No. 1 son – Mom, you smell like shit.
No. 2 son – Mom, I am going to pour turpentine and set you on fire.
No. 3 son – Mom!!!!!! You want to kill us izzit?
No. 5 toddler – Mommy pang phui! (farts)
#1 proceed to grab the room freshener and spray.
#2 keeps threatening.
#3 took a towel and wrap his face.
#5 repeatedly mumbles, “hmmmm, mommy smelly lor”
And that, ladies and gentlemen is my RM10 only, DIY hairyfying experience.
After my 5d4nite trip, my hair turned curlier than a Golliwog. (you know what golliwogs are, rite?) No point for me to cut them because it will grow curlier as it grows longer. Hair rebonding are for Ah Lians. (ignore me, I can’t afford to spend that kind of money)
So, yesterday, I took the plunge. I bought Schwarzkopf Glatt Strong Hair straightener cream. All for RM20.90 from Guardian. I dare not experiment yesterday because I have to attend church this morning.
Just now, took out the package and as usual, never read instructions. Proceeded to comb, comb the cream into the hair.
20 minutes later, KNNCCB, on second look it is only needs 10 minutes! 40 minutes is the total process time from application.
Die lar!!!! Ran to toilet and wash off the cream and hallelujah, my hair is as straight as any Ah Lians. Kiss the ground my hairs did not dropped off and left me botak! If I want to go botak, I must at least ask every one to pledge RM10K for me mah.
Now, for the first time in a long, long while, I don’t have to deal with hairs that goes north, south, east, west all at the same time. I don’t have to worry about 60 years old aunties asking me where I got my hair permed because they want that hair style. Woohoo!
The only thing I have to deal with are my kids’ comments like :
Mom, you look like a roadkill. (My reply : I am too sexy for my hair.)
Mom, you look like a witch.
Mom, you look like a maid.
Mom, your hair smells like shit. (have to wait for the peroxide smells to go away)
Next time, when I have more courage (pai seh la), I will show you guys a pic of me when I was 20 yrs old. My sis-in-law told my mom that I look like a prostitute because I permed my hair (my one and only time) then. My 2nd brother laughed till he almost fainted when he mimic her. “Ah Lian (my real name at home) siang kah keh an neh.” (Ah Lian is like a chicken.)
Sheesshh….it really is much easier to go bald.