Dear Aunt Agony

I am going to play the unconventional Dear Thelma today because someone emailed a photo of a girl and the story below. It is a long email so I shall copy paragraph and paragraph and tear it bit by bit. (To the person who forwarded to me – Don’t worry, everything is safe with me. I won’t reveal the photo. Because we never know who is right and who is wrong.)

Sob story part one

Married to a loving husband for almost 10 years. We had two lovely girls aged 8 and 5, and i am now 5 months pregnant with a baby boy. For the past 1 year, he was always busy with his work. He has just been promoted to branch manager that time. I trusted him, he is the only breadwinner at home. As a wife, i allowed him to come back late and sometimes go away during the weekends for business trip. As least that is what he told me.

First of all, if you are five months pregnant, that means you have just had relationship 5 months and two weeks ago. So, I must say that there is light at the end of the tunnel.

Ahem, last time I used to have a Dr. Ng, a nice, sweet ob-gynae who always talked to me in the gentlest, well-mannered way and he used to say ‘relationship’. I was blur and thought it means I make friends-friends kind of relationship. Dr. Ng would say, “Lilian, you are at risk of a miscarriage, there musn’t be any relationship until your pregnancy is stabilised”. Doh, I thought I cannot make friends. LOL. OK, I digressed too much. So, now, back to Alice’s (fake name of course) problem. So, now you get what I mean by relationship, no?

Alice, you can never trust a man. Never. Ever. Men cannot be trusted. Even God made a mistake. God thought that He can trust Adam to run around the garden of Eden but see what kind of shit Eve caused? So, my point is – It was your naivety that partly contributes to this problem. Add that with imbalance in your priorities. Have you put too much emphasis on your children, their schedules, their achievements, yadda yadda yadda that you probably have forgotten that this man of yours need some kind of attention, ego-boosting, pampering, adoration, romance and all that jazz that makes a marriage works?

When you are living, sleeping, sharing the same toilet, bed, toothpaste with a man, you have every right to share his bank account, bills, schedules, handphones and etc. Why have it never occured to you that you could have probably show more interests why he has to travel far and wide? Why didn’t you also share his moods, his facial expressions and etc so that you can see on his face that his is blardy having an affair, falling in love, having great sex, getting younger in his appearance? Why? Which direction were you looking?

The mention of ‘sole breadwinner’ makes me a little nervous. Newspaper reports lurrvvee this little phrase…”So and so is the sole breadwinner, so & so now cannot work, so you all better donate or else the whole family oso die liao”. All the wives, have you ever give a little morbid thought of the ‘if tomorrow never comes?’. If say, the guy who brings back the bacon kicked the bucket, do you think you and your children are going to starve to death also? No! My father died when none of my five siblings work. My mom didn’t work. We survived. My theory is no one is going to die but suffer a bit, yes.

Ok, I go drink a glass of iced-water and take a cold shower first. Later, I come back and copy the other parts. Meantime, I hope I have not offended any straying husbands or any women whom had gone through a divorce. I am merely reasoning from all sides.

20 Replies to “Dear Aunt Agony”

  1. Hey.. Lilian,

    I read to Papa BoK what you wrote.. “you can never trust a man. Never. Ever. Men cannot be trusted. Even God made a mistake.”
    I 1000% agree with you ..!!
    A but then hor.. i think if Papa BoK stray hor.. he would feel extremely sad.. that he will lose Chloe more.. than I.. kekekkeeke!!
    Chloe is his LIFE..! even though he isn’t saying it in so much words. But I know my Papa BoK very well.. if anything should go wrong.. with our relationship hor.. his greatest risk is losing Chloe.. because he knows.. i will take the next flight out.. and be gone with Chloe.. and never coming back.
    Very the bad hor I..?? like i hold him hostage or something.. kekekkee!!

  2. Now I know why auntie will never get to donate blood….too many things to get your blood boil la!!

  3. wuah so fast got respond liao

    Prometeuz – Wait later parts will tell you why blood boil.

    MamaBoK – Yeah, once we know it, at least we are more wide eye and be prepared. Actually, until now, I don’t know where I stand on the thing. Hahaha, I must purge it out and see what’s my stand.

    wuching – Slow, slow la. Baru chiqik.

  4. “Even God made a mistake.”

    I digress.
    God is Almighty. God is Great. How can He make a mistake? He is infallible, totally unlike His creations.

  5. rayhana – Ok, ok, that is spoken off the cuff. But seriously that part of Adam and Eve, I still very much cannot comprehend. Why they have the freedom and the weakness. Nvm.

    king’s wife – Ok, done liao. It was an act of anger by the wife, I think.

    wuching – Heh!

    mama23beas – Actually, we have nothing to say but worth thinking about.

  6. When you mentioned the word “relationship” used by your obn-gynae, I laughed because that was the exact word my obn-gynae used and for the first few sec, I went like “hah”??

  7. Your gynae is farnee lah. Why can’t he say “Sex”. Shy ah? Hahaha. You lagi farnee, thot cannot make friends pulak! Sorry not related to this post. Just laughing out loud at that part of your post.

  8. aiyoh…. diu, everytime also u stir up my 8 poh instinct. I’ll finish reading the whole thing first…. * itchy fingers liao ** lol

  9. Surelah. If u get email with naked attachment. Reliable source, won’t u open email ? I definately open.

    Now, you see a young lady 20+, wear so, so short skirt. Of course I wish her skirt will drop ! And I am a 30+ lady. I am not a pervert wat, just a normal person.

    I say, if that ithcy woman wants dat husband, better release him. Plan properly. Save your money. Keep your evidence, so that you can keep your children + 1/2 of his property. Otherwise, how to milk husbands ? Husbands always stingy with wifey. But buy diamonds for SYT.

  10. Dear Lilian,

    Why they have the freedom and weakness? Because they are human. Just like us. We make mistakes too. But as long as we repent sincerely, God willing, He will forgive us. And Adam did repent, after God sent Him down to earth. And he was forgiven – “Our Lord! we have wronged our own souls: If You forgive us not and bestow not upon us Your mercy, we shall certainly be lost.”. Then God made him the first prophet on earth. But it was satan who successfully lured them to eat the forbidden fruit.

  11. U can never trust man… let me add some more…u can never trust women, ur pa,ma bro’s ,sis’s aunties, uncles and all relatives , ur own children or any Tom Dick and Harry.. period.

    God did not make a mistake….it was the woman..lah who asked Adam to take a bite … so who’s fault is it???

  12. Women also got 2 timed 1…If u still love her/him then u must win her/him back otherwise down the lonely road to divorce..

    Everything happens because it is fated or God wills it…
    so take it and swallowed it….. if u still wan to save ur marriage..

    Let God punish the wrong doer….

  13. I am a recently divorced thirty-one-year-old mother of two teenage daughters who has for the past six months been sexually involved with my sister’s son.
    I think it is fair to say we are in love, and would love to have children together. Would it be legally and morally right for us to do so?

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