Axe the ex

Trust me, the world is very, very small. And the Big Boss up there sometimes, have very crass humour. You never know whom you will bump into at the most unlikely places.

I have one ex (specimen A) whom ended up living in the same apartment block as I was. He was single then, whilst I was married with one kid. Oh boy, I hate seeing that face every morning in the lift.

Then, I have another one (specimen B) who got married the same day as I was! And we had our first child around the same time too. How much co-incidence can that be? Our children ended up going to the same primary and secondary school.

I was at that ‘dreaded-dreaded in-law’ boutique opening yesterday. I am the haughty-mighty ‘grand aunty’ (kim poh/kham phor) of this person who opened a boutique.

When I got down from the car, yikes! There stood the guy! OMG, I can’t turn back ‘cos my four sis-in-laws had seen me and were already calling out to me. Die ler, I so wanna jump into the big longkang!

But heh, so ‘kick’ to see that specimen B is old. Balding with white hairs. Eeek! You know how shiok it is to see that the ‘one that got away’ is not so good-looking compared to your own spouse? My handsome atm. Mmmmm…I am so proud of my atm!

So, moral of the story? Don’t mess around with too many exs. You won’t like it when caught in awkward situations and your mind go fast-forward like a DVD on double speed. From first date to parting date. It leaves you standing there grinning like a Cheshire Cat, not sure what to do. Eat what also forget. Duh!

But at least, for a second, I wish I can whisper in his ears….

whisper that so he can hear

and know

and remember

that I got

got

got

a blog.

Whisper,

“google my name, you idiot, google my name!!!!”

And that was my very un-happening weekend. Oh ya, plus I discovered that my sons are babes magnets. Woohoo, I am so proud (but I think the father is prouder)! They were at a church camp.

19 Replies to “Axe the ex”

  1. Auntie, what you feed your sons arrrr??? I wanna become babe magnet tooo

    LoL, jkz… A friend of mine has dozens of exes… still, she treats everyone of them like a frien (even has dinner with them once in a while)

  2. not only dun mess around with few Exes…haha..just dun steps on a few boats at one time, later all sink together..ahahhaa…

  3. It’s like u r telling me to go get a few containers and ship all my exs’ off to timbuktu so i’ll never ever bump into any of them again. But why worry so much hoh, cannot play pretend i-dont-know-you meh?

  4. Samm – We are ‘trapped’ in the same boutique what. And when we were dating, he was going steady with the wife (which I did not know, of course!). And he is Specimen A’s neighbour. Hahaha, the kind of ‘adventure’ I had.

    Kiasi – No leh, I am not talking about 3 yrs old boys. I am tokking about Form 3-4 girls la.

    JC – Ya, sure sink one day.

    JoeC – The thrill is there mah.

    Jon – If still young, oklah. But when you have not seen for several years and many kids later, owh.

  5. Aaah, she’s 55 year old (is a grandmother) recently divorced…

    And she brings her boyfriend over to dinner with her ex-husband once a month :p

  6. oooo you, samm & helen help ppl get back $$ hor? oklar, later i contact u, my ex oso owe me $$ leh. very the cilaka mya…………

  7. bless you, my child, you are very cruel. hahahaha… see people all grey and white you feel happy. i felt the same way when i saw my ex all sloppy and fat! hahahahahaa!!!!

  8. Lilian , you know what is worse than bumping into your exes? NOT HAVING any exes at all!! lol Waaaa, this Lilian manyak terror ler… Playgirl Lilian of Penang… subdued and domesticated by handsome ATM…. now, blogger and 5x mom. Colourful past… next time can write autobiography. (spiced up with XXX of course)

    Seriously, that is why I try to make-up and dress nicely wherever I go!! You never know who you’ll bump into!

    Yvy – ha ha ha … you think samm and I got prospect venturing into money collection for estranged ex-girlfriends? LOL You want to join in our new venture or not?? If yes, then you’ll get to interview those big, brawny, muscle ripping males to do our collection for us…. Want or not?? lol

  9. Ah..welcome to the world of the EX-file..You’ll never know what kinda surprises awaits you in the EX-file. As for me I’ll go with this saying “Stay in there as a part of my memories but stay out of my sight” = )

  10. doc -*take broom and chase* What gives you that idea? 🙂

    king’s wife – I wasn’t really wearing anything at all ‘cos my atm did not tell me he is going, last minit I come back from choir practice waited for me at the guard house. But heh, I have always been the smarter, humourous, interesting, (add positive points) than his other half. He said so, not I perasan sendiri.

    tony – Good word.

    Max – You will know next time.

    helen – Hahaha, yahor, then it is even more kesian, with no glorious pasts to boast. Yvy is getting married soon. So, can join our tigress club.

    ah pek – There…you also think like that mah.

    WuChing – 🙂

    Yvy – Why you oso kena conned. Tell us, we go collect back for you.

    Jon – Wow, that lady got style, man.

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