Amen!

My toddler woke up this morning at 8 am, all bright eyes. So, we decided to go to McD and Tesco for some walkie-walkies. On the way back, I somehow took the wrong lane and ended up on the autopon (sp?) which leads to the hospital.

So, he told me, “Nay….hospital see Dr. Cheang wan lor….”

And I absent-mindedly told him, “Yalor…Vincent ko-ko last time stay here wan lor…” Once upon a time, I used to make that trip to the hospital every day around the same time.

He replied, “Vincent ko-ko died already and go see Jesus liao lor…”

So, rewind-rewind and play some old tales in my head.

Once in a while, if I was lucky, I would bumped into Dr. C at the carpark because our older kids went to the same kindy and hence, we arrived around the same time at the hospital.

Well, mostly, I would greet him with the usual smile and etc. Sometimes, he would dropped bombs like, “Last night they (ICU nurses) called me at 3 am ‘cos your notty kid gave problems (explained situation like aspirated blood, seizures, breathing problems, BP dropped). I was about to call you (when doc call patients’ caregivers to ICU, it is usually very, very bad news) but usual lah, he stabilised.”

In the bright sunshine, on the way from the car park to the hospital, news like these were much easier to swallow. I hate it if I got summoned to see him first thing in the morning in his clinic. Those few steps from level four to the ground floor would feel like an eternity.

So, my usual self would replied something like, “Oh, 3 am? What time did you sleep then? How come you can still wake up? No panda eyes ah?”

Sometimes, if I am not so lucky to get it from the horse’s (doc C) mouth, I would be bombarded with the sour faced matron bad news.

It will be something like these:

“Aiyoh, Mrs. Loh, last night emergency, yadda yadda yadda. Tsk, very bad la. I thought he cannot make it already.”

Each morning, I would have the same routine. Go up to the fourth floor, get into ICU. Wear coat, wear slipper, wash hands, yadda yadda yadda. KPC check which patient had died over the night, which new one got admitted. Check if my tall, balding, dark, silent and handsome Cambridge surgeon around. (Ok, this part is just a distraction from going insane. I was playing Mills and Boons doctors and patients romance in my head.) Check if the undertaker is outside the ICU waiting to pick up some corpse. Check if the Medical Officer is around to sign death certificates. Listen and see if any relatives crying over some dying patients. See if any heart bypass patients are groaning and moaning. See if any meningitis patients are tied to the bed and thrashing like possessed. Phew…interesting sights waiting for me every morning. What a way to start the day hor?

There is no twist nor any moral nor any religious preachings to this. Just that I am surprised that after so many years, I can still feel those feelings like it just happened.

And you know what? I am so, so happy and give thanks to the Lord that I can go grocery shopping with a toddler at 8 am in the morning today. He took one baby trolley, I took one. He bought his chocs and candies. I bought my vege and seafoods. The kind cashier gave him his own plastic bag of goodies and made him feel so grown up. And McD breakfast (after the hospital flashback) never taste so good.

Thank you God for getting me through those times. You (God) made me one helluva tough nut hor? So, dear God, please give those in needs the strength and courage to carry them through their bad times. In Christ’s name, I pray. Amen!

Ok, peeps. Let’s talk about McD big breakfast. Pttuiii….how did McD survive on those cardboard muffins and sausages plus rubbery eggs? It costs me RM10 (some changes into the donation box) for those inedible stuffs. I can make better scrambled eggs anytime. The Gardenia bread is better than their muffin. And that piece of thing like someone’s unwashed old underwear is supposed to be a sausage? Hey, sausages are supposed to be shaped like a dick, ok? And for RM10, I can eat breakfast for ONE whole week, tiu. One bowl of curry mee is only RM2.

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18 thoughts on “Amen!”

  1. It’s been so long since I had McD breakfast, I kind of like it actually… Not that bad wert… especially the muffins and hashbrowns… And free refil…

  2. I like .. i like MickeyD breakfast leh..! i have the big breakfast.. always.. and i love their english muffin.. can spread.. all the creamy butter.. and jam on it.. toasted.. some more can stylo-malo read papers..! but since having chloe.. we’ve only like gone 5 times..?? perhaps.??
    Yes… Lilian.. God’s grace is definitely sufficient for all of us.. Amen.. to that..!

  3. ppl go to mcdonald here coz they’re broke & can only afford cheap crappy foods but in malaysia ppl go there for fun & expensive crappy foods!

  5. Hello dear Lilian,

    Everytime you write about Vincent, it’s always very touching. It amazes me to see mother’s love through you, a real mother. But I’ll never be able to fully comprehend until I am a mother one day.

    Nevertheless, I do understand that hospitals are good at evoking memories. Everytime I go to the hospital for checkups and pass by the familiar corridors, I would be reminded of the horrid days when I was bedridden, ill, and incapable. It’s a slightly uncomfortable, slightly nauseatic, but not as bad as I want to die because of it. Because we are who we are today because of our past. So if we hate our past, we’re not happy with our current selves as well.

    And so, I feel that writing my biography was a triumph more than a chore. Whenever people ask me how I deal with NF, I find it hard to answer. Because it’s neither good nor bad. Ofcourse, I would rather not suffer from it, but then, I am who I am today because of NF. So well, very hard to explain lah. *sigh*

  6. I have to agree about the McD’s Breakfast – nothing really special. However, it’s a godsent for those who don’t have time to really do it themselves and refuses to go to a stall (for any reason)

  10. never venture into hospital if i can. Hated the atmosphere there….yuck!

    McD brekkie ? lolz…….work in McD klang for like near 2 years….. now i didnt even want to eat their food. Rather go Burger King or if I can, make myself lor…The loti where to buy ah ?

  11. I’m so glad you found strength in the Lord at your time of despair. 🙂

    I seldom eat McD nowadays except for the double Cheseburger which got promo at RM2.50. So many ppl (esp the kids) still insist on eating there because their advertising gimmick is working well. Furthermore ppl are mad about those cheap ‘made in China’ cartoon figures. Collectible items wor….

  12. I agree, fast food joint’s breakfast tastes like rubber.
    Give me a bowl of noodles anytime.

    And yes, Amen for all the little blessings in life, and strength in times of despair.

  14. *wipes tears*

    Your writings about Vincent never failed to touch me. He may not be here physically but we all know he’s forever in your heart 🙂

  15. i have to agree with the rest that aunt lilian, ur writings about vincent had always touched me, until today, it made me want to cry whenever i read.
    -_-”
    back a few days was my first time seeing a mother giving birth (part of my Physiology class) and i dunno somehow there were tears gathering in the eyes.
    (of a topic totally unrelated to this : it saddens me how some teenagers don’t seen to appreciate what their parents do for them, they seem to not realise what are of their parents mind how much of love spilled on them, how much of fear losing them, just as the love you have that i could see u’ve poured upon your kids)
    anyway, just wanted to say Thanks for being a good mommie 🙂 -heh, on ur kids’ behalf? as well as on my personal behalf
    p/s: sowwie hadn’t been around here for quite some time edi.

  18. so i m not the only one…

    i found tht McD is getting worse..
    everything u buy from there…
    u eat it…is like empty
    is like eating nothing..
    is tht a bread…is tht chicken meat?
    is tht egg?
    is tht fries?
    is tht ice cream?
    i dunno…i just found tht is getting fake-er

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