Exclusive! Get your Top Ten here

This is not from me. Oh no, I can’t come up with such cool Top Ten List. It is from :

‘ someone who decided not to write top 10 lists for his blog for at least 1 week’

~ Beginning of Top Ten ~

Top Ten Things to Keep Your Kids From Driving You Insane During the School Holidays.

  • Lots of trips to the PS2 store. (“Wah Aunty, back again ah? Your kids finished the 5 games you bought yesterday aa?”)
  • Generous amount of home-made codeine (Parents, don’t try this at home).
  • Bore them to long naps with repetitive viewing ‘The Sound of Music’ and “Mary Poppins’. (“The hills are alive…with the sound of mu-sic…”)
  • Every morning, wake them up at 6am, make them jog 4 miles, break rocks at the quarry, water the vegetable patch in the backyard, walk the dog, fill the compost heap with doggie doo, clean the tiles and gutters on your roof, unclog the sinks and feed the sick chickens. Then by 11am, they’ll be too tired to disturb you for the rest of the day. (“Ah, some peace and quiet at last…”)
  • Fill their chewing gum with caramel and thick nougat. That will keep them quiet for a few hours, at least. (“No mom, I don’t want anymore chewing gum…! NOOO-OOOOO!”)
  • Teach them the joys of cross stitch and sweater knitting. (You can sell the finished products and earn money!)
  • Get them a 50,000 piece jig-saw puzzle and promise them a ride on the ‘famous KL minibus’ if they complete it. (“Minibuses are very rare, only royalty get to ride them…”)
  • Train them to keep a 24-hour video surveillance on that suspicious looking neighbour of yours. It keeps them occupied on two shifts, plus you get all the dirt on your nosy neighbours. (Plus sell them or put them on your blog, still can earn money)
  • Train your kids to start a copy-and-paste spam blog (‘splog’) and flood all the blog portals and metablogs in Malaysia. And make obscene amount of money for you with Adsense. (Everyone is doing it, so can your kindergarten kids.)
  • Leave them with your parents, grab your passports and leave the country. Until the holidays are over.

    ~ End of Top Ten ~

    I hope parents don’t flame me, ok? I sure wanna try them out.

    Because my kid has driven me insane. I got bored yesterday and decided to clean the fridge. After taking out all the removable shelves for cleaning…… I found this:


    *Warning : It is highly dangerous to try this act. Kids have suffocated in unused, old fridge. Like I say, this one is play-play only. Ish, nowadays, everything also must put disclaimer.

12 thoughts on “Exclusive! Get your Top Ten here

  1. u really clean the fridge when u get bored? is that really your son? u r really super.. 5 kids n can still do nano and blog so ever regularly!

    hate holidays too, must find ways to occupy my two sons too but don’t think the 10 ideas will work on my boys though. but i’ve tried something similar to the codeine, i sedated my boys before…but got prescription for that..felt bad later but really cannot take it sometimes..n so they say the joys of motherhood! so ironic!

  2. No holiday camps meh? My mum used to love spending a few days by herself when my brother and I went camping with friends. She used to complain why holidays are so long…We’re driving her crazy at home, 🙂

  3. “Bore them to long naps with repetitive viewing ‘The Sound of Music’ and “Mary Poppins’. (“The hills are alive…with the sound of mu-sic…”)”

    That’s odd. those two movies usually kept me awake during *my* old school holidays, wakakakakakaka…

  4. Ha ha ah good one!!! You tahan for a few more years lar… after they hit puberty and the hormones start kicking in, they’ll go chase girls and leave their mother at home in peace to blog….

    just a few more years… tahan…tahan…tahan lol

  5. hahaha..’Bore them to long naps with repetitive viewing ‘The Sound of Music’ ……Good nite i have to say good nite…gooood niteee….(before kids sleep, mum sleep jor)

  6. 9394 – Yalor, I simply can’t stand Sound of Music.

    Max – Huh? Where did u get that quote?

    king’s wife – NOOOOO!!!! Those are not from me. It is Simon’s of SimonTalks.com. This is his rejected piece but still very good for me. I thot everyone knows who Top Ten Man is.

    helen – If I count my eldest, it is almost there already. But I count my toddler, it is still a long, long, long +13 years to go. Sobs.

    zyrin – I only watched Sound of Music once in the cinema. A re-run. And I never intro to my kids ‘cos I can’t stand the over sweetness.

    WuChing – Yalor. He wanted to experiment and see if the fridge is as cold as his room. *roll eyes*

    shopping mum – You know what my kids told me when I suggested going for holiday camp? “You don’t put me with a group of city boys or……”

    JoeC – How to ‘tame’ ler?

    tsese-fly – Before I have blogging, I have more stuffs to do like my forum and support groups and websites. I cannot sit still one, get me very bad-tempered only. I must find something to occupy myself, but definitely housework. Hahaha.

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