Almost giving up…..

After my last shitty post, I had seriously contemplated leaving the blogsphere.

1) I am beginning to feel ashamed of telling people I met I have a blog. Christine met me the other day and asked me to join her for some coffee morning. It is a small playgroup where kids get together and moms chit chat. It is Christian based whereby we were supposed to gather and pray together.

I got a horrifying look because I cannot imagine these nice, sweet, ladies taking a peek at the rubbish I dished out. I swear I never swear in public! LOL.

2) I am worried that one of these days I will end up in hot soup with my own church members. It is hard for people to separate the blog from the person. As I said, there is nothing Catholic about this blog but I DO live a Catholic’s way of life. I swear! Please believe me…..(kehkehkeh)

3) I am going through some tough times at the moment. I have enough of giving (not money ler, I got no money ler) and being taken for granted. Therefore, I can foresee a lot of angsty coupled with mushy posts coming. That is so un-me. (stop laughing!)

As I am writing this, I do not know if it is worth blogging. The current scenes are getting boring to me. Lots of nuts are blogging nowadays. Religions, racism and all those sensitive issues are being flung on the blogsphere. Or on the other end of the scale, lame, dead boring posts are coming out fast and furious. You can say, ignore others, blog for yourself. Abuden, I cannot wor. I like to tsk tsk tsk, ok?

1opera

Limpeh sudah jemu
Tiap-tiap hari jadi lembu
Jaga anak, jaga laki
Sampai sendiri badan berdaki

Ada masa, goyang kaki
Kasi belog make everyone happy
Tapi sendiri hati banyak sakit
Kalau belog nanti chiqik

2opera

Jadi saya pun sudah aiyer
Mau belog atau pergi retire
Jadi kaypohchee dan siu-lai-lai
Tapi gua akan naik giler

Mulut tajam mana mau hentam
Kalau bukan di 5kalimom
Tapi risiko sudah tinggi
Advice lu boleh bagi?

*Fark, what I said was : I am at a crossroad. I cannot go on blogging because my real personality clashed with my blog personality. I cannot decide if it is worth the risk. I cannot let go of my blogging passion either. Damn, I don’t know what I want. Banging head on keyboard. BTW, the photos were photoshopped and meant for some sandiwara post that I had planned to write. Just insert them here for no purpose.*

Pantun format inspired by AhPek.

41 Replies to “Almost giving up…..”

  1. Eh auntie lilian, you cannot simply leave belog lor .. y ler? i tell u hor, if jeff ooi is the father of belog hor, then you are the mother of the belog lor .. so u better think think hor

  2. I think you are confused!

    You have forgotten the fun of living and living life to the fullest.

    It does seemed that we are trying to be less human and steering our spiritual life on the path of angel life.

    God made us human; so be human and enjoy yourself.

    If you are determined to leave blogsphere, nothing can stop you. But you will lose part of the fun and love inculcated.

  3. Aiyah Lilian, you’re just going through the doldrums. if got no lows where got all the highs πŸ™‚ Just a temporary blog..er.. I mean.. block . I hope you dont quit unless, you feel its taking you away from other things you would enjoy better. Frankly , after reading your blog for the past few months, I dont see you mixing with some quiet play group for long without getting bored. Your food blogs brought back a lot of childhood memories ( still hoping on an article or photo on that Indian guy who goes around peddling nyonya kueh with the little pot of laksa soup hanging around the pole.)and LOL i learnt a lot of latest swear words in malaysia hehehe

  4. hm… im not wise enough (or old enough.. haha) to give good advice la, but i do enjoy reading this blog, and i drop by here daily to see if there are any updates. πŸ™‚

    and hor, real personality and blog personality not both you meh? maybe just two opposite sides of the same coin. if you’re worried about people in real life being offended by the blog, then warn them first before they visit, or something. πŸ˜›

    also i dont find the swearing offensive actually. at least it lets you let off steam right? hehe.

    all the best!

  5. aunty..dont quit .. just take it easy.
    Blog less maybe? Since we cannot stop people from reading our blog then maybe change style abit? But then it will be different..not the usual aunty lilian blogging anymore. i think i just contradicted myself somewhere. But one thing i learnt is when friends ask about the content of the blog you can say it’s fictional bla bla bla

  6. well… I could care less of what others say of me πŸ˜›
    I read what I like and write I what like… so I think all bloggers should do the same… racism and hate instigation bloggers aside that is πŸ˜€

  7. Hi Lilian,

    I don’t blog but yours is the only blogging I read. BTW, you should never stop blogging cause every morning when I come into the office(I’m a working mother), yr site is the first one I open every morn and every thing you hv to say, makes me feel like, oh! okay, so I’m not the only person who goes thru this and yr blogging is so refreshing to read cause you blog about anything and everything…keep up the good work!

