My mom and Mr. Bean

Mr. Bean never failed to make people laugh. The show is making my three kids splitting their sides now. No matter how many times they had watched the same series, they will still laugh. Everybody loves Mr. Bean.

On 22nd August 1996, my mother was lying on the hospital bed laughing and watching Mr. Bean. She was just admitted for pneumonia and was given oxygen supply.

She even related the story like she usually did when we watch TV together, to my 2nd sister. I remember watching the same show on TV at home. (I had sent her to the hospital earlier and went back home.) My two sons were aged 6 yrs and 4 yrs old then. I was pregnant with the 3rd one.

In fact, Mr. Bean seems to be the ‘marker’ for me to remember my mother. The show was the one where Mr. Bean put a goldfish into his mouth. It happened at a fair or something.

The next morning, my mother had died. She did not know she was so seriously sick. None of the doctors expected it. It was so sudden. If my mother knew about what is going to happen to her, she would probably freaked out. But no, she was laughing all the way.

My eldest brother who was by her side told us later that she just went to sleep. And before they wheeled her into ICU when her blood pressure dropped, she muttered repeatedly the name of my two sons. She was their main caregiver from birth.

Well, it has been 9 years now. Do we miss her? Not as much as we had expected. I thought that when someone died, you feel very, very helpless. But my kids adapted well, from grandma’s care to daycare. So I did the same, adapt.

Three months after her death, I had my 3rd son. I spent the whole confinement month alone, wishing she had taken care of my baby and I, as she did for all my sisters, brothers and my kids. On the first few Chinese New Years, I missed her cooking till I dreamt about them. I adapted, I took over the cooking then.

Probably my sisters and brothers too did miss her on occassions. Like those graduations of my nieces and nephews. Those moments which I know my mother would have been so damn proud. Like seeing her first grandson graduated as a doctor. Some food that we wished she was around to taste. Etc. Etc.

But life goes on. Her sudden death taught me that no matter how bad life is, the next day the sun still rise. You still keep on breathing. And you have the choice to make the best of it. You pass each day, knowing that you had done something good. Something the missing person would approved.

As to where my mom is? Well, I guess she is with Vincent. Because my hubby dreamt of her. The best dream we had was my hubby’s. He dreamt of my mom, taking care of a baby, not long after Vincent’s death.

And once, I dreamt of my mom with a whole treasure chest of jewelleries. A whole lot. Like Ali Baba’s treasure cave. I asked her to give me one and she told me to just take it.

When someone you loved died, you have to find some reasonable explanations for yourself to cope. So, you believe in Heaven. You believe in Jesus and resurrection. And with faith, things seem much easier to cope. You have a promise. You know that no one can take that promise away from you. Just keep believing and living and one day, we will meet again.

Well, when I started writing this, it was about Mr. Bean. I don’t know how I ended up this mushy. *sniff, sniff* Aww….my mascara!!!! (applied it for the Penang Bloggers Meet mah, wanna hiau mah) But then, I am queen of mushy stuffs whenever I allow my heart to bleed.

mom

Here’s the mother of mine. A teacher’s wife who had no enemies, no temper, no expectations, happy all the time.

I am not allowing comment. Please don’t send any RIP. No words needed. But if you are male of reasonable age, lend me your sleeves and collars. *fhrroot, kreaaak, fhrrooot, wipe, wipe* Thank you.

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