Being vegetarian is like watching p0rn & come see me in bikini!

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Disclaimer : Before you proceed, you must agree that I am not taking a jibe at any faiths/philosophy, not even Ayah Pin’s one. You must also know that nowadays, there is such thing call photoshop where people can alter your photos. Agree? Now, proceed.

I had accomplished seven days. Marvellous! Bravo! Syabas! Keong Hee! I even cook Indian food just to tide over the cravings.

Actually, I learn something from going vegetarian. Just to let you know, I am an lacto-ovo-vegetarian, meaning that I drink milk from the cow tits (though of course I don’t really drink milk) and eat the eggs from the chicken butt. However, I don’t eat anything from the sea nor land nor air. And no, I am not doing this for religious purpose but if I can finish 40 days, I will probably go tell Jesus that I had been a good girl who managed to resist the temptations.

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You know, when I was young, my family never go on any fast or follow much rituals. So, I always, always bugged my mom why people want to eat vegetarian foods and yet, disguised them as animal parts. Mom always told me to shut up.

These past seven days, I had to find things to stuff myself. Eating only greens doesn’t give me the kind of satisfaction because I know that there are good, real foods around. I bought fake kidney, fake liver, fake prawns, fake cuttlefish, fake chicken, fake goose, fake fish, fake eggs and fake everything. So, I pacify myself with these substitutes. And I manage to turn away from the foods (meats and fishes) I cooked for my hubby and kids.

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Mamma mia, I received my enlightment! (sit yoga style) Ommmmmm…..I realised that these fake foods are like p0rn. You know you can’t have hunky guys, swing, turn lesbians or have threesome. So you peek a little and you just go on with your lives. You won’t get the urge to actually try them out. (Hey, this is how adults view p0rn, isn’t it? See only, never touch? Damn, I am only trying to extrapolate so don’t go twist my words that I am encouraging p0rn, ok?)

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So, remember this enlightment I received. Those fake foods pacify and satisfy our human nature to be barbaric. As I tear a fake chicken drumstick apart, my soul knows that I am eating food. I chew on the wooden ice-cream stick and pretend I am chewing on chicken bones. BTW, I love to chew bones, serious. We humans are often challenged by the setan (devil) and therefore, no matter how pure we want to be, sometimes, our weaknesses will drive us nuts. So, don’t question why vegetarians are so fake and eat fake animals. We are only human, ok?

Well, I had been searching around to find out whether one can lose weight if one goes on vegetarian diet. Well, the answer is yes and no. If one eats healthily, vegetarian foods have lower calories than meat.

But, but, my body has changed! I can now wear bikini! Don’t believe? See this pic of mine? I dare not post it here la, afterwards some people die of heart attack or got choke. So, now you know what vegetarian diet can do for your boobs. It caused the boobs to run to the biceps. I lost my boobs! Thank you, Mr. Muscle Man for lending me the pic.

24 Replies to “Being vegetarian is like watching p0rn & come see me in bikini!”

  1. first of all, congratulation on your first 7 days on the vegetarian diet, here’s to the next 33! I gerenti you’ll be wearing bikini after the 40th day!

  2. I’m not vegetarian. But, I just realize that I haven’t been eating any meat/meat product for the past few weeks. I don’t do it purposely, I remember I eat,

    kimchi, seaweed, korean noodle (dunno what name is, but it’s all vegetable ingredients), yogurt, almond, muesli, cereal, coffee, Milo, fried mixed vegetable, vegetable soup, ABC soup, red bean soup, pasta(tortelloni with spinach), vegetable porridge, pineapple, orange, bread, chocolates, Chinese “economy” rice(2 types of vege, 1 tofu, 1 egg)…..many more lah…cannot remember, but for sure NO meat at all.

    It’s not suffering at all, I don’t even realize, until I read your blog about this vegetarian topic.

  3. Aiyak ! I forgot that I ate Dim Sum (some meats inside), Tom Yam (some prawns). Yeah lah… except these Nia…. No meat in my meals

    WaHH… your photo (Wuching’s blog) is quite nice hor…

  4. auntie,
    after another 33 days of eating all the flour, you will balloon into a 200 kilo hippo.
    vegetarians eat vegetables. you hantam all the flour-made fakes where got vegetarian? it’s all stach. it’s all carbohydrate. better stop. if not i’m going to have nightmares about you. you look perfectly sexy now, with all the mucles. i like!!!!!!

  5. errrr…..what is the 2nd picture har? looks very gross to me. cannot anyhow post picture without description hor. my imagination run riot one leh. 4th picture is onion, right? but still also looks very gross lah.

