Chinese vs. others

I had bitched about this once. I called the previous one – When money overtakes love.

This time, it is leaflets thrown in my postbox.

It goes something like this.

The Best Choice for Mother & Baby

This month promotion. Discount RM200. Free baby milk powder and daily necessities. XYZ Confinement Home

(translated as : Go push out that lump of irritating human through your CCB and then, come here and let us make money by fooling your PKM that you are not capable of taking care of your own lanchio baby and your CCB.) For fcuk sake, it is just giving birth, ok? Not like they have chopped off all your four limbs. Just one koyak down there, what’s the big deal?

And I have this to say. If you cannot take care of your own babies, just don’t get pregnant. Don’t have sex and don’t get married.

Fast forward……to bigger children…….

I am currently living with a neighbour who is taking care of two siblings. The parents will take the bigger girl home and left the son at the babysitter, day and night, even on weekends. The boy is about my toddler’s age.

wait

Damn, I don’t like to jaga tepi kain orang (busy body) but when your apartment is just next to a howling toddler who got left behind, you get heartbroken. And when you heard the mother scolded the older daughter, “You stop whinning or I don’t want to bring you home” you feel like, well….I got nothing to say. Afterall, they are all my neighbours. Ya, the parents and babysitter and I lived in the same apartment block, on the same floor!

What’s with the Chineses lately? They do not want to have kids. They do not want to take care of their own kids. They are only interested in making money (by working till late). Yet, they whine that the country is not being fair to them. Go lah, have more kids so that we get more votes next time. Otherwise, what for talk cock so much? Want what equality when you are not having kids and others are having one hand also cannot count finish? (more than 5)

*Flame retardant – I am not referring to ALL Chinese, so don’t get agitated, ok? I am talking about those who do not want to take care of their own kid and yet want to show off they got money to buy chihuahua, shizu, pekingnese, datsun. Ptuii…cannot even read the word ‘female’ written on the board and yet want to follow the angmoh rear dogs. Met a Mr. Ah Beng and Mrs. Ah Lian with hazel coloured contact lense and orange hair at the pet shop who annoyed me. So I satu kali blog about it.

Don’t try to be a smart aleck. Your comments will be twisted. Don’t say I didn’t warn you. Think before you write.*

22 Replies to “Chinese vs. others”

  1. *not saying anything…just running away…far far away.*

    but seriously lilian, do u really think we dont have enough babies? i mean, i know definitely cant compare to the ever dropping s’pore babies rate. you know, if ppl got incentive like that, i tell you…..BOTH finger and TOES oso cannot use to count. but i think we have enough babies being born every year, dont we? *thinking hard coz dont really know statistics abt baby boom in malaysia*

  2. Yvy – Where got? Show me how many Chinese have 5 kids? I am not qualified too ‘cos I would have stopped at 4.

    Max – Ya. But the pic above acting oni orh. I am such a good photographer, capturing my little kid sitting in that slumping position, so kesian. Actually, we are just waiting for the car.

  3. i think what lilian means is that they have kids but don’t really want to, evidently because they don’t take care of them.

    it’s not just the chinese who have kids yet don’t want to take care of them. of course. my greataunts have a couple of nurseries. some parents come to pick up their kids as they please. even on weekends, and for some especially on weekends because they have other hal. blerrgghh.

    (of course i can cakap because i don’t have kids and don’t plan to have them haha)

  4. Lilian says “Think before you write.” Aiyah… this toppic, no need to think. Why bother to have kids if you want them to be looked after by someone else. I’ve got friends who let their mums or in-laws look after the kid all week and they only take them home during weekends and then they complain when the kids are closer to the grandparents. Sigh… I can never ever understand this type of attitude.

  5. I do agree with Lilian that if you are not ready to take care of your children, dont bring them to this world yet.
    Unfortunately, there are instances where the couple boarded the bus before buying a ticket (shotgun marriage lar) and therefore they unwillingly procreated offspring. After the said offspring has been discharged from the mother, the parents just want to get on with their lifes.
    Actually, what makes me sad are babies who are left with Indon maids for the whole day at home with no other adult supervising the maid. God knows what the maid can do to your child and you won’t know about it because your child is too young to say it out. How helpless the child must feel, I think.
    I did ask someone who had a full time live-in maid taking care of his toddler and baby and asked him why he didnt consider sending his children to a nursery for half day (his wife works half day only) and pick them up later. He said:” Aiya, I calculated already, maid is the most economical option! SHe cooks, sweeps, changes baby diapers, i only have to pay her a fixed amount and work her to the max! Very good ar”
    Shudders..

  6. I like the picture Lilian and the caption too.

    And yeah, it’s true that if you are not ready to bring up your own child, you shouldn’t bring them into the world in the first place. Letting them suffer is not a nice thing and it’s a sin. To me.

    I guess people are just ignorant somehow.. *sigh*

  7. Yea, I also agree that if you are going to have kids, you might as well take care of them properly and not leave them at babysitters house 24/7 even on weekends. Many people nowadays do exactly that and only take their kids back when they are in primary achool. Really horrible.

  8. your picture hor… 2nd line.. “Wating”

    and then hor, chinese cannot have kids berlambak like others because others do do do no need to care about kids studies, clothes, welfare, etc ma.

    Semua “orang atas” will take care. no?

  9. sad, sad, one lady coffee shop owner i know oso leave both of her kids (4 & 1)with babysitter 24/7. come weekend, bring kids back home, and starts to whine and complain when the kids dont listen to her lah, cant control them la, no communication la, wont eat her food la… yadda, yadda, yadda.

    got so much money for wat? so many diamonds for wat? cant even be a decent mother to her kids. siao.

