OMG, my son puked INTO my handbag and my breast!

Saturday found me with three kids scrambling about in Metrojaya while hubby went to pangsai (poo-poo). Metrojaya is a rather deserted shopping centre.

One hour earlier, toddler just had 80% doughnut, 90% huat kueh (some pink colour cake) and 50% goreng pisang in one sitting. (this is a lot of food) I was strolling through the cosmetics section when toddler asked me to carry him. And then, one of my worst parenting nightmares happened.

He puked INTO my pink handbag (there is a partial opening), my breast, turn over and puked somemore and got some on my hair ends and a little on my butt. ‘Cos I have perky butts mah. Oh my GOD! What to do? Everyone was staring. I dare not make a scene so I cooly walked off to find a Bangladeshi sweeping floor and told him to clean up the mess. Point, point while talking to him to let people know ‘shaddap already, I am in control, you all never see kids puking meh? See, what see? Never see before ah?’

Haiyohhh…can you imagine all those immaculate made up, super lansi SKII, Lancome, Shiseido, Estee Lauder cosmetic promoters staring at me? They pinched their nose and started spraying their perfumes into the air. (nolah, this e was what my other sons related to me to pull my legs)

Took him to the ladies and cheebye tap is one of those ‘press and stop’ tap head. Water flow was slow. Curse, curse, curse. Cilaka! After washing, the sediments can’t go into the drain pipe and water clogged in the basin. Atm pulak nowhere to be seen, maybe happily sitting atop the throne in some nice, clean men toilets whistling while I was in there with a bunch of women queueing for toilets. These women were also staring at me ‘cos I had taken off toddler’s shirt and pour out my handbag contents on the basin.

Do you know how banana, doughnut and sourish huat kueh smells after mixed with stomach acids? And how sticky they are? Plus oily? I got to wipe every damn thing I had in my handbag. (karma for doing the handbag meme, p’haps?) That includes the buttons of my handphone.

After all those cleaning, I still stink. And my handbag too. So, ‘teh’ to atm that he must compensate me for all the trauma and embarassement.

“You know hor….this one is my Ms. Read RM50 precious t-shirt and this one is my RM200 leather handbag. Now, your son made it so smelly, how wor? I don’t care, you must compensate me liao.”

Heh, I was only joking. But that man really took me back to Metrojaya, and while I was busy picking out EIC jeans, he found a t-shirt and handbag for me. Don’t you just love toddler puking? If like this, do it often oso never mind lah. Then, I get a new bag and new clothes every time.

(The real colour is much darker, not so bright blue orh. Can consider this as my Mother’s Day gift liao hor?)

29 Replies to “OMG, my son puked INTO my handbag and my breast!”

  1. Hey.. love tht bag!! Nice!! I liked this kind of blue oso, just nice, not too bright, and the studs give away an edge to it.. 🙂

    Hmm.. for every kid’s puke can get new bag and clothes.. not bad, not bad.. hehe, kidding!

  2. U’d better freaking gerenti me that this recipe for disaster had better work on Gordon oso, lolz. I wan handbag and new clothes too. But then hoh, i want to do that in LV…..

  3. there must b a better way than to stuff Gordon or the little ones!!! eg give ur hubby a wild n passionate night that he cannae forget, n use that as a leverage 😉 😉

  4. next time tell toddler, puke on the makeup counter or find some snobby person and puke on them lor.

  5. Now, tell me one thing! Why on earth did u go and gorge that poor kid with all that food??? To keep him quiet…while u browse thru the whole of Metrojaya! Gee! They should take u in for child abuse!!! Tsk! Tsk!

  6. ur atm is such a sucker for u!

    suituapui pull that trick wif his kids everytime he wants compensation from shopping centres wan right?

