I wrote something about this last night but decided to delete it. I think this is not healthy. I am censoring my thoughts because I don’t want to make one or two persons feel slighted, just in case they found me writing about them.
But heck, I hope there is some moral of the story to other people. This is not being judgemental but rather, digging deep into our mind.
Case 1 – Wennie (not her real name of course!)
She is soft-spoken with a heart of gold. Not drop dead gorgeous but ok lah. She is friendly (but not ‘hiao’) so finding a life partner is not that hard. But she fell in love with one Bukit Aman guy who cheated off her life savings when she was only 20+. It doesn’t matter to her because she said he was a nice man. After that, she had an affair with her married colleague, holding out for him. At the same time, she has this rich, divorced, gynae boyfriend from Singapore. So, two part-time lovers at the same time. Now, she is not your regular sex-siren kinda SPG type of girl. She is just your typical, clerk-colleague.
She doesn’t need the guys for their money. She feels that they need her because :
Guy 1 – claimed his wife is unloving
Guy 2 – claimed that he has no time for another committment
So, there she is in a limbo, waiting for their calls, waiting for their summons and practically, have no life of her own. She is older than me and is still waiting for one of them to make a commitment. (fat chance!)
Why is she so needy? Getting into relationships not suitable for her and yet expecting something to happen, which nevers. And most of the times, eventhough she did not show it, she is ashamed of the relationships, especially with the married colleague. As for the gynae, she had to fit into his doctor’s schedule and that means shuttling KL-Spore on flights at his fancy.
I can’t explain why women would do this. But I know two more women in relationships like these. Depending on men to provide them the ‘complete satisfaction’ feelings. I am not referring to the sexual type but the self-worth one.
P/s : Married guy knew about her rich, gynae boyfriend but gynae boyfried did not know married guy/her boss is also part-time bed partner.
haaaiii…donno what to say.
sometimes people just wanna feel loved rather than feel lonely kua.
intro to me !!!!
Wingz, sure or not? You can play around meh?
Anyway, women want to feel needed. To make them feel useful, then they’re satisfied. Maybe.
I’m glad u put this up again but I’m just as mystified as you. I know a girl who’s always complaining about her husband not caring/loving her and berfoya-foya around. She’s caught him several times and yet she’s super wife/lover, idolizes him and continue to lay herself down like an old sponge, stepped on and soaked in misery. He’s a cool, callous cat who continues doing what he likes and does not even react even when she threatens to divorce him! When we ask her why she’s still so nice she says it’s coz she loves him so much…sigh, I don’t get it. Maybe these ladies are the angels on earth we are looking for.
KittyCat – Hahaha, that is really a mystery to us women.
These three buayas – ahpek, wingz and willwolf confirmed that all married men do not mind an affair or two as long as there are willing, tangle-free girls ready to throw their lives for the relationship, isn’t it? True or not? But of course, I know ah pek, wingz and willwolf are not like that la. They sked of bini wan….Dun play-play wan.
totoro – You are right about the ‘love’ part but I think if a woman can love herself more then she wouldn’t need these fixes.
Lilian,
Self-proclaimed expert here: Your friend has low self esteem. She needs other people’s affection to justify her existence. She had this incurable urge to feel needed and loved.. it doesn’t matter if she’s getting a bad deal, the most important thing to her is the sense of being loved.
Hopefully, she’ll one day meet someone who will not take advantage of her.
FOC 2 sens
helen – With you, I dare to say this la. If one can feels the love of God in them, the person will not need to assure herself with these temporary, fleeting moment kinda feel good, right?
CONFIDENTIAL: TO LILIAN. OTHERS READ AT OWN RISK **
Yes lor. Just pray for her lar. With God all things are possible….
one mountain kenot hold 2 tigers……
She should have live in Tibet, no legal burden. Polygamy still practice there(one woman many man), no more loneliness. 😉
One word…complicated…^_^”
Hoiks n greetings to everyone old, young, ladies, gentlemens…er… kids? hello lilian, i’ve been reading ur blog for like a month or 2 to actually finish the whole years worth of content!…*fuih*…finally phinish also.*wEe~*
Well… regarding to this topic i have a friend who’s only 18 (same age like me lah) but has been 2/3 timing guy at the same time, she self-claimed that she’s not used to being single… like when she no feelings for A, she’ll hang on to him (but dun dare to tell him lah) then go for B behind A’s back and at the same time flirt with C…her reason? if one fei her, she got another 2 to keep her company…
Thank goodness that now she finally settled for one (nope… not A, B, C…but E! *i think*)… so i guess my answer would be got used to the feeling of being wanted and noticed?
p/s: sorry for all the “…” my lingo…lolz
And are you saying men aren’t needy?
may be this is wat we call as excitement. I know many gals like to do this. get 2 felor at the same time. may be they think that tis can show to others tat she still very “laku”
Hey.. Lilian,
I’m not an expert..! thank God..!! and God forbid..!! but some ppl donch come from a loving upbringing.. therefore a need to find someone.. as a companion.. and hope that something good may turn out .. is the tendency for such relationships. Ppl like Wennie .. prolly have low self esteem too.. and needs lots of attention i think. But like i said.. i am no expert.. but until they find someone really decent.. they will continue to fall for the wrong guy for the wrong reasons.
when sex is mistaken for Love.
midnite lily could be the answer to my actions. we are both married. we know the consequences. we know the price we have to pay. yet we cant stop. we love to chat. we love spending time together. we love the intimate moments. we care for one another. we tried to split. many times. but ended up even closer. yet, we cant afford to lose our spouse. and worst, each other. what went wrong??