitution says i have a freedom of expression/speech.

  34. RB – ei, you tak kena censor pulak

    Percolator – Blame it on the one up there, not my fault

    Wingz – Sorry, word not in dictionary

  35. Actually.. i don’t think that cussing on blogs in an art.. you don’t see any tom dick and sally cussing on their blogs and having a wide readership do you?

    However.. those (blogs) that do have lots of blogders are blogs that’ve substance.. and just because the use of a cuss word here and there doesn’t necessarily make them bad..

    i believe there is such a thing as using cuss words in good taste (especially in written form.. i doubt spoken cuss words can ever be in good taste..)

    but then.. i’ve gone off topic. The point is.. it IS a free world.. parents cannot expect to restrict the freedom of others in their personal interest in their children. it is a fine line between protecting your children’s right to freedom from filth and protecting others’ right to freedom in expressing themselves (no inferences whatsoever that blogger’s blog filth ok?)

    while each and everyone of us has a civic responsibility to “do the right thing”.. everyone should bear in mind that there are different perceptions and principles held on what is “the right thing”..

    just my very long 2kupang.. (sorry ah 5xmom)

  36. Darn it Wingz!! U kao kao chan, mou pong chan! Take this 10 cent go other place play play! Take RM1 better, u can go buy siumai instead of cimai.

  37. Joe – Hahaha siumai….You also as funny as wingz.

    nesie – Agree with your point. I can type every Hokkien cuss words but only the organ parts get uttered by me. Not the action. hahaha.

  38. OK lilian, I think I geddit now. Moderator was ‘jeles’ of all the attention you were getting, hence, barred even non-malicious postings. lol!

    Yes, MC should have written to The Star.
    Yes people should not live on ‘credit’ so much so everybody is obliged to tip-toe around and keep up the delusions.
    As for MC’s parenting abilities, I addressed it in ‘challenge and a half’, I don’t know all her circumstances, hence I suspend my judgement. Perhaps some people are more resilient, pragmatic, objective than others.
    At the minimum, I think she must be a very concerned mother, who acted reflexively in going after the bloggers rather than the press who were the ones who generated the publicity and the fame. Understandable (her anxiety ruling her actions), but not the most productive thing to do.
    So hate me, I can’t bring myself to condemn her or her parenting techniques or lack thereof.

  41. haha… moderator worked OT last nite. Me good gal went to bed at midnight after doing the laundry… and woke up early to sneak my post in… kekekeke. eat your heart out!!

  42. Sheesh Percolator – You think I have so much free time to play hide and seek? The fucking system screwed up and has nothing to do with me.

    Wingz – Yah, we chant together ok?

    S-Kay – Hahaha. I wish I know the reason.

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