My secret scoop on sperms donation

I am not bull-shitting but neither is my info 100% accurate. However, I hang around hospitals for a long time and nurses became my buddies. Sometimes, I eavesdropped when I was bored. So, let me share some secret scoop I got.

In-Vitro’ Fertilisation (IVF) involves bringing together and fertilizing the mature egg and sperm outside the body in the laboratory, hence the term “test-tube baby”. The resulting fertilized eggs or embryos are placed into the womb to develop. Thereafter, the pregnancy progress is similar to following normal conception.

Medically, I do not agree to IVF because sometimes, the women are more traumatised when their attempts failed and they had to undergo miscarriages after miscarriages. Sometimes, the babies are born extremely small and premature. We have a triplets here in Penang whom have disabilities due to their prematurity. Cost wise, some families practically had to sell their houses and other properties when these babies are borned with problems because of their lengthy hospital stay. One IVF attempt is about RM30K and there is no guarantee. If a baby has to stay in the hospital for a while, it runs up to RM200K easily. (Vincent expenses was about RM185K) Imagine tripling the RM200K?

So, don’t flame me if my views are rather opinionated and biased about IVF because I had seen the heartaches and the agonies. Of course, there are many successful stories too.

First, will you donate your sperms? Will you donate your eggs?

Secondly, when I am talking about IVF here, I am referring to cases where one of the partner cannot have the baby. It is either the man has problems or the woman’s ovaries are damaged.

So, the solution is to take the sperm and the eggs (regardless of the sources), fertilise them in a petri dish and then, when they form into embryos, the doctor will put the embroys into the woman’s womb. Usually, he will take three embryos for implantation. This is to increase the chances. Sometimes, out of three, only one survives. Sometimes, all three successfully implanted and the mother will be asked if she wants one, two or all three babies.

Have one or two is safer and better chances for her to carry through the pregnancy. If she wants only one, two of them will be taken out.

Now, where do you think the sperms come from? Or the eggs? As a man, will you go donate your sperms in sperms bank?

So, what I had the privilege to sneak peek is this…..

Doctor asks for sperm from his contacts. He will of course, find the same race. Sperms have to be freshly taken. I.e within a few hours. Egg is less of a problem because doctor can take some extra from those women and freeze them, I suppose.

Sometimes, I heard that he will take those extra sperms from those couples whom had consulted him. I guess the couples must have given their approval in some tiny, little fine prints.

So, can you envision two women, one with egg problem, the other with sperm problem. The eggs and sperm switched, both women get pregnant. They had babies but unaware that 50% is hers/his? I hope this is not true too. But hey, I heard this with my own ears from UN-trusted sources. I see with my own eyes how bunches of triplets are born at almost around the same time.

Therefore, if these children grow up, met each other, fall in love, marry and ??????.

Like I said, I am sharing what I have eavesdropped and heard from UN-reliable sources. This may not be true but it is worth a thought. So, guys, will you do so for humanity sake? Please comment with care, ya? Otherwise, comments will be moderated. Sperms donation, anyone?

30 Replies to “My secret scoop on sperms donation”

  1. I so nearly, nearly , nearly given this IVF thing a serious thought when after 7 yrs of fruitless attempts b4 i had Gordon. I did not go thru with it as i wanted to take a more holistic approach to my infertility problem.

    As u know, i started taking care of my health and paying more attention to my diet. Actually, my desire to have a child led me to my current profession in health and nutrition.

    I strongly belief many in the medical profession are just out to make quick BIG bucks when dealing with issues as vulnerable as infertility. Forget about being ethical about it. They prefer to see a successful statistic to boost their ratings up rather than another failed case. But, whether the process is successful or not, they have already pocketed their 20 – 30k.

    IMHO, i strongly object to sperm/egg donation unless we know whom we are donating it to to prevent the possibility of incest. I wanted to blog about this issue long ago but decided against it as i know i WILL offend many with the truth.

    My infertility problems are over and i’m now pregnant again with Malcolm. God bless. Given time and understanding of one’s health, many problems can be solved. But then again, we must never shun medical assistance as it helps diagnosed many underlying problems like blocked tubes and low sperm count.

