The mother of all Ah Lians

*some Ah Lians and Ah Beng were sacrificed in order to bring this post to you*

I saw a group of super extreme Ah Lians with an Ah Beng. Did not pay much attention to them. One was super blonde with a ‘phua khek’ (like Rod Stewart with sore throat kinda tone) voice. Two were rather young. The one that caught my eyes was someone wearing shocking pink spaghetti strap with a short skirt.

From the back, I saw her skin like someone with super allergies to seafood or third degree chicken pox. Her legs with varicose veins were for all to see because she was wearing a super short skirt. The high heels made her walk in an odd way. Like got hernia like that.

Still, I did not want to pay much attention. You know, I am not a bitchy busybody in real person? (you are given permission to LOL) Then, the 4 super Ah Lians and Ah Beng walked nearer and nearer to me. They pointed out to my toddler and started jabbering in Hokkien as if I am deaf. As usual, my toddler was super cute and hence, always draw people’s attention.

Blonde Ah Lian and Ah Beng suddenly stuck together like dogs on heat. I just hate it when adults have to do that in front of my kids. Luckily, my older two sons weren’t nearby. If we are in some foreign countries where showing of affections is common, then there is nothing wrong to it. But for goodness sake, we were in a public park in Malaysia in broad daylight! And that is not showing of affection but lust.

That’s it. I got super irritate. Firstly, their voices were way too loud, polluting my peaceful afternoon. Secondly, the male and female were acting like they were in their bedroom. Thirdly, the other three Ah Lians were saying how cute my toddler is like he is a specimen in a zoo, disregarding my presence.

So, I observed. My, oh my, the shocking pink Ah Lian is actually more than 50 years old! What in the world is a 50 years old woman with bad skin, flabby arms and rolls of lards plus varicose veins legs wearing that kind of dress? With blue eyeshadow and pink lipstick, somemore. Gasp! Gasp!

Suddenly, blonde Ah Lian called out her sister (I guess they are sisters ‘cos they look similar). Told another sister to take photo. And said, ‘Mak, ah Mak, gim che leh hor wa’ (Mother, hold this for me.) The thing is a box of mooncake (one week after Mooncake festival?) in a transparent plastic bag.

After that, blonde Ah Lian called out in her phua khek voice, “Bert, Bert (or is it bird bird?), lai laaaa, lai heep siau eng” (come take photo)

So, that woman is the mother of the three Ah Lians. The mother of all Ah Lians. Too bad I did not bring my own camera that afternoon.

Hey, it is not nice to kutuk people, ok? But I can kutuk ‘coz I bueh tahan looking at Ah Beng grinding himself while holding blonde Ah Lian who is in front of him with her mother nearby. If I am that mother, I would cut off Bert Bert’s bird bird, I tell ya. Tak senonoh betul.

43 Replies to “The mother of all Ah Lians”

  1. egghead – Lu tak caya sama gua kah?

    Adam – Good also. Otherwise, if Berg Berg or Bert Bert sees me, he prolly smashed me up like the camera.

    belacans – hahaha, it sounds like Bert as in Albert, the fav. macho name for Ah Bengs. (no offence to all the Alberts in the world, please)

  2. lilian, make it a habit so that your bag is where you always store your cam – this way you have it with you all the time 🙂

  3. eeww… this post rilly gross me out… simply cannot imagine mum watching bf grinding into daughter… in broad daylight summore *pukes*

  4. 50yo Ah Lian ? u mean like the one on the petronas ad for CNY, She came in a beng-satria to pick up the ole man..

    P.S. I bet she wore black bra….

  5. Wu ching – Usually I bring but I missed taking it along last Friday. I got some stuffs to show later.

    Max – Make it pink! NO lah, black is more likely.

    Yvonne – Prolly I go to the wrong kind of place I think.

    Max – Hahaha, I know which you are talking about.

    chief – Penang is full of ‘interesting’ people.

    Yvy – Ya, wasted opportunity!

    Mister Moy – Awww, was it my writing or observation?

