Tell me should I pat-phor this?

It bothers me when I wash the dishes. It bothers me when I transfer my clothes out of the dryer (yeah, I don’t have to hang laundry). It bothers me when I walk in the park. It bothers me enough to blog it.

You see, I have this neighbour around my age. She would peek into my kitchen window. She would tell me who has moved in and who has moved out. She would pinched my toddler cheeks and scared the fleas out of him. Don’t say my toddler, she also scared the shit outta me.

If you watch Desperate Housewives, she is like that nosey parker who lives on Wisteria Lane. Get the picture? No, I do not detest her ‘cos she is not the other nosey parker who asked me if my husband is MY husband. Nor the other nosey parker who asked if my toddler is my grandson.

So, let’s call her Auntie Long Hair (ALH). ‘Cos if my toddler wants to run out of the house, I would go, “Haaah….Auntie Long Hair catch you.” Works all the time. Better than dinosaur, monster or policeman.

ALH had been missing from the scene for something like 1+ months now. She usually passed my corridor with her super-whiney, super-high pitchy, super-annoying little daughter who seems to cry all the time. Her MIL stays 2 doors from me. A woman who is surprisingly not friendly unlike other aunties on the block who think I am a daughter-in-law from heaven who cooks, breed only sons and errmm…I never preach Christianity eventhough I wear a cross pendant.

Back to ALH – she stays one floor below me. So she did come to her MIL’s house for meals. ALH has one happy family. I admire ‘cos I got no MIL. They have these family gatherings on weekends with extended families etc.

I wanted to ask ALH’s MIL where her daughter-in-law is. I dare not.

I wanted to ask ALH’s hubby where she is. I also dare not.

I wanted my sons to ask ALH’s son where his mom is. Sons call me kay poh chee.

I wanted to ask my other neighbours where ALH is. I sked they call me sei phat phor.

The kind and good side of me wonder if ALH is being ill and needs any food sent to her family. But where is her little daughter leh? I don’t mind playing the helpful neighbour. It is my duty. It is only right.

Now, this is where my dilemma comes from. Three to four months ago, I bumped into ALH with her daughter eating at McD with man. He could be her brother. He could be her insurance client. (ALH is a non-working woman la)

Being a woman, I did try to read the body languages. That’s why I dare not show my face and show ALH that I actually saw her.

I dare not ask because I am afraid the family may give me an angry look that says, “Sei phat phor, why you want to know where my wife runs to?”

But I think I should ask as a courtesy because if I suddenly died and disappeared, I sure want my neighbours to ask my family where I go die liao.

You get what I mean? If I had not bumped into ALH 3-4 months ago, I would have straight out asked her FIL (who is more friendlier). It is normal to ask about the well-beings of our neighbours.

So, tell me. Is there a fine line between kind and caring or nosey and busybody? What should I do? Keep wondering? Go ask?

17 thoughts on “Tell me should I pat-phor this?

  1. first, ask your good friend(s) on the block, tat fail, ask the ALH relations in the block, fail somemore, go knock on ALH door, if no answer assume went on vacation or if got funny smell, time to call building management. Cheers!

  2. yeah, agree with joe c. Now better on the lookout for anything fishy. Like what? The husband carrying out a roll of carpet in the middle of the night, any recent ‘discovery’ in the Penang sea, funny smell, or discarded big luggage behind dumpster???

    Aiyah, I’m so bad, hor? If you are really concerned for her, go ask around and find out. Like you say, she might be in need.

    BTW, the man in Mc D did not resemble my taxi man hor??

  3. helen – Got, got. Dark with stubbles, short sleeve shirts, not tucked in, minus the cap oni. Now you got me into deeper thoughts.

    JoeC – Yahor, if the husband suddenly bring me a pot of curry meat, I musn’t eat hor?

  4. Lilian,
    we (malay) say “nawaitu”!!! If your “nawaitu” (intention) is sincere …. concern and to offer help… go ask.
    So what if they say you are “kay poh chee”, or “sei phat phor” (whatever all these means)Their words won’t kill you right???!!

    & I KNOW you too well (by folowing yr blog of course)that you have all the right intention…

    Bless you Lilian

  5. Gawd, turning into Susan Mayers, trying to hunt down Mary Alice’s killa… too much Desperate Housewives lah. But no harm kaypoh a bit. Mebbe can get frontpaged in The Star, hoh. Go ask that gut feeling of urs….. got spooky feeling or not…..

  6. samm – I see the hubby’s sad-sad, tau-tau (aksi) face, I got tongue tied lor. I don’t want to ask other neighbours ‘cos that really make me sei phat phor.

    ummi – Yalor, tersangkut kat tengah-tengah.

  7. lilian, being a good neighbour is showing genuine concern for ur neighbours..yes u should ask around, nothing wrong with that, u worry too much lah, i’m dissapointed now..i thot u can do anything so u r mortal afterall.. just like us too!

  8. Wu Ching – Yikes, you think I sarn seen (angel) ah? I am your neighbourhood sei phat phor lor. Hahaha. OK la, the next time I bumped into the family, I am so gonna ask because it is not right to live in the same block and yet, never ask the whereabouts. OK, must psyche myself to be bolder.

  9. I agree with your final decision as of 4.29pm. Just gather the courage and go right up and ask her family. Since you have the right intention and I don’t consider that being a busybody. Don’t end up sleeping another nite or another week wondering…Time flies..And I think she tried to strike a friendship with you, maybe not the way you like, but I think she tried.

  10. at least now i guess your toddler don’t scare get caught away by auntie long hair anymore, since she missing in action for so long

  11. Since when u scared of what people think of you or call you names? Go and ask if it you think it will help.

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