I am going to play the unconventional Dear Thelma today because someone emailed a photo of a girl and the story below. It is a long email so I shall copy paragraph and paragraph and tear it bit by bit. (To the person who forwarded to me – Don’t worry, everything is safe with me. I won’t reveal the photo. Because we never know who is right and who is wrong.)
Sob story part one
Married to a loving husband for almost 10 years. We had two lovely girls aged 8 and 5, and i am now 5 months pregnant with a baby boy. For the past 1 year, he was always busy with his work. He has just been promoted to branch manager that time. I trusted him, he is the only breadwinner at home. As a wife, i allowed him to come back late and sometimes go away during the weekends for business trip. As least that is what he told me.
First of all, if you are five months pregnant, that means you have just had relationship 5 months and two weeks ago. So, I must say that there is light at the end of the tunnel.
Ahem, last time I used to have a Dr. Ng, a nice, sweet ob-gynae who always talked to me in the gentlest, well-mannered way and he used to say ‘relationship’. I was blur and thought it means I make friends-friends kind of relationship. Dr. Ng would say, “Lilian, you are at risk of a miscarriage, there musn’t be any relationship until your pregnancy is stabilised”. Doh, I thought I cannot make friends. LOL. OK, I digressed too much. So, now, back to Alice’s (fake name of course) problem. So, now you get what I mean by relationship, no?
Alice, you can never trust a man. Never. Ever. Men cannot be trusted. Even God made a mistake. God thought that He can trust Adam to run around the garden of Eden but see what kind of shit Eve caused? So, my point is – It was your naivety that partly contributes to this problem. Add that with imbalance in your priorities. Have you put too much emphasis on your children, their schedules, their achievements, yadda yadda yadda that you probably have forgotten that this man of yours need some kind of attention, ego-boosting, pampering, adoration, romance and all that jazz that makes a marriage works?
When you are living, sleeping, sharing the same toilet, bed, toothpaste with a man, you have every right to share his bank account, bills, schedules, handphones and etc. Why have it never occured to you that you could have probably show more interests why he has to travel far and wide? Why didn’t you also share his moods, his facial expressions and etc so that you can see on his face that his is blardy having an affair, falling in love, having great sex, getting younger in his appearance? Why? Which direction were you looking?
The mention of ‘sole breadwinner’ makes me a little nervous. Newspaper reports lurrvvee this little phrase…”So and so is the sole breadwinner, so & so now cannot work, so you all better donate or else the whole family oso die liao”. All the wives, have you ever give a little morbid thought of the ‘if tomorrow never comes?’. If say, the guy who brings back the bacon kicked the bucket, do you think you and your children are going to starve to death also? No! My father died when none of my five siblings work. My mom didn’t work. We survived. My theory is no one is going to die but suffer a bit, yes.
Ok, I go drink a glass of iced-water and take a cold shower first. Later, I come back and copy the other parts. Meantime, I hope I have not offended any straying husbands or any women whom had gone through a divorce. I am merely reasoning from all sides.