Joke of the year : EPF for wives

Ptuii!!!! Ingenious idea wor. Since when is marriage a financial arrangements? Do you think that those puny amount of EPF is enough to pay us? The women who left their jobs which sometimes are higher paid than the husband? (not me la) You think we are hard up for that mere percentage of money meh? How much can the contribution be? At most RM2,000 for the above average income earner? But you think all those males species are going to give all the percentage to the wives? Don’t dream.

Housewives, listen here. There are many way you can kikis (scrap) the husband’s money. You do not even have to wait till you are past menopause to draw the money. You do not have to keep your money with the E what Pundek Tabung.

First you learn to spend less. Don’t burn your poor husband money away doing frivoulous stuffs like buying tupperwares, re-bonding hair, enlarge breasts, tighten down there, slimming centre, buy diamonds so that your girlfriends from primary school can be jealous. When a man sees that you are not spending so much of his money, he will also spend less.

Then, you will have more money left over from his salary. So, you take the next step. Look around for properties. Bodoh, properties mean houses, apartments, ok? You don’t know how to evaluate, read Property Malaysia blog regularly.

After that, go romance romance and hint that it is time a man establish himself with some properties in his name. Then, nah, let him sign the property purchase with YOUR name on it. That is easily a few hundred thousand Ringgit Malaysian. Think how many years only you can reach that amount if you pay E Pundek Tabung?

Now, see? You even get to withdraw the money thim. Yeah, draw out YOUR husband money from the Tabung. They are paying peanuts. Use it to buy some flats or better buy two or three units. Then, each month, you can go around and collect rental.

If you can’t afford houses yet, buy a car. And the car is in YOUR name too. Provided of course, your NCB (that is no claim bonus not no cheebye) is as high as mine. Don’t know what car to buy? See PaulTan. Make sure you ask PaulTan what car got resale value. (best bet – Japanese Honda or Toyota not some limpy sawi).

At the same time, buy life insurance. What is life insurance? It has lower premium and you only get the money when the husband kick the bucket. Don’t opt for other type because it only helps to pay the agent buy BMWs and Mercedez.

Whatever, don’t reach for that Borang KWSP 16D and got yourself under your husband’s employment. I tell you, you are not going to like it. He will then thinks he is the boss and expect you to iron his underwear and massage his mother’s feet. After he put in RM50 each month, he may:

Demand sex 3 times a day because he had paid for it. Failing which, he has the right to find a China/Sri Lanka/Indonesian doll.

Demand that there is not a crumb on the floor because he paid for it.

Demand that the kids are not to disturb him when he reads his papers from front to back and back to front because…yeah you guessed it.

Demand you use YOUR OWN MONEY which had been giving to you (from the EPF contribution) to pay for your OWN mother’s medical fee in future.

Get it? It is the stupidiest idea. And only ingenious stupid people can think of ingenious idea like this.

But women – Make sure that husband of yours brought back that other form from EPF. The one which he assigns you the TOTAL amount of his EPF contribution. See that he did not pay to the kids’ name (or his mother!) because if he got chopped by some Ah Long, your poor kids cannot get the money until they reach 18 years old (correct or 21 yrs?).

See? What ingenious ideas? Come to 5xmom lah.

13 Replies to “Joke of the year : EPF for wives”

  1. Make sure you go out with your own friends alone too, so you’re not totally dependent on him. Gives him some space to enjoy with his mates too. (but make sure don’t have affair lah)

    How about a supplementary credit card too.

    (Or are the wives too afraid to have on record that they overspent? Heh)

  2. Hehehe….great tips Lilian, thanks. Next stop, some property buying tips would be nice – 😉

  3. EPF are made up of some incompetent losers who dish out shitty dividents every year.

    Hence you will see them coming up with all kinds of plot to get people to put more money for they to bail out more failed projects and companies.

    On the same matter, if you want to give your wife some extra money, why not just give it directly to her? Why do we have to put into an account where she has no access?

    Stupidest idea I’ve heard…

  4. Wingz – For the record, I have stopped watching despo after Episode One. I am an unfaithful follower of anything, including blogs.

    egghead – My hubby just replied my email. I sent him a joke email asking him to put all his money into my account. He said ‘Another con job to trick our money. Then, one day EPF tutup kedai, semua mati satu kali.

    sexymama – This is one of the most common excuse used by men who want to divorce their wives. Say the wife is a labourer in the kepala sawit plantation.

    yee wei – Tks

    Mrs B – Oooh…Mr B is not going to like this very much. Hahaha.

    Mavryk – It just popped out of my mind when I was typing.

    n305er – You are right.

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