WTF is ‘Feminine Fertile Women’?

“In evolutionary terms, it makes sense for men to favour feminine fertile women – those that did would have had more babies,” she added.

I was bumping around for health stuffs to write for Mom’s Daily (my much neglected parenting blog). I found this article which made me LOL. It is like cavemen era where cavemen went around with their clubs to find fertile women. Give a whack on the head, cavewoman sees stars and birdies flying around in circles, cavemen drag cavewomen back into his cave and whambamthankyoumam. Tadddaaaa, 9 months later, little cavebaby is born to fight dinosaurs.

But hey, the same principle applies till now. Some smart people with big titles did a research in some big university and yeah, men are still hunting for women they can lay and get babies.

Well, I quickly ran to the mirror and see which part of me is feminine fertile and try to find my prettiness. Oohlala, I have stats to prove mah. But CCB, where got true? According to the study, men are supposed to favour women with big eyes, big lips, small nose, small chin. I have small eyes, big nose, normal lips and round face. But I still have cavemEn hunting me once upon a time, and I procreate 5 times what.

Then, I read further before refuting the research analysis:

“The findings about make-up are also interesting. The implication is that women are employing a deceptive strategy. They can fool the male visual system with make-up.”

Of which, I agree. True, true, so true. I used to wear liquid eyeliner. If you are a woman, you would know that liquid eyeliner only works in expert hands. Otherwise, it will turn a woman into a reversible panda. My hands are super expert because I was a secretary with nothing to do but primming my face. So, with mascara and eyeliner, plus some double-eyelid tricks, my almond-shape eyes became large. And with ample lipgloss and lipstick, muaks, muaks, muaks. Add some darker tone eyeshadows along the side of the nose, my Jackie Chan’s nose become smaller and clever use of blusher and I got the FEMINE FERTILE caveWOMAN’s look.

Aha, I am being generous today and will impart some more feminine secrets. Sometimes, people read but don’t really understand what they read especially when it comes to scientific studies.

The team of psychologists at the University’s Perception Lab photographed 59 young women’s faces aged between 18 and 25 and analysed their sex hormone levels.

See? How attractive a woman is to a man lies in how balanced their hormones are. So, go get that hormones balance out and stop revelling in being a PMS-ing woman. If one doesn’t watch the hormones, soon you gonna end up on the shelf. (no offence to women who chosed to be singles, ok?)

I know for certain that when a woman is in love, in crush or wateva, she looks simply radiant. And if cavewoman intends to own caveman all to herself and not giving caveman the opportunity to run after other cavewomen, then, she gotta make sure that feminine fertile looks stay.

So, excuse moi, me gonna take a nap so that my droopy eyes look larger. I stayed up till 5 am this morning but my beloved hubby dragged me out of bed at 9 am to go for breakfast. (roll eyes) Shhhh…he didn’t know his wife is working on some boliao project till 5am and thot I woke up at 5am to go to the toilet (when I was preparing to go to bed). Anyway, my Nano is taking shape now.

Now, women folks, you got the feminine fertile look or not? Guys, put that politically correct manners aside and let your cavemen instinct prowl. Tell us women folks if you envision lots of mini-me (kids la) when chasing a skirt? Those who favour big boobs are actually looking for a woman to feed his babies, you know? And curvy bumps are looking for good passage ways for the mini-me. So, what about thick lips, big eyes, small nose and small chin?