  10. Lilian, I fully support your view on this. I just don’t understand why people have kids when they delegate the responsibility of looking after them away. Usually my friends will send their kids to a babysitter but they take them home every night, not like these idiotic parents you encountered.

  11. I happen to agree with you on this subject. Here we have the Chinese( from China) who emigrated here bcos they complained they’re allowed to have only one child in China. When they get here, they produce like rabbits to get Govt. subsidy. Next minute these “children-loving” parents send their kids back to China for the old people to look after because they are too busy. ( for years!!!!)

  12. Wah! Very kumtung leh!
    Very sad to see the kid in the pic just now, I thought he is the abandoned one, very “cham” mah.
    But, the kid is actually your son hor…. Wah, very cute.

  13. Lilian, you took the words out of my mouth… and just think this are the same parents that will scold the kid so harshly with words like this and drive them to depression & even suicide sometimes: –

    “you’re good for nothing!”
    “why are you so stupid! we’ve spend so much MONEY on you”
    “you are an embarassment to the FAMILY!”
    “you’ll prove yourself better if you love US”

    why spend so much money on a child when all he needs is LOVE? What FAMILY? The child grew up with the childminder family? Why should he love you when it was the childminder who feeds, baths & nurtures him?

  14. sorry, this is a little bit too close to home, my mom raised a cousin 24/7 for 5 years – from 30 days old, my uncle visits everyday even though he works in the mainland (as a result they are very close & the son idolise the father), the wife who works in Penang come over the weekend (if she doesn’t any dinner party to attend or tag along to)& the 1st thing she does to show her love for her son is to pick-up a mop & pail to clean the room – the room is clean by the way!!! The she start telling her son he cannot do this & that just to spite my mom & me. she also claims that we spoil the son with too many toys & clothes, nak buat macam mana? my uncle wants to pay my mom for taking care of his son, my mom refuse to accept, so dia buys things for the child with the money la… nak bai pakai those she bought? aiyoyo… old stuff & fabric not suitable for young kids la… and yet we try to jaga hati dia by using her stuffs/hiding the stuffs we bought.

    kalau anak sakit & masuk hospital, dia tarik muka sebab kena ambik cuti. The boy was happy with us, my parents who only had daughters, loves him so much & mmg anggap anak sendiri sampai kdg my sister & I pun jealous 🙂 i used & still refer to him as my brother.

    when the 2nd boy was born, my mom jaga jugak, same old story, until one day my parents was growing through some crisis, uncle decided to take them home, my mom agreed and gave her maid to them so that the transition period won’t be too difficult & with the condition that they come ove during the weekend. What do you think happpened, the mother main dirty politic, the visit started to dwindle & the weekends became just sundays, then she make sure even the sundays are packed with tuition so that they they can’t come.

    The elder one is 15 now, he’s smart, humble and very caring – I guess the good values we instilled on him worked. he used to tell us that the mother will keep on telling him whatever we taught him are wrong and bad & he’ll question us if it is wrong, then why is it it’s the same values taught in school and by everyone else? He once said, ‘I know mummy is my mother and I’m supposed to love her, but I just can’t love her as much as I love you, mama’ my mother scolded him for saying this but deep in her heart she knew how he felt. Banyak lagi incidents that was heartbreaking like when he had to go for circumsision & the mother botched the aftercare and caused severe infection,almost costing him his manhood. As he’s older, he’s begun express himself & is now very close to us & especially my husband, he’s also learn to set his schedule so that it doesn’t clash with sundays, he’s not allowed to sleep over though…:(

    the younger one was spoiled by the mother with materials and this one throws tantrums. Total different in characters, you’ll notice that his formative years was spend with a totally different person. It’s sad, & we try to correct him when we can, but how much can we do? And you can actually see the mother favors the younger one & buys him stuffs for no reason while the older one has to earn everything from the mother! I pray both my ‘brothers’ will grow up a good human & have a good life.

  15. Athene – Thanks for sharing that. Once a kid grows up, it is very hard to bend them like the Malay sayings, melentur (?) buluh biarlah dari rebungnya.

    Tongkat Ah Lian – Tks! I also dunno why that photo come out looking so kesian like dat. Because I took it from a high angle, I think.

    romantic – Oh, we are having old folks home sprouting up here in Penang too. Old folks home, nurseries, confinement homes. From birth till death, there is always somewhere you can send your offsprings/parents to. As long as got money.

    boo – convenient mah.

    Samm – Maybe they will say about us full-time moms – So stupid, spend so much time with the babies for what? Can outsourcing mah. (this term from Lynee)

    Kenneth – If we continue having that ‘no future’ we are going to be the losing party. As in life, if we see stumbling blocks, how to progress?

    jyrenze – Hahaha, in primary school time, delegate to tuition teachers and maids somemore.

  16. Just wondering, most of the comments here seem to attack parents who send their children to nannies, daycare, 24/7 etc… But has anyone stepped into the shoes of the parents? It might be easy to accuse that the parents love money more than the child. But in view of the current cost of living and cost of education, it’s pretty hard to balance between work and family. For example, in KL, it’s an uphill task to support oneself… not to mention some might have to support their parents… Moreover, having a kid means to be prepared for the education of the child… The cost rises every year. Do you expect a parent to quit his/her job to take care of the kid? Maybe quitting is too extreme… To take up a part-time job instead? Sometimes, it’s not as easy as it seems. I just feel that although the actions of the parents who ‘dump’ their kids to 24/7 nurseries are wrong, it’s also important to look at their side of the story… Not all of them have a choice… Especially those who ‘dump’ their kids at their grandparents’ place… Somehow or rather, it’s really up to the parents to decide what is the best for the family. Life is tough, lets not make it tougher by pointing fingers. If you don’t have constructive ideas, don’t be destructive lar…

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