4 years ago – Part One (Bleeding)

9-11 (2001) had me hooked to the TV. I was on the couch almost daily, hoping for some good news inspite of the destructions. Day after day, I would plonked myself there from morning till night. This was during the school holidays. I was staying in Sungai Ara which is a two and a half-storey house.

Sept. 19th saw me driving the children to and fro from school. I wasn’t very comfortable but there wasn’t any signs of any problems in my pregnancy.

September 20th. I couldn’t sleep the whole night. I tossed and turned. Till 4 am. Went to the loo a few times.

Then, when I was about to go for another time, I bled. It is not a simple bleeding but a very big and heavy gush. So much that I panicked and dare not move further as every movement brings on more blood.

Woke my hubby up. Told him to call an ambulance. I know I am in deep trouble as I happened to read something similar in a magazine few days ago. Before that, I asked him to bring me some towels to soak up the blood.

In the midst of all that, I still could plan ahead. Took off all my jewelleries. Calculate if it is ok to leave my children sleeping without telling them.

My eldest was in Standard Four and I know he is reliable. So, I guess it is better to let them sleep through without waking them. They will probably be glad to miss school.

Then, I made a mental note to ask my hubby to make sure that he cleared every blood-stained bedsheets, bolsters and mattress. I wouldn’t want my kids to woke up with the bloody scene. So, I figure out that I would go with the ambulance and he stayed behind to do the chore.

Well, I suppose I am built for stuffs like these. But in between the time waiting for the ambulance, I did let out my fears.

“Please…don’t let anything happen to my baby.”

But just enough to express that fear. I kept reminding myself not to be too sressed out because each movement, whether it is a sob or a cry, I would bleed.

The ambulance was from Penang Adventist Hospital. We were living high up on the hills and there was no way the ambulance can find their way to our home. So, my hubby drove out to the main road to wait for them.

All I could do was to lie there without moving. But the blood still came out in warm stream of liquid. I had never felt so vulnerable until then. I kept telling myself that I am already 28 weeks pregnant. The baby must be able to survive. It seems like an eternity being all alone, waiting for the ambulance.

Finally, the ambulance arrived.

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