  8. simon says: screw dem ppl and blog for yourself. if we just blog for ppl to read then we become like some ‘fehmes’ guyblogger we know, what’s his name again?

    anyways, the way ppl judge us show a lot of their own insecurities and shortcoming.

  9. aiyoo….while reading ur pantun, i could see it :

    ah pek teaching u the ropes. yioh….wat a sight! πŸ˜› lol….

    well, it’s something that u’ll have to think about and decide. but watever it is, do it for urself. πŸ™‚

  10. Hey.. Lilian,
    Sorry to hear that you are in the midst of a crossroad as to whether to continue blogging or not.
    I kinda been thru’ this time and again too .. myself. And if you stop blogging.. it would be a very sad day for me.
    So donch make me so sad hor..?? Very lonely in canada ok..!

  11. Oh. You’re having the double talking heads syndrome thingy. This too shall pass, Lilian. This too shall pass. Tho you cuss and everything on the blog, anyone reading deep enuf can see the other you. So similarly, in the other way around, if anyone you know out of blogosphere takes offence to anything that you write here, then they do not know you well enough, do they? I am confident that you will choose the right path in the crossroads for yourself. Cheers. BTW, this post is so funny, especially the pics! Hahaha. The funny thing about blogosphere is sometimes you care about ppl you haven’t met and they care about you more than even your neighbours, friends or relations. Strange thing I can’t quite comprehend but its true.

  12. dont ever stop blogging!!! *breaks down to tears* Already the blogosphere is lacking great bloggers like yourself. You leaving is like leaving us all to die of hunger…please stay ok? *sniff sniff*

    although I have a feeling its just temporary. You’ll be roaring back in no time! Just take a break, and come back and amuse us with your humour once again. ^_^

  13. Lilian,
    The feeling will go away. May be you need a short break from blogging, but don’t stop. You’ve been writing a lot of great topics. Sometimes people don’t like what we write about, but we write not to please others but to answer our heart deisre, aren’t we?

  14. lilian, your pantun is inspired and so is your blog, it is fine to take a rest and take check but don’t get too stressed about it.

    actually there isn’t anything embarrasing about your blog personality so why are you feeling weird about it? I thought by now you will be able to accept you as you, cussing and all.

  15. Why the clash? And why the clash causing you to bang your head? Your enema didn’t work well enough kah?

    Relax lah. I thought this blog was for fun only??

  16. Liu lian liu lian in crossroad
    See left see right like a toad
    She thinks that she is in hot soup
    Want to stop blogging and start a book

    Buthen she is born a kaypochee
    Everyday must write a few stories
    So Lilian, please take it easy
    Stop blogging means you bosan till mati
    So donÒ€ℒt stop, kie?

  17. hiya lilian, I guess as your blog grows…you need to also be more mindful about what you say…seriously just using the “it’s my blog I can do whatever I want” I’ve come to realize is rather a chidlish demeanor of defending one’s blog. That’s the price we have to pay when our blog becomes more known to the public…

    now having said that, that doesn’t mean you need to only blog about “ideal and good” things. You can be tactful and critical when you blog about certain controversial issues.

    I’ve found your blog to always make me laugh and smile …and I’m sure people who read your blog will know that you’re just being humourous…it’s a vast difference from being humourous and sarcastic…

    if it helps…take a break from blogging… just see to other things…a break always helps clear things up πŸ™‚

    hope things get better for you πŸ™‚

  18. Lilian..you blog for yourself, no? To express your thoughts, no? Everyone has an opinion (like me!!) and you can’t live to please others. So carry on. Agree to disagree. The day everyone thinks like you do now is the day we turn into soul-less robots..

