This is one long ranty post starting from bitching to preaching ala 5xmom. Part One is the bitching. Full title is ‘If Malaysia is going to ‘broadband-ise’ herself, she better start educating her rakyats…..
Two days ago, these stupid screamyass (broadband provider) sent their agents on door-to-door sales mission.
I was on my way to go out with my four kids. Usually, it takes an army general to command the whole battalion to get ready and get into the car. As you know, teenagers will need time to spike their hair, younger boys need to search for their stuffs and toddler as usual will be missing a shoe etc. As for me, my veins on my neck will be turgid, my voice can be heard 5 miles away and sweats are dripping down my pretty make-up face, smearing my mascara….You get the picture yet? Watch The Hulk before? Only nastier.
I damn hate people ringing my door bell. Doesn’t matter if you are the postman with a cheque for me, my own relatives, some mormons, nosy neighbours, hunky plumbers or assholics salespersons. BTW, I live in a semi-luxury apartment and no one is allowed to enter to do door-to-door sales. We have two guards and a ‘touch-and-go’ card system. So, when anyone gets through, I know they had lied to the guards.
So, two of them were at the door. One of them is fooling my neighbour’s 10 year old son with promises of broadband in his home within days. He said something like these:
“Yalah, tujuan abang datang hari ni, memang nak pasang broadband la. ”
(Yes, big bro is here today with the purpose of installing broadband for you.)
In our country where people hardly speaks Engrish, broadband is synonymous with being cool and techie. If Muthu, Ali and Ah Chong from the neighbouring house has it, so must we – that kinda thing.
So, I was pretty pissed because the poor kid is over the moon with excitement and will probably open the door for the salesman who promise broadband. We are talking about a 10 years old kid who thought the regular newspaper man is a robber when he came to collect the monthly newspaper money. He created a stir and our whole apartment thought it is true. Duh! That’s the result of being home alone too much. Give him broadband and he will probably be glued to the PC watching titties the whole day through as he is without parental supervision most of the days.
Another lady rep with her orange t-shirt (I hate orange btw) started her sales pitch as I was locking my wooden door. I have another grill door and I am sort of behind the cage.
“Sorry. Whatever you are selling, I am not interested.” Army commander mode on, voice curt.
“No….we are not selling. We just want to …….” Damn annoying orange t-shirt spoke.
“I am not interested in anything and you can see that I am busy.” Army commander got even more pissed. Kids are piling up behind me, pushing to get through the door.
“We are offering……” Orange t-shirt didn’t know who she is messing with.
“I SAID I AM NOT INTERESTED! CAN YOU EXCUSE ME SO THAT I CAN GET OUT OF MY OWN HOUSE?” If the door direction is not opening in, I would have opened outwards and make orange t-shirt flew off three floors.
“We are here to find out if you have any complaints…….” Bull-headed orange t-shirt continue……
“IF I HAVE ANY COMPLAINTS, I WILL GO TO THE PRESS AND YOUR GM DIRECT…” Chewah, 5xmom belagak. (but true what, last time my ex-company supply telecommunication cables to Telekom and the Chairman’s direct line is just one-touch away)
Finally, I managed to escape the house, fuming……..
WTF, go Google ‘penang mom’ and see who you are talking with? You think I need you to explain to me what you are offering? If I said I am not interested, it means I am not interested. I already got chased by your team of salespersons when in the shopping mall, now you dare come into my territory to bug me somemore?
I got into the car with the kids and started my preaching……………
(to be continue………..)