I am blogging

Blogging is to disseminate information to people. So, I am blogging today.

Topic : How to pick up vomit.

Vomits usually consists of:

1) milk, banana and rice in goey texture

2) milk and goey goo

3) gallons of beer

4) fermented durians with cincalok

5) belacans with petai

and insert your own food here

…. …. …. ….

So, listen here folks, this is to educate people, wukay? So listen carefully (or read la) and make sure you don’t blink your eyes.

Step One

Go to kitchen and take kitchen towel

Take one roll, a new one, preferably

Come back to vomit spot

Tear many many pieces of kitchen towel and spread on TOP of vomit.

Leave it there to soak and diffuse.

Step Two
Take care of the vomit victim. I.e. the person that kena the vomit la wei, not the vomitor. Whether needs to change clothes, bath or whatever.

Then, deal with the vomitor. If vomitor is above 18 years old, scream – You idiot! Next time, go to the toilet and vomit. You go die lah.

If below 18 months old, kiss, kiss and sayang sayang and coo coo.

If in between 18 mths old and 18 years old – Yell – Serve you right. Told you not to eat the whole comb of bananas and drink that quart of milk. See lah, now my sofa is dirty. **Insert your own dialect cuss words.**

And that, ladies and gentlemen is a blog to inform and educate people. Thank you for reading. Terima kasih. Vannakam. Xie xie. Kam siah.

Oh ya, forget about the vomit and kitchen towel. Call the dog to eat them. Or leave it there to dry and use it to build fire in case Tenaga tarak karen, which is often.

21 Replies to “I am blogging”

  1. myself when vomit only can see
    1. ohkau
    2. kasbert
    3. brandy
    4. whiskey
    5. a little bit kacang
    6. ohkau
    7. brandy
    8. a little bit blood.

  2. Aiyoh, ah pek, dun ler, you already look so kesian with your muka like dat. Me very sam thong la. Eat hellthy food, don’t drink so much. Tuak more hellthy.

  3. One thing I cannot tahan is people using mop to clean up puke and then put the mop in the bucket of water, squeeze dry and then mop again!!!

    Sorry if anyone lost their appetite here 😛

  4. reading this post, somehow the fried cempedak didn’t taste as well when i telan. after taste smells like regurgitated milk… uwek!

  5. In the school where I work, we have this wonderful clean up kit. I wonder if they have it back home?

    Sometimes, the students get sick and throw up. They just sprinkle something that resembles sand on the mess and let it dry. After that, just sweep sweep sweep! No need to wipe/soak/use kitchen towel! So easy!

    Mops are not heng here lor. Come to think about it, I’ve never seen the janitors use a mop before! LOL!

  6. where got people still use mop to clean up vomit one. i buy kitchen towels by the tons. use it to wipe everything from vomit, kitchen tops, or just any surface that requires cleaning without having to rinse cloth. not very environmental-friendly, hor. urrrrrrrrggghhhh. hate cleaning so much. the only ‘wet’ cleaning i do is mop the floors like once a week would suffice and dishes. bathing not counted. must go bug hubby for a dishwasher and those quantum-showcase water-less mops.

  7. I also know someone who will vomit when they see one. Maybe can group them up and make a chain reaction vomitting….hehehe….sounds nasty!

  8. Aahaaahaa… don’t know whether to laugh or run away… waaah… thank god, I don’t have to do these things… yet…

  9. keropok man – No lah, because I just want to blog about nothing. But mana tau, got 20 comments. Funny. When I write something deep, few comments.

    Yvonne – You don’t know what to expect when you come here, right? Hey, I am waiting for the blogathon but won’t be around in the early part of the evening. Will kpc comments, watch out!

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