Indeed, Why Marry?

Minishorts asked Why Marry? two days ago. After two days, I still can’t figure out a one-liner answer.

Here’s my version:

THE HOLY ONE

1) God’s will.

2) Legally right.

3) Morally right.

4) Lovingly right.

5) Because mommy said so.

THE BITCHY ONE

1) So that we don’t get anak di luar nikah. It is awfully hard to register a child without a marriage certificate, you know?

2) If we are going to live with a man, why not grab the chance to own ALL of his properties. (It just takes one life insurance policy, one name on the EPF’s beneficiary form and in fact, every other forms that doesn’t require you to pay the mortgages.)

3) Saves accommodation costs. (only one roof needed)

4) It is much peaceful without having to reply to those endless, annoying, super kpc questions of “Why aren’t you married yet?”

5) Legal sex is available 24/7 on demand. (i.e. if you are lucky) And you won’t run the risk of getting a bunch of tok kadis pounce on you or even worse, a bunch of si-lais with sambal belacans to stuff up your errm…orifices.

THE REAL REASON?

Hell, I don’t know! I can’t remember why either. The only reason I married my lived-in boyfriend of 2 years was because I wanted little babies because my friends and colleagues got them. I can’t buy them off the shelves (like Angelina Jolie), so……I got married and make my own.

Now, who can tell me why we marry?

(Disclaimer – This is not my typical morally and religious right blog, ok? Take it with a pinch of salt, a spoonful of sugar, a squeeze of lemon and some cili padis.)

24 Replies to “Indeed, Why Marry?”

  1. If you accept the rightness of your life in the universe, then your ideals will be those in keeping with your nature. They will be fairly easily given expression and so when you marry you add to your own path for fulfillment and to the development of society as well.

    You were born because you had the impulse to be. There was no cosmic Pied Piper, singing magical notes urging the universe into being.

    The urge came from within, and that urge is repeated to some extent in each impulse, each urge toward action on the part of man or molecule. Nature exists by virtue of faith. The squirrel gathers nuts in the faith that is will have the needed provisions, and that spring will follow winter.

    Your impulses are immersed in the quality called faith, for they urge you into action in the faith that the moment for action exists. Your beliefs must interact with your impulses, however, and often they can erode that natural beneficial spontaneity that impulses can provide.

  2. Maybe its a question w/o answer, but still wanna ask… What is the most important thing that keep 2 people together? Issit Love? Issit Faith? Issit the feelings that you share with ur hubbie– security, happiness etc?

    Just broke with my gf couple days ago, my friend asked me why and cant give any answer 🙁

  3. eze : sorry to hear abt ur break up. sometimes, bad things do happen for reasons we’ll never know. it’s all apart of His plan for you. 😉 cheer up, there are a lot of fish in the sea. 😉 plus, bad experiences are normally the best teachers too. *hugs*

    lilian : hhmm….good question leh. i oso never thougt abt WHY one marries…now i gotta go crack my brain over this. haiz….

  4. Well, I married my husband because we loved each other. He was the new priest who was training at my church and I was the Sunday School teacher(btw, we got to know each other during SS meetings with the priest and his assistant(my darling). Since the both of us were servants of GOD we longed for each other(pre marital sex was a big NO NO), he proposed, I accepted and we were married and we’ve never looked back…Though being married has its ups and downs, when we allow GOD to work in our relationship, its always a strong and lasting one..marriage is a beautiful chapter in ones life..how it turns out to be, depends solely on both husband and wife. I believe that when we put our trust in God he will lead us to our soul mate…

  5. For me, it was because the biological clock was ticking.. If I want to have kids, I better make one soon, and if I wanted to make one, i better get married soon.

    So I told my then boy friend of 6yrs “you want to get married or not? Don’t want then forget it la, I’ll go look for someone” (as he’d mentioned he’s not the ‘marrying type’).. and he said, “why not?”.. so now he’s my husband and we have a lovely little girl (after trying for 6yrs).. romantic huh?

  6. Because i told hubby if i got pregnant and if by the time the baby’s born and we’re not married, he’ll take my surname. That did the trick and we’re happily married ever after. Fairy tale ending mah, hoh.

  7. mahagurusia – Errmm…are you married? How old are you btw?

    samm – Same reason as me. I want a baby and therefore, we better marry.

    moo_t – Curiousity is a bad excuse. It’s a road of no return, dun play-play.

    zara’s mom – Wuah, you garang hor? Want anot? Dunwan, never mind, go next stall. Hahaha.

