How to tie your man

Easy. Just buy a tie as a gift for him. Chinese has this belief. If you received a tie from someone, it signifies the person is tying you down. So, girlfriends and wives, go out and buy a couple of ties for the man NOW.

So how to avoid being tied down? Simple. Give the giver a dollar (RM or whatever currency of the country you are from). This means the man is buying the tie from the woman and hence, break the curse!

Actually, a few days ago, Eyeris blogged about his hatred for ties. On the same day, my atm brought back three ties! Now, this is red alert. Three ties!?!? In funky colours, no less.

I recalled the movie Pretty Woman where Julia Roberts presented Richard Gere with a tie in her birthday suit. I think buying a tie as gift for a man is rather personalised. I don’t think I can just pop by a tie shop and lovingly and thoughtfully pick out a tie for a platonic male friend without having some feelings. Probably, because I associate ties with what I mentioned above.

Now, where did my atm get his ties from? Nay…not some hot chicks or sexy-turkey of his. His Italian colleagues from Italy usually bring loads of ties for him as gifts. Some are very stylish, some look like those thin, black ties worn by the mafias. I would check the label and see that it is not some local brand ties. Then, I would be suspicious.

Ever tie a man down? I mean give him a tie, don’t get naughty ideas, ok? Guys, next time don’t simply accept ties from any Ah Lians, ok? It may have kong thau (black magic).

19 thoughts on “How to tie your man

  1. chinese has also belif hoh, if a girlfriend buys shoes for a man, then the man will Chao Loh (cabut, leaving her)…

    but hoh, my sweet sweet mummy has been buying shoes for me since we met… and i am still stick with her.

    cheh, not true punya :p

  2. HAahah…I gave Naz a tie on our first anniversary and he likes it so much. So does that mean he loves being tied down? Mwahahhahaha

  3. this reminds me…i need more ties. and shirts too.

    anybody having a clearance sale? i’m feeling mighty cheapskate these days.

  4. Willwolf – Oh, the toes, issit?

    Din – Go put up a banner on your site? Ties wanted. Only from single, young, pretty, available girls.

    S-Kay – It must be a special tie.

    LocKee – Yakah, I never heard of that before leh.

  5. What about guys who don’t wear ties? How to give ties? Nanti they suspicious leh!

    Eh, what about women who buy their boyfriend/husband underwear? LOL! Last time I went to Sunway Pyramid, wahhh..the Renoma underwear shop was filled with female shoppers!

  6. Speaking of underwears, is it true that usually it’s the mothers or wives that buys the underwears for the guys, not the guys themselves? šŸ˜‰

  7. hahaha i thot u can tie up by feeding hubbies wid good food :p make them perut buncit until no gals wanna bat their eyelid at them LOL *evil grin*

  8. Wifey never bought me any tie in my life…but how come I’m stuck with her? Where she goes I go (I’m driver maa..)except toilet, of course. Wait2.. maybe belt also count. She tied me with belt! And then she also bought me a wallet. Maybe that’s why now I’m always the cashier when she goes shopping. Hmmm….

  9. Lilian, thanks for this post and all the comments. Today, I’m going to go out to buy tie, belt, wallet, underwear, handcuffs for me man. Muahahahahahaha.

  10. Willwolf – I know, I know, the knees! Hahaha.

    MG – Wah, like that oso cannot. Afterwards all Mr MG wants to is to stay at home and look at you deep into the eyes and mutter nothing but ‘I lup u’. Then, how to bring back the bread and bacon?

    sexymum – Hahaha, OK, must take your advice. But where to buy handcuffs? You got mail order before issit?

    LC – Wah, tie with belt lagi dashyat.

    babe – That’s also another trick. I wonder Mr Babe got perut buncit yet with all your cooking?

  11. lilpatchee – All the guys I knew always buy their own underwears. And my hubby, aiyoh…he damn fussy wan. Got macam-macam comments, so pondan la, material so thick la, etc etc. So, I never bother to go with him to buy underwear.

    simmie – Buy leopard prints, tiger prints wan, right? Wah, sexy hor? G-strings?

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