  6. Ive been a lacto-ovo vege since 1 Jan this year. Im trying for one whole year. The great thing about Malaysia is its relatively easier to be a vegetarian than in Western Countries where you have no spices and curries to liven things up. Also, I dont know about you but after being vege for 2 months I find that when I eat the mock items, i get a killer headache. Be careful eating too much of those, lots of flavourings and fillers.

    Congratulations and keep on going!

  7. congrats on the 7 days. i sometimes also go on a long vegetarian diet. except i eat vegetarian animals only… that means animals that don’t eat meat. like cows, chickens…

  8. nice picture of the gourd – buddha’s hand or whatcamacallitagain ? and the blur pic of onion. real artistic….

    vegan is actually a healthy diet but i dont have the discipline to go thru that – i’m a carnivore…no meat i die…..hang on there lilian..few more days to go..

  9. You’re going vegetarian not for any religious purpose but to practice discipline, right? Yeah, I think that is good. lol
    Seriously, I believe balance is the word. Too much of anything is not good….

    To me, going veg for a week or 2 should be no problem. Just dun ask me to give up salt! LOL

  10. hi auntie, ah pek is right, those mockeries are health killer+weight gainer!! but thanks anyway for shedding light on this matter…at least now i’ve an insight as to y vegetarians opt for those…but wat wud u to the komen only ur chui is jai, but the sim boh jai? (only mouth vegetarian, heart not vegetarian)

  11. sooi2 – I no eat everything at one go la, so no problems on that. I need the replacement for the protein supplies because eating only vege can kill me ler. Later muscles left. People like that hor, in every religion/faith oso got one. Outside pray-pray, inside all hitam-hitam wan.

    helen – I initially thought of cutting out sugar but I get dizzy. LOL. So, now must take at least something sweet once a day. I cannot live without coffee.

    foodcrazee – chayote. It looks obsence in sepia hor?

    simon – Aiks, got like that also? So that means no crocodile, no snakes lah? OK, I will remember not to belanja you that kind of animal meats.

    Jay – Now I wonder if I can get used to the fishies and meaties taste after off for so long. I hope not ‘cos I wanna revenge and binge on seafoods!

    mslenglui – I purposely photoshop all the fruits and vege to look p0rnish. The hairy one is the pulasan with jambu air in the background and the other one is chayote. A kind of gourd.

  12. ahpek – Haiyor…I no skali eat all the flour la. But balloon up like hippo hor, my atm said can sell for better price. Like selling pig, the heavier, the higher price.

    Tongkat AhLian – If you unconsciously do it, it is easier. That’s why I keep telling myself I am not abstaining for Lent. Because I know the moment I say I am going to abstain from meat for 40 days as a penance for Lent, sure got many temptations. So, I keep chanting, do it for fun only, no obligations, no rules, no one force me. Hopefully, at the end I manage it.

    wuching – Wuah…so encouraging. TQ

    hanyi – Adoi, why you disappeared for so long? You must teach me how to manage la, since you expert liao.

    willwolf – Can become younger looking, you know? The complexion and skin improves.

  13. I have been an Ovo-lacto-vegetarian since I was in school. I am not fat but not that thin either but perfectly healthy. But people do say I look younger than I really am. Not sure whether that is the rsult of being a vegetarian?

    However I am concerned about those fake meat but vegetarian food available in the market. Not sure what kind of preservatives they use.

  14. It’s weird, I’ve been to vegetarian shops for meals sometime before (not because I want to, but my lunch kakis wanted to, so no choice have to follow). Yea, they have all the fake meat there. Why? I mean, you are supposed to be vegetarian, but using all those vegetarian stuffs to make it look and taste like meat. It’s really like the porn that you explained. Makes no sense to go vegetarian then.

  15. Pssst!!! You atas vegetarian tapi bawah got eat meat anot? Can tahan meh? Eh, like dat hor, during Lent cannot perform BJ also ah because that would amount to having ‘meat’ in your mouth, right? LOL

  16. Cocka – Since you WERE more Christian than me before hor, can I ask you to answer instead? I skipped many lessons in my classes in Catholism, I am to shy to ask questions so I really really don’t know wor. And that day hor, my sijeh from Ipoh wan hor, told me these are unnatural acts and against the faith wor. Sei lor, I must go for confession or not ha, likedat? Sanfu Cocka please tell? All I know is St. Peter or is it St. Paul said ‘Wife, submit to your husband and something something or else you will be tempted by the devil. LOL.

    Dizzy – Which one? The onion?

    Sunny – Hey, it is still better than eating meat filled with mad cow and bird flu. And easier to pangsai oso.

    Adam – Those are made either from gluten or soya. I guess all process foods are like that so vege still a little bit better than processed meat.

  17. Yeah lor, for fun only, just enjoy it.
    Actually, there are many tasty Vegetarian meals, so don’t worry lah. U sure pass one.
    Happy Vegetating ! 😀

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