    Florence – Lucky gal! I wish I have the same views like you when I was younger. I truly agree, when the couple are with God, things usually go smoother. I envy those couples in my church, they are so, so loving towards each other. I hope to be like them one day.

    JeremyC – Hahaha, sorry to be a wet blanket but love alone cannot sustain things. It takes a whole lot of things. Like the commitment. Sort of like an agreement that you have to work hard to sustain.

    Yvy!!!! You must be joking! LOL. But don’t worry, Christ will keep Ted and you in eternal happiness. It is the right thing to do.

    eze – I think different people have diff. expectations. And sometimes, as they grow, the expectations change. So, to me it is perfectly alright to keep searching and searching until things just clicked. Hahaha, when my kids are older, prolly I will tell them that it is ok to dump and be dumped. But I would really like them to have faith like Florence. Leave it in the hands of God to find them the perfect partner.

    wuching – Yeah, love can be the evil. People bail out with the excuse that there isn’t any more love. And love is such a subjective matter, not something we can see, feel so best to focus on commitment.

    Metria – Agree 100%

    marlinda – Terima kasih. 🙂

    extendlife – I wish I can grasp what you say but I am totally lost.

  8. Bcos I needed someone to share my life and I want to be loved. The most important one of all is I am so tired of going through the rigours of courtship and the initial getting-to-know-each-other phase. It was fun at first… coz the courtship phase is the romantic phase. But, it is also the phase everyone is on their best… acting only lar… Sian.

  9. zara’s mama: Six years?! Where did you find time to cook/eat/sleep, then? 😉

    A quick straw poll among my friends got the last one as the most common answer: nak anak2! They’re mostly married.

    My favourite is the Bitchy Answer, but I’m single.

    *eek!*

    Help, 5xMom! What does it mean?

  10. 1) Making kids legally
    2) Got partner to go to places 24/7
    3) Don’t have to endure in the match-making sessions that ur aunts/mom/relatives make for you
    4) Have someone to hug and hug u back when u’re sleeping knowing them that they’ll be there till death doe them apart.
    5) Can start a family together-gether
    6) More opinions in making desicions on house stuff (eg: what colour to put the curtains, what kinda sofa, which room is the kids one…)
    7) To actually feel that you have fulfilled 50% of your life goals?

    Lol.. dun listen to me..i’m just 18 n i dun plan to marry till i’m actually 27?…lol

  11. i got married because my exclassmate during secondary school whom didn’t meet for the last 10 years, suddenly called me up for dinner and the next 2 days asked me if i want to marry him and i said (out of nowhere) wait for 2 weeks and i will decide and within one week i prayed prayed prayed and prayed and picked up the phone and said to him, yes we can get married but have to be married within 3 months time or else it is OFF. so we’re married and stayed married – happily 80% of the time 🙂 So for me – it is Divine Intervention …

  12. i pretty much like the reason given in Reese Witherspoon’s ‘Sweet Home Alabama’

    “…so I can kiss you anytime I want…”

    hehehehe. sweet.

  13. hi guys…
    I was looking for a topic, but suddenly, I found myself here.. I read the topic, I liked it.. I wanna replay… may I Thanks.

    We marry, to build Social…
    We divorce, Because we can’t communicate…
    We marry again, because we know that deeply we will be dependent later, so we need some (sons and daughter) to help us, when It’s needed…
    We live happy and sad days, because we can’t control our life…
    We only control what we can control…
    Marriage is the most important thing is life… It makes you feel yourself, and feel you are important
    We marry to build the future…
    Parents are much better building their future than a boy and his girlfriend… (the otherwise rarely happens, I mean it rarely happens that you find a boy and his girlfriend planing for their furture very well, cuz everyone wanna be the best) but parents they feel that they are ONE…

    thanks for the time,

    I really looking for getting married…

    T.C.S.A

  14. Hee Haaa Hooo…
    Really makes me laugh ah this old news…
    Why Marry ah?….

    Add to the list… [no insults intended]
    Some fe/males get married ..cos deperate…
    can’t tahan …Water bill so high one…
    …or Can’t stand seeing others marry..so they also want.. don’t care if marriage last a while only. *(what 8hrs is the Malaysian Media Records rite?)

    In the UK… why they marry..cos they can get MORE Government Money (refer to Tax Credits)…. freehousing etc etc.

    ……. Ok..I’ll rant about this later…
    makes me HOT now.

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