Lunch with a grave digger

My kids asked for nasi lemak near my place. The shop sells delicious nasi lemak, fried chicken and great teh tarik.

It is only 20-30 metres from the Batu Gantung cemetery. So, I took the pack of brats to this very run-down, zinc roofed shed for nasi lemak. The sky turned so dark and the labourers around there piled into the place for some shade.

Wow, do you know how loud the noise of heavy rain pelting on zinc roofs? Like airplane landing like that. So thrilling, man! Hot nasi lemak, cold teh ais and the wind blowing hard, dark sky and sitting down with grave diggers. I know they are grave diggers ‘cos they are talking about which grave is for whom etc. Wow, I felt like I am in some Camel Trophy or those rugged products advertisement. The only things missing are a glass of oh kau (Guiness Stout) and a tembakau in my mouth.

Being trapped there for a while, I recalled something that I must absolutely blog today for my future generations information.

7 years ago, my mom died. My atm arranged for burial, i.e. going up to tell the graveyard administrator about the arrangements and stuffs. So, this old man, let’s name him Ah Pek, had PMS. He ranted on and on about this certain committee member of the graveyard administration. We call this guy Sly.

Ah Pek told my atm that Sly is a very mean guy. Sly had done a dirty trick few years ago. He shifted the direction of the tomb of his relative, referred here in as Grandpa (sorry hor, I can’t reveal the relation of Sly to Grandpa) to favour Grandpa daughters. You see, Ah Pek was instructed by Grandpa’s sons to dig the grave in certain direction. Sons went with some fengshui master to choose the plot for Grandpa. Grandpa was the lucky guy to be the first guy to be buried in a new plot of land. Hallelujah, Grandpa is king of the hills, you see.

After the burial and before the set up of the tomb, Sly used his office power (as the admin committee) instructed the tomb maker to shift the direction of the tomb because he wanted Grandpa’s daughters to prosper. Ah Pek told atm that he is disgusted with Sly because if Grandpa’s wife died in future, and if the person who digs the grave is not Ah Pek, major tragedy will happen. You see, the coffin face one angle. The tomb face a senget (skew) direction. If you dig the next hole according to the direction of the tomb, the grave digger will strike on the coffin of grandpa.

Ah Pek in his KNNMCBLCPK told my atm that if that happens, it will wipe off Grandpa’s male descendants. In Chinese fengshui, it is extremely bad luck if the ancestors’ graves are messed with.

Atm went home, ashen face and told me. Guess whose grave is that? My father-in-law! You can say it is pure coincidence that Ah Pek ranted or higher intervention. And KNNMCB, the male descendants Ah Pek referred to are my sons! I had two sons at that time and I was pregnant with another. Can you imagine how freaked out I was? Ah Pek has absolutely no idea that when he was ranting to my atm, he was actually referring to atm’s father. And my father-in-law was the famous ‘king of the hill’ and hence, there was no mistake about it as Ah Pek did mention the real name of Sly.

Since we cannot 100% trusted Ah Pek, he being a grave digger, we did not approach Sly. (By now, you guessed who is Sly liao hor? The son-in-law of grandpa aka my atm’s sis’s husband) I kept that fear for years until my mother-in-law died. My atm personally went to supervise the grave digging and repeatedly told the grave digger to be careful and only dig the width needed for my mother-in-law’s coffin to go in.

Until today, we never asked Sly if Ah Pek’s accusation is true. We know Sly has contacts with all these mediums and etc as his family opens a joss-sticks factory. And today, Sly has became very weak and not long after Grandpa aka my father-in-law died, he had turned almost blind. But at one time, when Vincent died, I did wonder if it was all these fengshui messing that caused his death. (of course, I no longer think about that)

Thank God, today, I no longer worry about all these ‘change of fate’ stuffs. It can come true because we do not know what we are messing with. So, in God I trust. And life and death, good luck and bad luck are in God’s hands.

Now you know why Chinese placed so much emphasis on graves. Me? Next time I prefer my ashes being scattered at sea. My son said it is environmental friendly and provides organic waste. Alternatively, he said can also be fed to the fishes, save the burning and cut down on air pollution.

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16 thoughts on “Lunch with a grave digger”

  1. Like the chinese saying goes : “Ling Hor Sun Kei Yau Pat Hor Sun Kei Mou” – Better to believe that it exists than not at all. Dun mess with the unknown.

  4. chinese emphasize too much on feng shui, what happens when there’s not enough land for graves like singapore or hong kong? no money no feng shui lor! when u die u die lor, what feng shui? what about those ancient graves from long ago? what feng shui now? they dig them out to make room for the living! there go ur feng shui liaw!

  7. Lilian,

    I’m not bragging, but it’s the truth… ever since I embraced Christianity, I am really set free. Superstitions are very dangerous stuffs. People are eternally binded by fear. Unfounded fear.
    *BTW, do Roman Catholic churches have speakers to give testimonies?? Christian churches usually do. Last time we had this born-again former feng shui master share testimony. It was such a revelation!!*

  8. i believe that if you do something to “hai” other (innocent) ppl, one day you will terima balasan.

    i don’t exactly believe in god, but (strangely) i do believe in karma. what goes around comes around.

  9. WHO wan to dig grave? who wan to dig grave? one hole 8,888 ringgit only! special discount for the first 10 callers. contact my manager, auntie lilian.

  13. king’s wife – Ya, dun play play.

    JoeC – Wuah, somemore must select Bora-Bora, with bikini clads SYTs throwing petals too?

    mia – Frankly, I got no idea. I know my friend cremated her 4 mth old baby. Afterall, the body is just a body.

    ah pek – 50-50, ok?

    hedonistic – Ya, karma.

    helen – No, our Church is not the charismatic version. We are the solemn-solemn kinda worshipping. I know the Methodists do have these, though. Once, a former medium gave his testimony. Wuah, from medium he turned to Christ. (What I said to helen is between helen and I, hor? Don’t peek-peek, ok?)

    egghead – It was more than that. Can you imagine living with the fear for many years on the basis that ‘all your sons will be wipe off the earth’ kinda weight looming? There have been many cases where this sort of thing did happen. One son after another died until they did something to the grave of the ancestors.

    Lil’ Patchee – The Buddhist way of accepting funerals are now more prevalent amongst the Chinese and hence, this practice is more common now.

    Wuching – If I can afford, I also want a huge resting place. But in Penang, usually these runs into RM30K-RM40K. I would say, if the children can well afford it, it is good they do so for their parents but it is not supposed to be done with the intention of benefitting them. You know what I mean? As a filial piety but not as a ‘i expect to reap benefits’ kinda action.

    Fiona – My boys are straightforward to the point. And I have no qualms talking about death with them because they had been through so many funerals.

    narrowband – Not only the tomb. The columbarium where people place the urn with the ashes also come in many different category of prices. From about RM4K to RM40K. I mean, if we can afford it, it is good to do/spend the max for the deceased. Usually, old folks want that assurances that they will be placed to rest with great respect. We normally do not skim on funeral expenses if we can afford it.

    Samm – Play safe, follow the crowd.

  15. MamaBok – It doesn’t scare me anymore. Anyway, I know my father-in-law and mother-in-law love my atm to bits and my MIL adored my #3 son. So, they are our guardian angels,as with Vincent. šŸ™‚

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