Let’s not talk about the teary part of funerals.
We only hold a three days funeral wake. During that three days, there was a white butterfly (not a moth) in my brother’s home. As I was very pregnant, I went home to sleep as there was not enough place at my brother’s home.
On the first night, my 4 years old was sleeping and pointed his fingers and said ‘Ah Mah, Ah Mah’. It was of course, the mother of all heart-breaks. At that point, I was very lost because my mom was supposed to take care of me during my confinement with #3.
My kids practically lost a home. Where are they going from here on? My sister has a son of her own and I cannot leave my two sons there for fear of them bullying her son.
I let my sons went through every Taoist funeral rituals which can be VERY, VERY elaborate. From bathing the body, changing her clothes, placing stuffs into the coffin, offering all the meals and the burial. I wasn’t allow to participate and had to go somewhere else during some of the ceremonies. (Note that it is always good to guide small children through funeral process)
Then, on the 5th night……
(Ok, someone wrote to me to ask if I believe about visitations.)
Nothing happened until we compared notes.
In Sungai Nibong at my eldest sister’s home where my mom used to stay. Time : Past midnight.
My bro-in-law was drinking Milo, sitting at the dining table, his back to the sink. He heard the clanging of the stainless steel kettle. My mom used to fill the kettle with water before bedtime so that she can boil water the next morning for my nieces breakfast. He thought it was my sister. He turned around and saw no one.
In Bayan Baru, my 2nd sister home.
Around 6 am, she was in the kitchen, preparing breakfast. She heard her dining chair creaking. It was a heavy wooden chair. The dining table is not in the same room as the kitchen. So, she called out ‘cheh-cheh, cho mat yeh kom chou?’ (sis, why so early. She called her eldest daughter cheh-cheh as nickname) No response so she poked her head out. No one.
In Sungai Ara, my home. Time : Almost midnight.
All four of us were in bed. I.e. my atm, me and my two kids. All tucked in nicely. And at the far end of the room, we had a musical toy on a cabinet. A song was played. A Chinese nursery rhyme.
So, everyone went….’ei?’
Then, it stopped and played again. The funny thing is usually if those cheapo toys, it will play the whole annoying song repeated but it stopped after a while.
So, my atm went out of bed to check.
I asked him,
“Why the iron 3-pin plug fell on the toy, is it?”
You know, if something dropped on it, the toy will sound.
So, atm said,
Until the next morning when I was in the office, he phoned and told me there is no 3-pin plug. He did not tell me last night because he knew we would freaked out.
I called my eldest sister and she was shaky because my bro-in-law also told her about the kettle clanging. And when my eldest called my 2nd sister, she related the chair creaking.
So, whether one believe or not, I am very sure it was my mom’s spirit returning to have a look at all of us. She had been calling out my two sons’ name before her death. So, naturally she couldn’t just leave like that.
I was a Taoist at that time. But even now, as a Christian, I know God can allows these little signs to tell us that hey, I am taking good care of them. I have many other such visitations stories from the bereaved parents. I also have something to tell about Vincent’s.
Probably next time. Meantime, put your trust in God that He knows every broken hearts and if you turn to Him, may all your brokenness be healed.
However, don’t ever fall into the gullible act of calling up your deceased souls for a conversation. Let go and have faith that you will meet again, one day.