Saturday found me with three kids scrambling about in Metrojaya while hubby went to pangsai (poo-poo). Metrojaya is a rather deserted shopping centre.
One hour earlier, toddler just had 80% doughnut, 90% huat kueh (some pink colour cake) and 50% goreng pisang in one sitting. (this is a lot of food) I was strolling through the cosmetics section when toddler asked me to carry him. And then, one of my worst parenting nightmares happened.
He puked INTO my pink handbag (there is a partial opening), my breast, turn over and puked somemore and got some on my hair ends and a little on my butt. ‘Cos I have perky butts mah. Oh my GOD! What to do? Everyone was staring. I dare not make a scene so I cooly walked off to find a Bangladeshi sweeping floor and told him to clean up the mess. Point, point while talking to him to let people know ‘shaddap already, I am in control, you all never see kids puking meh? See, what see? Never see before ah?’
Haiyohhh…can you imagine all those immaculate made up, super lansi SKII, Lancome, Shiseido, Estee Lauder cosmetic promoters staring at me? They pinched their nose and started spraying their perfumes into the air. (nolah, this e was what my other sons related to me to pull my legs)
Took him to the ladies and cheebye tap is one of those ‘press and stop’ tap head. Water flow was slow. Curse, curse, curse. Cilaka! After washing, the sediments can’t go into the drain pipe and water clogged in the basin. Atm pulak nowhere to be seen, maybe happily sitting atop the throne in some nice, clean men toilets whistling while I was in there with a bunch of women queueing for toilets. These women were also staring at me ‘cos I had taken off toddler’s shirt and pour out my handbag contents on the basin.
Do you know how banana, doughnut and sourish huat kueh smells after mixed with stomach acids? And how sticky they are? Plus oily? I got to wipe every damn thing I had in my handbag. (karma for doing the handbag meme, p’haps?) That includes the buttons of my handphone.
After all those cleaning, I still stink. And my handbag too. So, ‘teh’ to atm that he must compensate me for all the trauma and embarassement.
“You know hor….this one is my Ms. Read RM50 precious t-shirt and this one is my RM200 leather handbag. Now, your son made it so smelly, how wor? I don’t care, you must compensate me liao.”
Heh, I was only joking. But that man really took me back to Metrojaya, and while I was busy picking out EIC jeans, he found a t-shirt and handbag for me. Don’t you just love toddler puking? If like this, do it often oso never mind lah. Then, I get a new bag and new clothes every time.
(The real colour is much darker, not so bright blue orh. Can consider this as my Mother’s Day gift liao hor?)