    The most important thing is being comfortable with the choice towards achieving that ultimate goal. Of that, i have no regrets choosing mine. And i’ve helped some friends overcome theirs too with good nutrition planning. Especially those who’ve given up hope medically speaking. And also those financially depleted after the big ripoff and cannot afford to do another round of IVF.

    I’d better shaddap now. Getting long-winded liao….

  2. samm – Pheww…you said what I dare not. My post had been trimmed and sprinkled with rose petals ‘cos I own the blog and hence, one wrong structure of my sentence, I kena hang up by my skin. Of course, you do know that my Catholic faith totally forbids it? Islam allows the parents own egg/sperm. Catholic, no way! I even got hentam-ed once ‘cos I merely suggested to someone of the same faith as me to try IVF and another Catholic hentamed me. LOL.

    andycjw – I guess if this is too popular, as almost every hospital is scrambling to hire IVF experts, one day everyone has to take a DNA tests when they fall in love.

  3. In my younger years, the likelyhood of me donating is quite high. Now in my late 30’s, I am not so sure. I hate the thought of some kid wondering around in this world that is part of me. I want to know the well being of that kid. But, kudos to those who donate for sake of helping others.

  4. What a scary thought. But then again, for people like us (who can reproduce like rabbits), it is quite hard to imagine the desperation of those who have problems. I know someone who tried IVF twice in ten years; unfortunately, both times turned out unsuccessfully.

  5. For IVF to work, the eggs/ova have to be harvested from the same woman who is going to carry the baby. Sperms, eggs and embryo can be frozen for later use.
    In the west, a child has the right to know who is the biological father !! Therefore, a claim to the estate by the IVF child later may not be unreasonable 🙂 Donar anonymity is no longer maintained. 🙁
    I m concerned by the costs of medical care in M’sia. It should never be the domain of the rich and powerful. It would be nice to have free medical cares.

  6. 1) Humanity sake, no lar..I think thiw world is oredi over crowded. 2) Donation….meaning no money…duh…..no thank you. If I am a genius, I probably put my sperm for sale, muahahahaha.

  7. Lilian, you’re right. IVF is not allowed but GIFT (http://www.bostonivf.com/undergoing_treatment/gamete_intrafallopian_transfer.cfm) is. Both you n Samm have a good point. The thought of incest n then chances creating deformed babies due to the DNA mixing is a scary thought. Not only for the parents but also for the kid – imagine how tough life would be on both parties! Aiyoo….I think better not lar. If really cant have babies, then I think adoption is the next best thing. It’s extra graces n cookies point too. 🙂 But I know that not many ppl wanna adopt, it’s also a tough decision. *Sigh* Too early to think abt such deep topics lar…wei, u doing my meme or not?? 😛

  8. SPERM? oi, i hve plenty extra!! I am a sperm factory. which lady want oso i can give provided they accept it from me personally or extract them themselves. FREE of charge!!! Use my sperm! guarantee your kids grow up to be doctors and engineers!!!

  9. I read some fatwas (religious edicts) in the Middle East saying that IVF is permissible as long as the semen and ovum are from the legally married couples, and fertilisation takes place during their marriage, not after divorce of death of a husband.

    On the other hand, sperm donation and surrogacy are strictly forbidden.

  10. Oh! I never saw it from this angle before but at the same time, I think we need to emphatise with those who are trying desperately or unable to have children of their own. Phew! Its a tough one.

  11. ROFL, if those 2 eggs met and married, it is God act. BTW, isn’t it funny people against IVF. They should learn that IVF is invention allowed by God (unless the think Devil is mightier,lol) . 😉

    For the medical expenses parts, all I can say is fsck the MoH, gahmen and peoples who vote the current gahmenin place. The gahmen keep shrinking the of medical expenses ratio but refuse to implement national health care plan. I won’t count on the current PM to implement it.

  12. moo_t – No wor, God gives us free will and up to us to go which direction. Like human cloning also, we may thought of it, able to do it but ultimately, it is up to humans which path they choose to go. We can’t choose the dark side and then, point fingers and say ‘you made me this way mah’.

    egghead – It is not really expensive if they can afford it but the risk to the babies to be born that I am more concern of.

