Sometimes, it is easy to be sucked into the flow of the majority. Of wanting to do things right, the proper way, the official way and etc.
I was torn between wanting to please the ‘authority’ there is. And also wanting to just follow my heart and do something for the sake of pleasing one single person.
The authority said I musn’t give my money like that. I should do the correct way of applying for assistance through the proper channel. I tried but unfortunately, going through red tapes is not easy.
I can’t bear to see the look on the person’s eyes. I can afford it but I lied a few times to him that I can’t. Because I do not want to get into the black book of the authority. The authority means well. The head told me that I will be taken for a ride. I do not mind because my gut feelings tell me that “Heck, woman, just give him. It will please him for a whole month, for God’s sake!” I followed my heart.
Still, I was chicken shit. I told him another lie. I told him I cannot get the ticket for an important dinner. I was offered the ticket. I dare not purchase it for him. Because the majority doesn’t like his presence. What should I do? Please him and get the majority to shun sitting with him? People call him names. People said he is dirty, noisy, smelly, misbehave……These are words I heard from others. These do not include the names he told me people called him.
How many times he had related to me how people mistreated him. Pushing him away. Avoiding him. For God’s sake, he is trying to earn a few dollars for his meals. Buy his sweets! It is not going to make you a cripple like him. If you do not want his sweet, how about slipping a dollar or two so that he has some money to buy his meals? Even he can said so, ‘People put so much money there (some donation box) but one ringgit also very hard to buy my sweets.’
It is hard for me. I don’t want to judge others. Yet, I cannot do anything but believe him. He told the truth. The very core of how we humans are too eager to please God, please the powerful offices and yet, failed to see that real charity is just giving a genuine smile, a gentle touch, a listening ear, a hot, curry chicken rice, a packet of Milo and sugar, a ride home and other small things.
Well, I am glad the Lord put some common sense into me this morning. I wouldn’t have dare to sing in my loudest voice if He had not shown me what He wants me to do. Just be me, without too much worries about what the ‘authority’ wants.
This song, The Summons is the most beautiful hymn.
(Verse 1 to 4 : You = me. I = God
Verse 5 – Me = I, You = Lord)
1. Will you come and follow me, If I but call your name?
Will you go where you don’t know And never be the same?
Will you let my love be shown, Will you let my name be known,
Will you let my life be grown In you and you in me?
2. Will you leave your self behind, If I but call your name?
Will you care for cruel and kind And never be the same?
Will you risk the hostile stare, Should your life attract or scare,
Will you let me answer pray’r In you and you in me?
3. Will you let the blinded see, If I but call your name?
Will you set the pris’ners free And never be the same?
Will you kiss the leper clean, And do such as this unseen,
And admit to what I mean In you and you in me?
4. Will you love the ‘you’ you hide, If I but call your name?
Will you quell the fear inside And never be the same?
Will you use the faith you’ve found, To reshape the world around,
Through my sight and touch and sound In you and you in me?
(Verse 1=4 You = me. I = God
Verse 5 – Me = I, You = Lord)
5. Lord your summons echoes true, When you but call my name.
Let me turn and follow you And never be the same.
In your company I’ll go Where your love and footsteps show.
Thus I’ll move and grow In you and you in me.