I haven’t have this paralysing nightmare for a long time already.Â It is understandable that few years back, I often get it after all the trauma of listening to grown men groaning and weeping, seeing people dying on cue and dead babies everywhere.
I guess it must be my thoughts on SCB or reading too much Memoirs of a Geisha.Â Wateva….
We were are this family function.Â I know it is family but the faces aren’t my siblings nor spouse nor kids.Â Someone I knowÂ was holding his maroon colour Miranda (LOL) camera made in Canada.Â He was wearing a grey shirt.Â See?Â My technicolour dreams are driving me nuts!
Then, we were gathered in this big group for family photos. (looked atÂ too many of Jolene’s family photos, I guess) The group is really huge so I told Mr. Cameraman he won’t be able to get us in them.Â Only Mr. Cameraman’s face is familiar to me.Â But he said, “My camera made in Canada”Â (tiu, Canada produces only maple syrup, no?)
In the middle of posing, someone wanted to wee-wee and the group broke off.Â Then, I told my kids (I don’t see their faces but just know they are mine) that my mom and other deceased ancestors of theirs are sitting over there.Â (Point to a bench with old folks – must be Jolene’s fault again!)Â I told them to go give respect to the grandmas.
I don’t know how, but the whole photo session ended and we were driving out of some huge park.Â My atm was driving and I know I have kids at the back.Â He turned to look at the kid and he smashed his car into a row of six cars in the parking lot.Â We weren’tÂ jolted, just the 6 cars went haywire.
So, we were about to scoot off to report to the police.Â Someone on bike, wearing a red/white stripe t-shirt chased and bang on my window.Â I wind down the window a bit and told him, “Yalah!Â We are going to report to the police lah!”Â (die, dream also speak Manglish)
So, we were somewhere in Canada pulak now. And we kept driving and suddenly we were in the middle of the ocean, still driving!Â LOL.Â But this time, atm got panic and wondered if the sea leads to USA.Â LOL.
Suddenly, I feel I can’t breathe and I keep putting up my head higher and higher.Â Water was sloshing all around with bubble and loud gurgling noise.Â I can see blocks of cement (reading Memoirs where Sayuri carried Nobu’s block of cement) like those concrete pillars with what you call those oysters like shells on rocks?Â They are everywhere and we were trying hard not to bang into them.
At that moment, somehow, SCB’s name flashed in my mind.Â (probably she is thinking of me, and sending telepathy? for a plate of char koay teow?)Â I guess when I heard she was on ventilator the other day, I somehowÂ can feel her agony.Â I had seen enough people on ventilators who have great difficulties and the panic in their eyes are very hard to forget.Â Sometimes, when they intubate (stuff a hose into the throat) a patient, they struggled and I guess the feelings is almost like drowning until they relax and let the machine take over their lungs function.
Then, I started calling for God’s protection.Â I keep repeating and repeating.Â In my heart, I knowÂ that’s the end of us but I never once, turned my back to see my kids at the back of the car.Â I think I must be the only one drowning.
I must be paralysed from the nightmare.Â But thank God, I got awoken by the azan subuh.Â It was such a comforting voice withÂ the allahu-akhbar (the State Mosque is nearby).Â I found myself in the position of a drowning person with legs bend, body shape like an ‘S’ but at least my hands are still by my side.
I prodded my atm for some comfort and told him to drive extra careful today. Â I was too sleepy and shaken to relate the story to him anyway. Do you know that if you dream of someone in an accident, you should tell someone?Â Well, this is to break the curse.Â But don’t tell the person involved, remember.