Enough of Squadgate, let’s talk tampon

*My hands are itchy, my eyes are droopy, my brain sleepy and yet…I decided to go for three-column template because it looks good at 1024 pixels on my laptop. Note that you can pick ‘with or without ads’ by clicking the link at the sidebar. So, don’t curse me for copy-cating probloggers with too many ads.*

Aren’t people ever tired of talking about the ear squats? Come on, it is the same old speculations, then, everybody believe everybody and then, facts become bluffs, and the rest is just a circus.

We can never do without police in our midst. I love police. They are so honourable, so yau-yeng, so mo-tak-teng, so Wong Hei, so Bowie Lam….. We watch Astro Lai Toi and those black and white movies starring that wong fei hong guy and we also know that police takes the telephone directory and then, use the hammer and hentam the suspected criminals to get them to talk. No bruises wan ler.

The moment you met a black dog (being unlucky), you sure kena wan what. Masuk lokap, makan gulai. That’s what my mom used to tell me when I was small. She told me, if you are naughty, police catch you, put you in lock-up and they only give you curries to eat. As a small girl who can’t stand hot chillies, that was so fearful. Because of that, I dare not steal (cookies), pinch my neighbour, pull my classmates hairs, step on the cat’s tail etc.

So, let’s leave the police matter to the law. Leave the human rights matter to the NGOs wateva. Let’s learn a little facts of life from 5xmom. The mother of all mothers website – MyMomsBest!

I already teach people through my MyMomsBest’s parenting blog on how to tighten the vagina. This is for medical reasons, ok? Nothing naughty there, ok?

So, do you think a simple piece of thing stuffed into the pet-pet can comes out if we squat? No, of course. Not if you take 5xmom’s advice of doing Kegel exercise.

For the last 30+ years since I am not a girl, not yet a woman, I had never have tampons plonking into the toilet bowl if I so happen to use a squat toilet. You know, we Malaysians have toilets that make us squat. Squatting makes the shits come out faster but nope, it doesn’t make stuffs from our vagina to drop out. If indeed things can drop out of vaginas if we squat, then, head to the ob-gynae stat. Your marriage will probably drop out before things start dropping out of your vaginas.

So, ladies and gentlemen, stop wondering. The vagina is a lot more resilient than that. But if all those druggies start pooping out cylinders of white stuffs, then, I suppose it was fear and guilt that made their muscles loosen.

BTW, haven’t you all seen or heard about the Tiger Show in Thailand where they can popped a cork, c.o.R.k. la with their pet-pet. Or how my mom used to tell my older sisters (I was too young to know notty stuffs like these) how Rose Chan, a famous striptease who can do stuffs with her pok-pok?

So, enough about things being expelled involuntary from the vaginas, ok?

22 Replies to “Enough of Squadgate, let’s talk tampon”

  1. I strongly agree with u auntie.
    Enuff of squadgate.
    At first it was interesting to read, when more and more ppl talk and wrote about it I feel sick. Pls no more…vomit!

  2. *rubbing eyes* Am I seeing things now? Just an hour ago, u r still with the old template…hehe, just abit shocked. I know this got nothing to do with ur post.

    Neway nice la..but can add colors in it…kinda umph…too white?

    *back to my Kegel exercise..hehe*

  3. end of the year, everybody got itch. you changed your template, Wingz chaged his, JoeC oso tinkered and meself oso caught the itch.

    i didn’t realised you were a chibai expert. i thot to tighten the chibai, womwn take “kam Kuai Fei” tablets. After taking, not only the chibai tughtened, the arsehole also tightened. susah berak!

  4. I love your new blog template!! This is very soothing and easy to read. Might be my imagination, it loads faster than your previous template wor… 🙂

  5. Ah, another Malaysian’s apathetic response. Yeah, let’s just keep under the tempurung and don’t talk about what is wrong.

    We’ve forgotten Rafidah/APs, Samy Vellu/cracking and infringing highways, snatch thefts, Canny Ong. Let’s forget about police abuse also, and ask everyone to shut up.

  6. wah change ‘baju’ edi hor? 🙂 nice nice….should wait for new year mah, then new look ma…:)

    anyway, the template looks weird in IE (dun worry abt me, i got no choice in office – all IE nia.) blek!

  7. You need to turn on search engine friendly urls. And you need to create the search and archive pages. Just follow the instructions at the end of the theme introduction. Make sure you chmod the .htaccess file to 777 before telling wordpress to add the rewrite rules. Also don’t forget to use the search and archive templates provided in the theme.

  8. Yvy – It must be my google search box width. It is too broad and force the 2nd sidebar all the way down. Later I go tweak. IE memang sucks, cannot make adjustments like Firefox.

    gbyeow – The old template leaves a broad red border when I use 1024 x 768. I like clean look.

    aw – You are in the wrong blog.

    Sashi – Very nice template. Only need to insert Adsense client code. Done in a jiffy! That’s what I like. 🙂

    helen – Yeah definitely ‘cos I don’t have much image, but my links and pages page oso gone. Need to get them back.

    Surfnux – I don’t know it is crazy or what, I changed all my three blogs into this same template.

    ah pek – Nice mah, keep changing with the season. So, that’s what kam kwai fei is for la? I saw the ads but they are in Canto/Mandarin and wonder what they are for. LOL, not that I need it. I am not a concubine in the China emperor’s palace.

    Wu-Ching – Yaya, nice rhyme

    jc – With WordPress, it is just a few clicks. In fact, I can change back the old one with a click. Some bloggers give their readers to choose the template they like, flavour of the week, kinda thing.

    ZEO – It is getting boring, right?

    Celestine – No wonder. I have never seen one. I thought they have tigers in the show. LOL.

  9. you make me laugh! but yes, if stuff fell out of vaginas that easily, the tampon industry wouldn’t have existed. Nor any other contraceptives which require insertion into that area.

    (no more squats, please.)

  10. This new template gives me a feeling of “Christmas is coming”…. all white. Nice, i like. Loads faster than the previous one also.

  11. The “tiger show” chi-bye can open beer botle, can use straw suck up drinks, can smoke cigar….that’s the 8th wonder of the world la ! LOL

    If things can drop out from chi-bye I think it’s because the gal got big chi-bye. No wonder nowadays got no “curse” word already:

    Diu Niama Dai Hai !
    Kan Ne Neh Tua Chi-Bye !

    Make sense ?

  12. i think that c*b* got teeth, if not how can it open beer bottle. can u imagine, if ur c*ck is there then ur whole brother will sure drop out.
    hahahahaha

  13. Ha..ha..ha.. i remembered Rose Chan too well coz my mom used to scold me with this sentence if i put on a sexy blouse and micro mini skirt , ” Ha..nak jadi Rose Chan sangat-sangat lah tu!”. At first i do not know who the heck is Rose Chan until one day i read the newspaper about the pathetic life of Rose Chan who lived in Old Folks Home and later on she died. The Star newspaper did some write up about her glamourous life as a stripper.

  14. Hi to all!!! My name is Harry Schwartz & I was searching around on Google for info on Cigar Smoking and Cigars I found your Blog. I’m really blown away with your blog design, and template arrangement. Very nice JOB!

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