  7. Aiyo, vomit is one of the things that I really can’t tahan! I remember when a cousin was still a baby, that boy once puked on me 3X one particular day. He’d hit me with a metal ruler everytime I see him and I did nothing to deserve that. I bet he didn’t like me then, now he wouldn’t mind me adopting him even. I’d have gone and get myself a new top/t-shirt and handbag too if I were in the same situation. Your ATM is a thoughtful person indeed.

  8. This Wuching!! If MY kid vomits, I will have to compensate! Where got ask people compensate one? I know it’s Monday! U still sleeping & groggy from the wkend kah?

  9. Nice bag lar!! Very very nice! Hey, when u say mother’s day gift, u mean the baby puke ar? Afterall, its the gift (puke) which inevitably led to this bag and T. lol

  10. 😛 At least you got compensated for your puked stained shirt and bag 😛

    But seriously..don’t you think he ate a tad too much 😛

  11. One puke brought you a new Valentino beg, your toddler can do wonders definitely. LoL…

    Is that green or blue? I see it as green leh…

  12. Yalah! QV’s rite! Thank God he doesn’t look like us! Maybe bcos he vomits everything out eventually! Eee…anorexic? Bulimia?? (And Wuching, I not CBC lah!! That will be the day! Ha ha ha ha ha!)

  13. STP – My boy-boy wanted to eat that much I cannot stop him wor. We actually ate at another location, 1 hour earlier, not immediate.

    Bryan – Bluish -green. And your eyes so sharp can see Valentino brand somemore? Wuah, scary. How many inches is your monitor? kehkekeh

    QV – Yeah, at least I got something to sooth me. Urggh…the embarassment and trauma of getting puke all over.

    Wuching, what is CBC?

    helen – NO lah, Mother’s Day coming so early-early must demand presents from the husband. Kids don’t earn money so must suck from the husband all the gifts I can get. $$_$$

    ahpek – Oi, you buy present for your ahsoh yet anot? One more week to go ler. Go buy some sexy lingerie hor? Not some vaccum cleaner or pots and pans hor?

  14. Sky – It was my lucky day indeed. ‘Cos earlier I had zapped RM500+ for my spec and contact lenses (I order much earlier before my red eyes). So whatever comes later are bonuses.

    mythoughts – Yeah, I agree that he did find a nice one for me.

    wuching – That’s the power of ‘teh’ lor.

    STP – He is a small STP in the making! Can’t help it cos he wanted to eat everything he saw. He is still skinny so no worries yet.

    romantic – Aiyor, cannot la. ‘Cos in Penang we got so few places, later they recognise me I got no more shopping mall to go.

    David – Wuah, so easy oni? All the wives must follow your tip then.

    Samm – LV? Wuah…expensive taste hor. But I thot LV bags are dem lauyah one, especially those brown leather ones with the LV. Every Datin who made it big carry it.

    Wingz – You got taste!

    _butt – TQ!

  15. CBC is a term that STP,KNB and I came out and now Wuch is also using..it is the abbreviation for Chey Bin Chiau..or green face bird

  16. Chey Bin Chiau is someone who kek sim easily, becomes a sour grape, sulks and gets angry at the slightest thing.

    For more accurate definition, ask STP to elaborate further….

  17. so good ah? next time must ‘pakat’ with son to puke on old clothes, shoes…hmmmm, maybe on the car seat as well..???! lol

  18. btw, tot you photo-fanatic? never instantly fish out your camera and take first hand photo of the pukes meh? kakakaka

  19. cocka – no need sunglasses, i just remember not to use flash when i take photo. Why? The studs turn you on? Reminds you of your BDSM orgies?

    mslenglui – Aiyor…damn embarassing liao, somemore take photo, I betul-betul chisin liao. Hahaha.

    QV – Oh, now I know. I like that CBC too!

  20. That is how the little one like to do,overstuff herself and make dada carry…and countdown…
    milk etc all over.

    Normally if that happen in the car…mommy kena one liao! Cos daddy always noe when she wannado that trick of hers.

    Eventually, we get used to it.

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