  6. bawang merah – More like sorority house or watchacallit mamasan?

    q – I used to do that until my toddler started rummaging my stuffs and damaged my camera once. Now, I have to keep it high on the shelf and hence, usually forget to grab it when I am going out.

    sue – Yalar, these people really tak senonoh punya. Tak kira what race, they would menyondol di depan budak-budak. Benci.

    egghead – Oklah, next post.

    Simon – Got photo liao. Wait I mosaic-ted the face first.

  7. 5xmom, I think I read this before. A HK column writer turn tour guide has wrote about his Japan trip with his tour member. Very similar(in numbers), and the Ah Beng is actually younger brother of those Ah Lian. Except all of them dye the hair in different color – blue, red, green, gold. And he mentioned the member are from SEA. Don’t tell me this is the same family(but hey, how many family will do this?).

    The punch line is about their father.

  8. Just So You Know…awww, don’t worry, it is not a crime to be an Ah Lian or an Ah Beng like you.

    CLF -Heh, what is za dao? I no understand Cantonese leh.

    moo_t – You really confused me la. What punch line?

  9. Dear Lilian,
    I understand there is the freedom of expression in your induvidual blog and you certainly have every single right to condemn or criticise people who you think deserved it. But it is such a irony do you know that? You kept saying you yourself as a faithful Christian should not have the so called ‘double’standard. Just like the husband that fuck around all the time and try to make up by buying more diamonds for the wife..its not the point isn;t it? I’m not trying to tell you what you should do or criticising you but you as a influencial blogger in Malaysia should not set the trend of ‘anti’ other people. They might deserve all the laughing and bad remarks for being Ah Lian or publicly showing their lust but ,heck,what is your problem? You might say ‘Don’read if you don’t like Lilian’s opinion but you are such a pain in the arse’What if somebody criticise you by saying ‘ Gosh,look at that middle age village lady who took photo of every single stuff with all of his children tagging along..geezz..its so kampong-ish’Then i guess you will have the taste of your own medicine. I past you by a couple of time while i was in Gurney plaza you look like any other ordinary mom. But your words are bitter sometimes.and its just not right to being too dominent in this cyber space,everyone have the patience, you are asking other not to test yours with you Poo Hui but you are being unreasonable with your remarks so why can’t people make some remarks about you. I know you been through a lot and see many things but jeez,who doesn’t? Please delete this comment if you think my words are just not right or ashamed to be posted for others to read.

  10. UK expat,

    What exactly is the point you wanted to make here? Are you trying to imply that religion forbids people to form their own opinion and post it for the public?

    The social space is public. Lilian saw, Lilian blogged. And she elicited public/second opinions, which, generally, ruled against the Ah Lian and Ah Beng culture. And you wanted to use her religion to shut her up? I think you are having a bigger problem than her. May your God forgive you.

    And what’s with this ordinary look and her words? You have problem with people with ordinary look dominating the cyberspace? Get a bloody life and go play with yourself in the toilet. Say hello to your five best friends.

    From what I see, you are trying to protect someone close to you who is trying to fall into the Ah Lian/Ah Beng category. Your own parents, perhaps?

  11. Hello UK Expat – Whoa…you seems to have a lot of issues with the world. Why not sort it out? You need to do that, you know? Not healthy to keep all those angsty feelings inside. Blogging is a good way. BTW, thank you for noticing me. Say hello the next time? BTW, who is Poo Hui?

    Quoted here:
    you are asking other not to test yours with you Poo Hui

    Oh ya, I won’t delete ‘cos there is nothing to be ashame of.

  12. Well,maybe I should assure the expat community that we have to see things from the eye of third world Soviet country’s villager’s mind like Russian Expat’s. Is that somekind of Communism system here??I beg to differ as I’m not necessary must have lots of issue ith the world to express my opinion.

    “”The social space is public. Lilian saw, Lilian blogged. And she elicited public/second opinions, which, generally, ruled against the Ah Lian and Ah Beng culture. And you wanted to use her religion to shut her up? I think you are having a bigger problem than her. May your God forgive you.””

