Morning horrors

7am : 5xmom running on a beach with hunk. Drools…..

#2 & #3 : MOMMY, wake up, let’s go to the skate park!!!! We have gotten your trackpants, socks and even panties all ready!!!

5xmom : Gawd….how come you kids never wake up so perky for school but so systematic for skateboarding?

Reached Youth Park, car park full. Tiuuuu…7 early 8 early car park also can full? You know how tedious is it for me to carry a 30 lb toddler, a kick-ass DLSR camera, backpack and one bicycle, single-handedly anot? Walk up hill, down hill for about 800 metres from carpark to skatepark?

But what welcome me is even more frightening. I hate this scene. In another 10 years time, I probably am one of these people. That’s why I hate it because it is my future, right smack in my face. I don’t like this.

skateboarding2

(Photo is not related to story. Just want to show off shots I captured in sports mode.)

CAN YOU IMAGINE line-dancing to the tune of ‘Uptown Girl’? There is nothing that can screw my day than watching middle aged women in pointy bras, red hair, line dancing to songs like ‘Do ya think I’m sexy’ (Rod Stewart), Uptown Girl (Billy Joel) and some cheesy Olivia-Newton John (is she dead yet?) songs.

Please, please, please God, I don’t ever want to do any line-dancing! Spare me!!!!!

But if you think line dancing is bad, there is another group of middle-aged women doing the fan dance. Pink feathers fans dance to the tune of some Chinese sopranos songs. Lagi teruk. Sounds like chicken kena cut throat early morning. No, make that pigs kena slaughter.

Over at another field, a group formed a circle and doing some ‘Helga Olga Yoga’. Neither squat nor stand, like constipated stance. All 30 adults in that stiff position.

skateboarding

(Photo also not related. Prove that I am there to take photos of my sons, not stealing awkward shots of pointy bras.)

And the skateboarding park is used by this white hair man who looks humsup (horny) to me. But every single middle-aged woman call him Sien Sern. Eewwwsss…He doesn’t look like Wong Fei Hoong to me. Just a regular white hair humsup middle aged man who have all the silais (housewives) clamouring over him.

“Sien Sern (teacher/master) – tomorrow you are coming or not?”

“Sien Sern – I am so used to come, I feel so different if I miss one day exercise.”

“Sien Sern – You think this XYZ supplement good for me or not?”

You get the gist?

Yawwwnnnn….I am grouchy because now all my kids have gone back to sleep. I can’t go out, can’t roll Tong Yuen, can’t go buy school books, school uniforms and Christmas stuffs as planned.

I am also very frus because I dare not take photos to show you guys what exactly I am bitching because I don’t want to get my camera zapped again. So, just use your imagination. Think army camouflage, pointy bra, red hair, pink feathers fans and Uptown girl…..and middle age women (which I am one but living in self-denial).

15 Replies to “Morning horrors”

  1. Try going sunday father-daughter swimming and find the condo pool being being used for baptising 100 people, now thats morning horror. :p

  2. Eh, lilian. I remember an old aunty of mine (mom’s side) who used to wear VERY pointy bras. She used to tell my mom, “Dont wear panties nevermind, who can see. But bra ah, MUST wear one” HAHAHAHAHAHAH

  3. Samm – HAHAHAHA….So hiao auntie ah? Gosh, I hope she doesn’t go around sitting open legged. All males pengsan wor.

    fire80 – You shud share that online. It is funny. But running the risk of kena flame jugak.

    Helen – No Gallen Lo material la. More like those kelefehs sidekicks only.

    grace – 🙂

    JeremyC – I wrote that within minutes. So, a quick draw mcgraw is better hor? Tembak first, think later.

  4. I live 5 minutes away from the youth park. I used to go running there every morning and everrry single time I pass your line dancing friends, my concentration breaks and I have to push hard not to stand and stare at those aunties 😀

  5. kah kah kah..that was MOST farneee *wiping tears off eyes*. But I know what you mean… those aunties (older ones) with their hiao clothes/makeup… AIYOOOO NO SHYNESS MAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  6. Kak lilian,
    Like in singapore lah….hehehe… petang2 aje in certain housing estates, at their common padang so to speak (or kadang2 even on the basketball court), you would hear this loud country music, and lo and behold, u could see all these aunties (more like nenek lah hehe) line dancing. Sungguh lucu heheheh…
    Laknak spelt correctly *full round of applause* hehehe…

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