I am a night soil carrier every single blardy effing day!

Yesterday, I wore my Sunday best with dangling earrings, black shirt, black jeans, scarlet red nails and some crystal studded shoes to Ching Ming. (roll eyes, please)

Because I had to celebrate mass at 10 am as I missed the previous evening. Heavy rain poured so my kids and I did not have time to return home to change car and my atm had to drop us there.

Auntie S told me ‘Lilian, you look fresh!’. Heh, that’s a great compliment, coming from Auntie S who is 80 yrs old. She wore a cheongsam yesterday with matching jewelleries (just so you know that Auntie S is everyone’s favourite). She used to own a few boutiques in the beach hotels selling handmade, beaded accesories.

OK, after that uplifting words, I feel great. I told her, “Auntie S, I need to feel good, so that I can make others feel good.”

She told me, “You made me happy, darling!” (looking at me taking care of my looks as I had recently been taking advices from her)

Our choir practice finished later than usual yesterday and my #3 son accidentally took my handphone back. Midway, before it was finished, I got a nagging feeling in my heart. So, I took my bag and ran off even without asking for permission. I just ran off.

God’s grace. I found my atm already waiting for me at the outer room (not sure what they call it but it is a small room for adoration) in my cathedral. I was shocked or pleasantly surprised because it is easier to drag a camel into the church than to get that man there. Usually, he will wait for me in the car.

So, we had some laughs…

Atm : Aiyar, you so early…..I almost make connection with Jesus liao.

Me : Really?

Atm : If a few more minutes later, I sure sleep already. The aircond is so cold. Next time, ask your priest to make the pew more comfortable. Give head rest.

Me : (wtf! LOL)

I wasn’t sure why I was so eager to return home. Still got nagging feelings in my heart on the way home.

And here is why.

Eldest son waiting at the door for me. ‘Cos atm sometimes do that, leave the toddler in his charge so that he can go out for a quick errand.

#1 son : Faster, your son has just painted the whole house with shit.

#3 : (screaming from the living room) Oh,MOMMY…….toddler pangsai all over your house already. Quick I want to faint already.

Me : Haiyor…. (the perfume permeates through the air, leaving a heavy mingling pong)

Ran in and found the nekid toddler walking around the house nekid, oh i said that already, with muddied bums. Because he had been sailing around the house on the potty. Shit shit shit. Mix it with urine and you get spots all over the house. That toddler has the habit of doing his business while exploring the house.

Took him into the bathroom, hose him down. And do the task I do every blardy single effing day, pouring shits. *haihhhhh….so much for ‘I feel good’ feelings. I am but a night soil carrier.

Toddler can sit on the throne with a detachable toilet seat for kids but I do not want him to do that because he loves pulling off the toileteries within his reach. Or turning on the taps and hose everything inside including the flourescent light. So, I still have to do the task I do every blardy single effing day – pouring shits. There goes the red nails, earrings and wateva ‘I feel good’ woman stuffs.

Never mind, I had shopping therapy last night to overcome the trauma of pouring dettol all over the house and mopping. I went out and buy more woman stuffs. Expensive shit!

19 thoughts on “I am a night soil carrier every single blardy effing day!

  1. hehehe.. i used to be a kindergarten/nursery teacher.. am immuned to all that by now.. lol! it’s a good way to lose weight if one is not used to it coz u’ll lose ur appetite afterwards..wheeeeeee….

  2. **red-faced with shame** Though i am somebody’s mother hor, I still shudder at the thought of having shit (baby or otherwise) all over me! šŸ˜›

    I can imagine the frustration of having to clean the place! No easy task lar. But on the other hand, I think I will burst out in laughter if I can see no.1 and no.3 punya anxiety-stricken faces!! LOL

  3. Now we know why Christian Dior comes up with a new fragrance every other month. And if cannot afford the real thing, can always buy the imitation stuff from Chowrasta Market. Hilarious post, haha!

  4. One of the main reason why Gordon is still in nappies till now. Aiyo, the thought of toilet training him makes my stomach churn. I’m imagining the scenario you just had happening to me……………. AAAAHHHHHH!!!!! SHUDDER!!!!!

  5. haiz its called motherly love if not carry so much for wat? btw what happened to diapers? I agree with Simple American.
    If you think thats bad, my pet once made chocolate puddings all over the kitchen…….
    come come share yr therapy pics šŸ˜›

  6. aiyo..i have the same problem also! I damn frust! what to do what to do? everyone says, don’t scold la.. so much pressure la.. but damn frust not to let loose the extremities..heh heh heh!

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