The ultimate remote control that every husband wishes for

Single men like Doc probably thinks the ultimate remote that a man needs is the what-whatvibrator control.  (forget the name liao ‘cos I cannot find his old posts.)

Married men like Wingz knows the hard truth.  He said this:

how nice if all wives comes with a *mute* button hor ? hahahaha

Now, Wingz is setting up a Desperate Husbands club.  Whoever wants to join his club, say aye!.  Membership is open for MCP husbands and MCP future husbands.
The club will endeavour :

  1. To change the ten commandments from : Thou shalt not covet (meaning : Wish, long, or crave for (something, especially the property of another person) thy’s neighbour’s wife to : THOU SHALT COVET THY NEIGHBOUR’S WIFE…..
  2. To change the holy words from ‘You shall love your neighbour as you love yourself’ to ‘You shall love your neighbour’s wife as you love yourself’
  3. Make it a mandatory law that all wives can be returned to the store like a shirt two sizes smaller.  If you married a size 6 wife (her clothes size, i.e.) and she turned a size 10, you can return to the store and get a new size 6 again, Made-In-China or Thailand, the choice is yours.
  4. Make it illegal to use the mother-in-law’s name.  No more ‘Cap Mohor Ibu Mertua’ quote.  (this is like a royal seal which no one can challenge)
  5. All women must be inserted with an electronic  chip before saying ‘I do’ and husbands have the ultimate remote control to press the mute button.
  6. Ship all wives and their children to their mother-in-laws’ homes for one month, every four years during the World Cup.
  7. Make sure that all wives can read manual, including the car repair manual, VHS video recorder to DVD manual and most of all, must memorise the karma sutra manual on its 101 positions.
  8. Absolve all men from following their wives shopping.
  9. Also make it illegal to ask husbands, ‘Do you think my butt looks fat in this skirt?  Is the green dress nicer or red one nicer?…you get the gist?’
  10. Set up a R&D laboratory to produce the ultimate mechanical wife.
  11. (add your own suggestion for the Desperate Husband club charter)

13 Replies to “The ultimate remote control that every husband wishes for”

  1. Oie, wat happen lei, how come got this thingy la, so, Lilian, are you a committee member? who is director, president, co-president, club whip, treasurer, secretary, bouncer, program director, etc, etc?

    I vote Lillian to be president! hehehehe…. ok? Wingz can be director! ok?

    Cheers!

  2. JoeC – You must read my blog longer and know what EXACTLY I am getting at ler…Hehehehe, dun read and believe bulat-bulat lah.

    kat – That’s a nice one. LOL.

    wuching – 1st 10 members who join gets a 10% discount off that remote.

  3. Another thing, I forgot to tell that particular desperate husband that he didn’t look like a clown that day lah. Men who can balance one tray of meatballs on one hand, a backpack, shopping bags and a boy with the other hand look seksi ler not clownish. Don’t you agree?

  4. AYEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!

    mumgather ar the clown at the circus can even juggle more ler~~~ u think he sexy anot jekkk lol!! oh the tray contains not only a plate of meat balls but also got 2 pack of oren jus and 1 plate of shrimp salad (for the kid one) … terror anot!!!

  5. SA – *in whispering mode* male chauvinist pig! LOL.

    wingz – Haiyor…you very the cheonghei hor?

    MG – I think Mrs. Wingz must spot the Mr. Right right away (read my women’s blog)last time.

  6. Fat Hope lor Men.
    Desperate? Learn Yoga and Meditate.
    You can ‘filter out’ the pot-pret of the missus.

    Like my MIL said to me, if the missus pot-pret, just go somewhere else.

  7. Aiyo! What’s all this? When u marry, u promise…”to love and obey, for better or for worse, for rich or poor, in sickness or in health, till death do you part!” Chesh! What to do if ur choice turns out to be ur greatest mistake? U’ll just have to live with it!

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