    First of all, I did not intend to shut her off or using any religious sensitive issue but just my confusion on the IRONY principle of hers. We are brought up the way of expressing oneself, nobody should shut anybody up, but just to be liberate and have debates and share different opinions. It might be the issue of cultural differences but well, I am express my concern on any potential hate crime or discrimination which is of course a very vulnerable issue in this small island.

    “”Get a bloody life and go play with yourself in the toilet. Say hello to your five best friends.””

    Don’t you think its soo last-millennialism sentense to use. Its remind me of the rude behaviour of the Southern of having great pleasure by cursing.

    “”From what I see, you are trying to protect someone close to you who is trying to fall into the Ah Lian/Ah Beng category. Your own parents, perhaps?””

    The point I’m trying to make is to make sure the society does not fall into the trend of laughing at each other. Do you think it will be fun if the Bengs and Lians strike back and all the bloody words and hate began all over. No doubt everybody have the right to express their opinion the way the blog owner does but it could LEAD to an unhealthy trend.That’s my point.

    I does not intend to cause any offence to the owner.

    PEace!

    P/s: Oh Lilian, Poo Hui suppose to mean blazzing with anger in Hokkien or something like that isn’t it?

  13. UK expat,

    You have problem with Communism? What has your God taught you? Don’t reflect badly on your so-called God. You are embarassing Him.

    Her principle, thanks to your ‘God’, is not as irony as yours.

    And you think your ‘northen-ness’ is superior? Go shove the entire northpole up your ass.

    The fact is, you’ve caused offence to her readers. Now shut the fuck up and make like a tree.

  14. Please forgive UK expat.

    I’m another ‘UK expat’ and I’m greatly embarassed by him. Please forgive us.

    Lilian, kudos to you.

  15. “”The fact is, you’ve caused offence to her readers. Now shut the fuck up and make like a tree.””

    The sad piece of evidence from the concept of communism and hate crime show it all with the words. Why should people keep their mouth shut when they trying to make a opinion of what they think??

    Another point, GOd is not an issue here but just a mere comparison which I did not use anymore in my second reply due to the emotional evoke by one particular reader. My opinion is more on Humanity and harmonious and not hate crime and simply ask some other people to ‘f**k off’..Libertarianism and PEACE rules!

    By the way, I don’t need forgiveness as I don’t think express my point of view is something to be ashamed of. “” I’m greatly embarassed by “”him”” By the way, not Him but her.

  16. Russian expat,its for you!отъебись!дерьмо отсоси
    дьявол бог. иди в жопу!!!

  17. UK expat,

    Where’s your manners? Please behave yourself in another person’s website. The least you could do is to send a personal email to her instead of this public display. Stop bringing our country down further.

  18. Yvy – Hahaha, very spicy flavour. Someone who calls herself a UK expat got powderful Ingrish indeed. I read enough Hardy Boys and Nancy Drew to know liao la. HOHOHO.

    Another UK Expat – Thank you very much for your kind words. 🙂

    Russian Expat – You are so funny but true. Thank you.

    UK Expat – Go get a life. And take some evening primrose oil for your PMS.

  19. About the punchline : you haven’t see the father of the all Ah Lians.. 😉

    Their father didn’t dye the hair. But..
    .
    .
    .
    Tatoo is all over his body.

  20. Malaysian expat in Malaysia,

    Down with the Ahlians!!!! they are the reason why pink colored spaghetti straps (size L for women) and sleeveless t-shirts (for men, with dragon imprints) cost so much!!!

  21. Simon – LOL, Msian expat. Like that oso can ah?

    moo_t – OIC, the kind that can ‘cham'(chop) you into 18 pieces?

    Yvy – Hehehe, ‘cos we read Nancy Drew and Hardy Boys mah.

  22. Chicken pox is one hell of a nasty disease, it ruined my flawless skin a couple of years ago..’:

  23. Chicken pox is one hell of a nasty disease, it ruined my flawless skin a couple of years ago.*,*

Comments are closed.