  19. Lilian dearest,

    I happened to log in to your website this afternoon and was `shocked’ to read about your post of leaving the blogspher…..pls la! I really hate to see you quiting because you are not a quitter. You should see it in a different perspective like I do for my blogs. Treat is as thereaputic, a place of solace where you can unleash your other side. We are only humans. And being Catholic or Christian or whatever it doesn’t change us to be more `holy’. I am different in that sense. I am a Christian but I don’t have a narrow mentality to judge others like other Christians do. Like they don’t curse or swear or talk or think dirty. Please…even inhabiting the above in the mind is just as sinful. So why hide when you can express yourself. As long as your concious is clear and people respect you stick to it! I look up to you dear as an example and a really terrific mother and what more an gift from God. If not for your efforts and kind heart, many people would have been left stranded but you have indeed touched many souls and people with your efforts. Be it devilish, angelic….does it matter? What is important is being yourself and speak it honestly. Yes blog is an epidemic. It’s the in thing now like Coffee Bean. Everyone wants a blog because they want some sort of `attention’ and be proud of owning a site/url. Believe me it will fade away like the chat scenes which once was booming. It’s matter of time when another person starts something perhaps a dating online site where people can meet and be paid for? So DON’T U EVER QUIT ON ME! xoxoxox flowsnow

  20. If you stop oso, then the rest of us left with dead boring blogs only πŸ™

    At many points, I realized I blogged differently than my real self. Then I realized it’s part of me. A part that never existed or used to exist in real life. Of course I’m afraid if someone I do know in rael life, starts reading my blog. Because they would clearly see someone else. Someone they never knew. Then I would have to explain to them. And all that stuff. So far though, either they know but pretending not to know, or they just couldn’t be bothered. Either way is fine by me, as long they don’t bug me.

    Just in case, I follow a guideline I set for myself. Which limits the kind of things I want to write. Some people will look at ‘limits’ as something evil. Everything should be free they say. Well, limits are there for a reason. As long as you don’t overuse them or underuse them, they should work fine.

    I hope you don’t decide to stop. Take holiday frm blogging la. Think dalam-dalam. What you like about blogging. What you don’t like. What made you want to blog in the first place…

    Okla komen aku pun dah panjang sangat. Dah boleh buat karangan pulak. Hope you don’t stop la ye. Bye

  21. I hope you won’t leave the blogosphere. After all we all blog for ourselves not for our readers. I really like your blog because you are being yourselve and your writing style really make me come back more. Daily some more. If you leave blogosphere, that means the Malaysian bloggerland will lose yet another good blogger.
    I hope you won’t quit blogging.

  22. Do you really enjoy blogging this way? Then how about using a pseudonym? Well, I don’t think you need to be comforted because this is a real situation that is happening to you. Can you put up with the way people judge you based on your blog? If not, then I suggest you use a pseudonym, or a separate identity online. How about that?

  23. Hey, it doesn’t matter what others think, but most important is what would Jesus thinks if He reads your blog?Its a great blog by the way:)

  24. i cant go through each of the comments at the moment, so, am sorry if this has been said already.

    i find that, at times, after a certain period of time, i get a bit tired of the charade of people in the blogging community and then question my reason being on the net. the first time it happened, i thought i got tired of blogging and that it was weighing me down. but now i know better. if that happens, it usually means i need a break from blogging. like a really long hiatus. at one point, even lost readership. heheh. but well, i came back a stronger me.

    so far, its been good.

  25. follow thy heart. mine said “Blog ON!” a strong heart makes a better person than a strong headed guy (not the other head, ok?). lotsa lub flom kayel πŸ™‚

  26. Lilian,

    I appeal to your human side, for you see I am also human. Let me share with you my favourite poem. This poem gave me much hope in times when I felt all was lost. And I hope it’ll bring you comfort in your times of need.

    JOY AND SORROW – by Khalil Gibran Khan.

    Then a woman said, “Speak to us of Joy and Sorrow.”

    And he answered:

    Your joy is your sorrow unmasked.

    And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with your tears.

    And how else can it be?

    The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.

    Is not the cup that hold your wine the very cup that was burned in the potter’s oven?

    And is not the lute that soothes your spirit, the very wood that was hollowed with knives?

    When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy.

    When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.

    Some of you say, “Joy is greater than sorrow,” and others say, “Nay, sorrow is the greater.”

    But I say unto you, they are inseparable.

    Together they come, and when one sits alone with you at your board, remember that the other is asleep upon your bed.

    Verily you are suspended like scales between your sorrow and your joy.

    Only when you are empty are you at standstill and balanced.

    When the treasure-keeper lifts you to weigh his gold and his silver, needs must your joy or your sorrow rise or fall.

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