What is it like being single mom?

I am a highly independent girl of sorts because I practically grew up on my own. If I want anything or anyone, I would go out and get it.

But being a wife, I am a hopeless case. I do not know how much the utilities bills are per month. I had never been to TNB, Telekom, banks or anything like that to do any transaction. I have no idea how much insurance coverage my family will have. I never changed a lightbulb nor give the air-cond a monthly washing. I do not know how much a cup of kopi-o is. I haven’t touch an automated teller machine aka atm for something like 7 years?

So, I do wonder if I can survive if I am a single mom (touch wood, choy….tai kat lei si)? I do admire those women who bring up their children on their own. Whether as widows or divorcees. My mom was widowed in her late 40s.

Nay….not that I worry about these things. Just that I realised how hopeless I am with the mundane stuffs. Don’t even ask me to fill in an income tax form. Or pay our apartment maintenance fee. I do not know how! Gosh, I am worse than a blonde bimbo! ‘Cos I do not know how to transfer money in a bank or online at home.

Then, again, I am quite efficient when big things happened. Like arranging funerals (of my in-laws, my mom, my son)? Or make the decisions for my atm’s big clans. I had single handedly taken my kids through the pebbled paths of Genoa, Italy, the super-fast MRT maze in Hongkong and heh, messy KL. So, I guess I do stand a chance to survive and stand on my own in case of any tung-kwa tau-foo. Choy…. Better go wash my mouth with dettol.

But have we, women, ever thought about such things? What is it like being a single mom?

19 Replies to “What is it like being single mom?”

  1. when the time comes and you have to, you’ll learn it faster than your ABCs. believe me, you don’t know about all these things now because you have someone else to do them for you. be glad for that and enjoy them.

    it’s a privilege.

  2. 5xmom !!!!!! u r so “hang fuk” woooo…
    5xdad sure is a very good husband n daddy. hee =D

  3. hehehe me too! Same case like u.. member here la. Well, thought of it b4 and it is scary when u think of it. But hey, dun think negative. When the time comes i am sure we will be okie. 🙂
    We have the above Father to look after us ma.. 🙂

    N yea..u r very hang fook leh! 🙂 sin mou sei yan.

  4. “I haven’t touch an automated teller machine aka atm for something like 7 years?”

    wow!! atm oso no need to go ya!?

  5. It’s called ‘organisation’ maa… one person takes care of cleaning & cooking, another takes care of repair & maintenance. Can’t expect wife to climb ladder to clean the fan though..or fix the roof. Only thing she does when she goes to the bank with me is sign on the dotted line (joint acc lor, scared if I kaput *choi-choi*, she’d be broke). She no need to touch the cash even when spending it at the supermarket. I’m trolley-pusher, queuer, cashier, driver/deliveryman….

  6. Hi’z Lilian
    As you know i am a single mum , i must say bcoz of my circumstances Life is much better now ,it’s too long a story to blog about or comment on but maybe oneday i’ll post a little on it,,,Haha lucky u posted this earlier”
    I am worse than a blonde bimbo! ‘Cos I do not know how to transfer money in a bank or online at home.” Or i might of thought you meant me,,hehe as i just left u a msg on my blog comments,, haha yes im doing my banking online.Actually i am so independant that i think guys hate it. tsk tsk
    Cheerz galfriend

  7. For a very long time I didn’t understand fully the hardship of a single mum. Only after I entered adulthood, did I slowly understand the hardship, mum must have gone through bringing us up by herself.

  8. Single mums indeed have it tough. I am not a mum, hope to be one soon though (a married one!). I know how to do a lot of things but independence can be frustrating – sometimes you just want a man to rely on, who will do all the small things and let you relax for a change. Still, it’s good to know some mundane stuff, so that if, touch wood, anything happens, at least you won’t have to run around trying to learn everything at once.

  9. well, my mum was widowed just before she retired. my dad passed away in 95, the yr i was taking my spm (darn it!! now my ‘*secret* is out!!). she was afraid n was prepared to hear the news that i failed it coz i was deeply affected when my dad left.

    like u, she was ignorant of all these things coz daddy normally took care of it. but she’s a REAL super woman/super mum. she knew that life had to go on n she had 2 kids to look after of, me n my kid sis so she picked herself up n took up where daddy left off. she has REALLY changed and grown in many ways n is my role model. she is the picture of a perfect mum to me. my tower of strength and walking ATM machine. heheheh….i love my mummy!! 😀

  10. Hi Lilian,

    I’ve been a single mom for the past 23months….& its definitely not breezy…i had to do everything from taking out RM from the ATM(i think u not visiting the ATM machine fro the past 7 years is so cute…of cos u have yr own ATM at home….hehe) to fixing my own car, to paying ALL my bilss, to caring for my H….etc (never ending list)….but i wouldn’t exchange it for anything else…what i have with H is a special GIFT from GOD.

    people tell me H is lucky to have me as her Ummi…
    but actually…i am the lucky one…i am lucky to have H as my daughter…for without H, i am just an OLD Single LONELY Lady….w/ nobody to share my LOVE

    I’m sorry i missed u on yr last trip here…please e-mail me next time u plan to come down again.

    p.s. & Lilian…thank you for your entry…”Blogs that touched my heart”…i never thought my writings can give that effect…what more to GREAT PEOPLE like you…i am very honored…thank you

  11. being a single mom is tough. but with true grit and determination, especially with love for the child … everything will be ok. how i know? well, i have a really good pal in beijing who happens to be a single mom. and now she is happily running her business and caring for her child too. 🙂

  12. I have a friend who is like a friend to her son as she is a single divorcee. Its hard but when its necessary, we will find the resources within us to cope for our children. Mr MG likes us to do things together eg pay bills, fix the plumbing, climb roof….. so I have no problems with any of those things you mentioned.

  13. A friend of mine is almost a single mum literally, and she has 2 kids. It’s tough to see her working desperately to earn a living for paying the rent, car installment, children’s education, and daily necessities. Then, by the end of the month, she’s broke. If she brings her sons out for meals, she’ll only let the sons eat, but she won’t order. She doesn’t have much too spend. All three of them don’t have insurance coverage, or any relatives to help out. But I’m glad that they have some good church members who’ll help out when she needs help. BTW, I admire her courage in bringing up her young children and facing everything in life by herself. Her husband is really useless! Not staying with them nor helping financially…

  14. Hi well Ive been a single mom since the conception of my son. I was 19 at the time, i am now 24. Beeing a single mom is great I love it yes there a lot more work and you live on one income, but you never have to argue with anyone on the way you want to discipline your child, or what values you want him or her to have. Im actually thinking about having a second child in the years to come and I think i wanna keep it the way it is just me and my kids. My son will be 4 in nov 2008. I have a full time job, live on my own and have a home base business on the side, I date and have mommy,son day at least once a week. Im always very busy compare to the people around me but I wouldnt change it for the world.

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