I wrote a long ranty post and deleted it. Some things are better left unsaid. So, I am going to rant just a little, wee bit.
I will tell you why I hate Ching Ming.
I don’t want to brush my teeth after I am dead. Heaven is where there is no tooth decay and no root canal. Dentists go to hell, we go to heaven. (no offence to dentists out there, ok)
I don’t want Koko Krunch and Smarties nor abalone and XO. Heaven must have better foods than that.
I want to get high naturally without beer and ohkau (stout). Ah Pek, I ‘chia’ you one ohkau, want anot?
And most of all, this. This piece of thing almost caused me to break down yesterday. But I took a deep breath and fark every old thoughts. Fark fark fark. Once you are dead, you are with God. Zoom there and no one is sick nor old nor small nor anything.
In case you can’t see it well, it is a packet of paper clothes for children, a small one. A pair of mickey mouse toddler shoe and some candies. Fark whoever has the idea to do this to those parents whose children had died. May their lampah (testicles) shrink and leave no descendants. This is the cruelest thing to do to a grieving parent. That they have to constantly provide for their dead children and those children never grow up.
(all the above are photos we took, we did not buy any of these stuffs)
I am so, so glad that I am in Christ. I do not have to be burdened with these stupid idea that we, the living are responsible for the dead. My Christian belief is they are in a better world, in a form like the blossoming trees (said so in Revealation) and that life there is like eternal spring. There are no pain, no sufferings from those relationship problems. Jesus said so in the Bible to the people who asked him about the woman with seven husbands. 🙂 Zig Ziglar also wrote about this in his book ‘Confession of a grieving Christian’.
My ever eager sister-in-law asked my atm to buy a pair of roasted duck and roasted chicken for their grandpa/great-granpa Ching Ming tomorrow. Atm knew I am going to force feed him leftovers (muahahahar) so he said no need. Sis said then buy a big bak pau (meat dumpling). Heh, I teh until he dropped the idea and grumbled that graves as old as theirs don’t need to eat bak pau anymore. I feel like shoving a bak pau into the mouth of whoever with these kind of ideas. Hence, my censored post.
Anyway, just now we went out to buy flowers because I wanted to bring them to the graves. So, let’s see how tomorrow goes. I am going to bed. But not before I packed my DSLR camera and digital camera, zoom lenses, batteries and get ready to take sunrise photos from the graves. Take dew drops, ants, grass, fire, smoke…
And I seriously need to reflect on my own actions and feelings. Hope God forgives me and release those deep anger in me. Sorry la, I purposely refused to buy chrysanthemum because I don’t want my sils to think that I am praying to the dead. I bought some purple carnations instead. I purposely want to buy packham pears because I know they don’t like to idea of ‘pear’ which sounds like rake in Hokkien. (raking the properties to my side). I even refused to help my atm to buy the fruits and kuehs (cakes) nor arrange them in the tiffin because I told him, “Hoi!!!! Cannot, later Jesus knock my head, I scared….” But seriously, in principle, I do not want to be reminded that we are responsible for the dead. Because it would means, I have a son out there, waiting for me to feed him.
That is the dilemma that I faced. I hope some years down the line, I will look back on this and know that I am pretty silly. It is kinda silly……