    MG – If using the same parents egg/sperm, then I see that as ‘medically given a little push’ though it is still wrong to fertilise so many, put in three and take out two, of course.

    skyjuice – I know IVF is permissible in Islam because there are couples who underwent it.

    ahpek – That’s what someone said lor, come, come to me, save RM30K and somemore get shiok. But will you let your wife to do so? No mah…

    Yvy – Wuah, I must read up what is GIFT. Tks for the lead. Meme – Heh, that one cannot write just like that, must think and make essay.

  13. Prometeuz – You lagi dahsyat, want to sell somemore. LOL.

    David – Is it? I think not so la, if the same egg, then probably the body won’t reject it so much. ‘Cos last time, got one woman who uses her sister’s egg here in Penang. Identity of the father can be revealed? I do not know that.

    jen – Ya, it is very traumatising ‘cos sometimes, they can’t carry it through and have miscarriages.

    wuching – Hehe

    kc – Yeah, that thought is quite disturbing. So many little kcs running around. As many as hundreds and even thousands! LOL.

  14. Lilian said:
    No wor, God gives us free will and up to us to go which direction. Like human cloning also, we may thought of it, able to do it but ultimately, it is up to humans which path they choose to go. We can’t choose the dark side and then, point fingers and say ‘you made me this way mah’.

    Well said.

  15. just wanna add…in kl, there is a local govt clinic that offers very affordable IVF, only upon thoroughly checking thru your medical history and after several consultations. So.. it’s not really only for the rich..the only prob is not many ppl are aware of its’ existence.

    i really emphatise for those who really want their own children..but i always say, if i can’t hv my own kids…i’d rather adopt. In fact, i’d rather adopt than hv more kids… 😉

  16. i read somewhere – People who accepted the donated eggs or sperms are now fighting for their rights in knowing the donators profile. There is a clause that ur privacy will be kept.

    Like you said, what happen if they met and fall in love and then kahwin….alamak….kinda difficult as they couples who have this problem have different opinion. What are the chances they will meet ?

    we are now trying IUI as it had been quite a fruitless year due to my wife’s thinner than usual womb lining. Dont think i will try IVF unless i have too. Whats wrong with adoption ? Cant people do that ?

    Just my 30cents worth

  17. Wah, so expensive meh the IVF?

    Anyway, I have plenty of sperms to donate too. But need to see who to donate to lar, only donate to lenglui 😀

  18. don wan…my eggs wor….got feelings of attachment one mah…just donate like that, later 20years down the road, someone knock on the door and say…”actually i am your child”..i will pengsan. or you jalan jalan on the street and one day feel that the person walking towards you look so familiar – like looking at a mirror!

  19. IVF is just the technique. It doesn’t dictate the source of the gametes used.

    The couple is usually well informed of all the risks (finances included) involved. Some even choose to dump their religion behind in order to have that one child – and treat it as their new God.

    And obviously you haven’t heard of the doctor who uses ONLY his own sperm on ALL of his infertile female patients. ;p

  20. doc – OMG, I don’t know to laugh or die in shock. But yeah, the expert did joked with his friend that if his fren can’t bring fresh supply, he will use his own. I was eavesdropping on the phone conver.

    BM – But heh, see what doc said, so it may be un-trusted sources but it is real as hell. LOL.

    mslenglui – I did wonder too, can I ever give my eggs away. Nay….cannot.

    Jacky – LOL, you can advertise, save RM30K, satisfaction guaranteed.

    foodcrazee – Usually, it is very hard for Chinese to find Chinese babies. But for Malays and Indians, it is easier to find babies to adopt. ‘Cos Chinese prefer to keep their own descendants even if they have no intention to take care of them. Just leave at shelter home and forget all about the responsibilities. I am not bull-shitting. One of the children shelter home’s supervisor told me so.

    mott – Yeah, we may never be able to feel for childless couples so hard for us to really empathise. But I think I will take the risks to have my own flesh and bones. Ignore me, I am just blabbling.

    rayhana – 🙂

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